Gary you dog! Pass catcher, blocker, diva dater. Who would have thought a Browns tight end would be going on two dates with Rosa Mendes and his name wasn’t Jordan Cameron?
Apparently Mendes told Gary she wasn’t looking for just a quick hook up (sucks for Gary), and he quickly turned his sights onto bigger and better things in current diva and former lingerie football player Summer Rae. Love it. Gary Barnidge- Mr. Cleveland 2014.
See? She already has experience playing football. It’s a match made in WWE/NFL Heaven.
PS- I went to WWE Raw when it came to Cleveland this past June and sat right next to Barnidge in the front row. He left for about an hour to go film for this Divas show. Well, my friends and I got really hungry and thinking that he had left for good, we stole his nachos he had just bought and DEVOURED them. To our surprise he returned like 20 minutes later. Whoops.
Yesterday ruled on so many levels. The city of Cleveland sent the entire Pittsburgh Steelers organization and their fans back to their dumb gross city with their tail between their legs. The brown and orange looked good doing it, too. Jordan Cameron finally played like the All-Pro pass catcher that he is. The defense bounced back from an ugly game two weeks ago in Tennessee by straight up violating Big Ben and co. Buster Skrine had himself a game. Sure, we took a kick to the dick when Armonty Bryant went down (knee surgery, out for the year), and then to the nuts when Alex Mack followed suit (broken fibula, not sure how he won’t be). But the boys rallied, John Greco spread em’ for Brian Hoyer and the offense didn’t miss a beat.
Today the official Browns YouTube account uploaded a couple fireballs that will get you even more hyped for next Sunday than you already are (to view the second, just hit next, it’s a two video playlist) . I honestly don’t know the last time I’ve looked forward to the sabbath day as much as this.
I’m hungover, sunburned, my voice is gone, my hands are blistered from high fives and clapping… I’m tired. Sick. Kinda have the shakes. Might puke soon… and you know what? It’s all 100% worth it. That game yesterday was a BEATDOWN. A massacre. A bludgeoning. An extermination. A complete and utter decimation. There’s no other way to put it. The Browns were DOMINANT for 4 quarters. How many times have “dominant” and “Browns” been used in the same sentence since 1999? Once? Twice if any? It hasn’t been thrown around regularly since the 80s or early 90s I’m sure. If you’re keeping track at home, the Browns have outscored the Steelers 55-13 in the last six quarters of football. Fifty Five… To thirteen. That’s a score equivalent of the ’85 Bears playing the Permian Panthers JV team if the Permian Panthers JV team were all deaf, blind and quadruple amputees. Did I just compare the entire Steelers team to a 53 man roster of players with no arms or legs? Yup. You bet your sweet asscheeks I did.
We’re 3-2. Could easily be 5-0. Feels like 16-0. Have a realistic chance of getting to 6-2 (let’s not get ahead of ourselves though). I’m jacked up and you should be too. First Energy Stadium was rocking louder than it’s ever rocked before and good God almighty was it BANANAS in there. Let’s look at the damn game tape:
Our boy Tha Crow got things going
Lawrence Timmons, you’re too little, bro.
But you know what that means. Cue the god damn music and cue it right now!
Antonio Brown was rocking the BMX helmet hairstyle postgame. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think this was a fire haircut. If I wasn’t white and on the verge of being obese, I’d TOTALLY have this hair.
I actually don’t hate Brett Keisel as much after this picture. His beard is still dumb though.
Can’t help but think of the Lion King theme after seeing the above picture
Looks like Happy learned how to putt
And then this happened and kinda broke the Bottlegate Twitter
PS- Saw Johnny’s girlfriend in the Muni Lot before the game. Certifiable 10.
PPS- Brought a camcorder into the Muni Lot yesterday too. Should have a nice little video posted in a week or two… It was awesome being called a perv by some girl while I was filming.
PPPS- Most of those pics are from Cleveland.com. Don’t know if I have to say that but w/e
Bottlegate 