I have a confession to make. I LOVE everything about this guy. His look, his voice, his mannerisms, his jokes. He exhibited so many characteristics you need to be a Browns fan.
- He swears. A lot.
2. He drinks. We didn’t become the 4th drunkest fanbase by NOT drinking.
3. He’s kind of diesel but not too diesel. He works out but not enough to shed that beer weight. Everyone knows that having that extra weight is crucial for winters next to Lake Erie.
4. He doesn’t care what you think. He knows he’s being filmed and still doesn’t give a fuck. He’s mad and has something to say and it needs to be on camera.
5. He’s hairy. Now I don’t have any statistical data to back this up but I’m pretty sure Browns fans are hairier than other fan bases around the NFL.
6. He has a “Fuck Cincinnati” shirt. Most people have at least one of those shirts you’ll see being sold out of shopping carts in the Muni Lot. Whether it’s a “Bitch I’m a Dawg,” a “Johnny Fuckin Football,” or “Only Bitches Wave Little Yellow Towels,” we all own one of them.
7. He makes Bill Cowher jokes. Everyone has a go-to Pittsburgh joke and my man here is no different. I don’t care who you are, that Bill Cowher joke was hilarious.