“LeBron James finished two assists shy of a triple-double when the Cavs beat the Hawks on Saturday, and an eight-year-old Atlanta fan named Eli doesn’t want it to happen again.
Eli checked out a book from the library, found some information he thought might be useful to Hawks coach Mike Budenholzer and decided to send him a letter with his scouting report.”
“Dear Coach Bud-
My name is Eli. I’m 8 and I love the Hawks. I checked out Kings Of The Court The Cleveland Cavaliers from my school library. The book says LeBronJames.com has LeBron’s strengths and weaknesses. I wanted you to know this. I hope the weaknesses help you beat the Cavs.
This is awesome. The city of Atlanta knows it’s gotta be all hands on deck if they want to beat the Cavs and contend in the East, your boy Eli here was just trying to do his part.
Of course, the “weaknesses” section of lebronjames.com no longer exists because there’s no point in having a section of a website dedicated to absolutely nothing. I plugged it into the Wayback machine but couldn’t find any snapshots that included the section in question. I’d imagine the list looked something like this though:
- Goes through too many sneakers due to overuse
- Spends too much time above the rim
- Handshake memory loss caused by complexity and sheer volume
- Cheats to get himself into the line that scores the basket during 3 man weave
- Home cooking
- Nail biting
PS 100% chance Mike Pettine saw this story, opened a new tab in his browser and typed baltimoreravens.com with just his index fingers