The “kissing bug” is a lot more horrifying than it sounds

“A potentially deadly disease carried by the “kissing bug” has made its way into more than half of the United States.

The inch-long triatomine bug is called the “kissing bug” because it has a habit of feeding on blood by biting around the lips and faces of people while they sleep, CNN reported.

It’s not the bite that’s deadly, but rather the bug’s other unfortunate habit of defecating on the bite afterward. Some kissing bugs are infected with the parasite Trypanosoma cruzi, which can be transmitted in the fecal material, and cause the potentially deadly Chagas disease.

Chagas disease most often causes flu-like symptoms like fever, body aches and vomiting. However, 20-30 percent of those infected with the disease can contract chronic conditions, including difficulty breathing, chest pains and sudden death. WECT-TV reports that these symptoms can remain dormant for up to 20 years.”

So just to run through that again real quick…the kissing bug is about an inch long, bites people, shits on their face and/or in their mouths, and can give you a deadly disease that can be dormant in your body for up to 20 years.

Nope.

What a dickhead this kissing bug is. Exactly no parts of its existence are okay. At one inch, it’s not enormous but any bug I can tell is a bug immediately without squinting and asking “Is that a bug?” deserves to die. It bites around your face and lips. I got chills just typing that sentence picturing one of these assholes crawling on my face. They then SHIT IN THE BITE HOLE THEY JUST MADE. What. Part. Of. That. Is. Okay? Plain and simple, in the animal kingdom, if you shit on the face of another living being, your entire species deserves to die a thousand deaths. Can you imagine some psychopath guy walking around biting people and pooping on their faces? In their mouths? Ghandi would buy a glock on the black market and ship it to Mother Teresa so she could put a clip into him herself. And I thought the morning anxiety I get after a night of drinking was bad…I’m going to wake up wondering if a bug bit and shit on me every morning for the rest of my life. Thanks, Obama.

Talk about gun control and taxes and walls all you want, 2016 presidential candidates, but if you want this blogger’s vote, eradicate the balls out of the kissing bug.