Indians

The hump day to beat all hump days, folks. Our lord and savior Michael Brantley will hit the on-ramp and merge onto the road back to major league baseball tomorrow afternoon. I’m still tempering my expectations, because Cleveland, but this is better than great news. The sooner we have our PhD back in the three hole and roaming the green grass in front of our brand new scoreboard, the better.

Thankfully, it hasn’t necessarily been all crabgrass in the outfield in his absence. In his pursuit of being our center fielder come April 4th, Tyler Naquin has slashed a manly .417/.440/.667 and is second on the team with 10 hits so far this spring (2 doubles, 2 triples.) Jose Ramirez, who made his debut in center a few days ago, is the only player on the Indians who has more hits than Naquin (11.) The others (Grossman, Cowgill, Butler, Robinson, Davis) have been rather yawnish, although Davis did have a three hit game yesterday. And Lonnie’s not not 1 for 21. So, yeah, the sooner the better for Smooth.

I’m still not expecting The Return until late April, but at the rate he’s been going, he’ll be available to pinch hit later this afternoon.

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Indians

Second (annual?) Cleveland Indians Mean Tweets

March 15, 2016 Ai Leave a comment

Well one thing hasn’t changed since last year’s first edition of Indians Mean Tweets – I can’t figure out how to embed the video. So here’s a link.

Eeeeeeeeeesh.

I know he rubs some people the wrong way but I actually kind of like Mike Polk. He may be a little over the top sometimes but his Browns stuff is usually on point, and the video he did with Swish two springs ago was pretty damn hilarious.

That being said….no, no, a thousand times no for Mike Polk on Indians Mean Tweets. The whole point of this bit, the reason it’s so funny is to hear athletes and celebrities read things people say about them. They talk, we laugh. They don’t need an emcee as a middle man. It’s like the guy in the bathroom that offers to squirt soap into your hands or throw your trash away. Why? The only time I don’t really find Polk funny is when it seems like he’s trying too hard, and he’s at max effort for the entire 3 minutes here.

In his defense though, he wasn’t given much talent to work with. Kluber, Kipnis and Lonnie were the unquestioned stars of last year’s video. Nowhere to be found this year. The 2016 version is half as long and features 8 people to last year’s 25 (3 of which are brand new to the team.)

Last year (6 minutes) – Tom Hamilton, Lonnie Chisenhall, David Murphy, Yan Gomes, Jim Rosenhaus, Scott Atchison, Cody Allen, Jason Kipnis, Brandon Moss, Carlos Santana, Nick Swisher, TJ House, Chris Antonetti, Terry Francona, Rick Manning, Matt Underwood, Corey Kluber, Zach McAllister, Carlos Carrasco, Mike Aviles, Sandy Alomar, Charles Nagy, Josh Tomlin, BOB UECKER, Michael Brantley

This year (2 minutes and 43 seconds) – Mike Polk, Danny Salazar, Roberto Perez, Mike Napoli, TJ House, Cody Anderson, Joba Chamberlain, Tommy Hunter

Maybe this is good though. Hilarious video last year, no playoff appearance. Reverse jix?

Bonus Bob Uecker Hall of Fame induction speech because it’s funnier than both of these things and anything else you’ll watch today