https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpmETN9-GPQ

A wise/psychotic woman once told me while cussing me out in front of the entire cafeteria in high school, “I may be a bitch, but I’m a bad bitch. Rememba dat.” If there’s a badder bitch than Abby Wambach when the guitar drops in this video, I’d like to meet her.

I know it’s “cool” to hate on soccer, and if you don’t like it that’s completely fine by me, but if you hate on America I wish you nothing but strife and misfortune. Our star-and-striped ladies are ranked second in the world and begin their quest for a third World Cup title tonight at 7:30 ET against Australia (what are the odds). They haven’t won one since 1999 and are coming off a heartbreaking loss in penalty kicks to Japan in the 2011 final. Two of my main girls are a little banged up in Alex Morgan and Megan Rapinoe, but the aforementioned Wambach and Canadian mynx Sydney LeRoux are good to go (look at her Instagram, I dare you).

Sure, goalie Hope Solo may or may not have tried to beat some cops and FIFA has all sorts of shit going on right now, but you start singing the Star-Spangled Banner and I’m there. Rock, flag and eagle baby.