Category Archives: Browns

Browns v Panthers Monday Game Tape; Make it Stop

 

(press play before reading, it really sets the mood)

I’m not mad. I’m not sad. I had no emotion watching that game. Just a complete 100% feeling of apathy towards this team and organization right now. Hey, at least it took until game 15 for the disinterest to set in, that usually happens around week 9. Someone needs to grab a rifle, take the 2014 Browns season out back and put it down  Old Yeller style.

If you’re keeping track at home the Browns started 6-3, went to 7-5 and will now most likely finish the season 7-9. It’s false hope Groundhog Day all over again. Year after year. Sigh, Let’s look at the game tape.

Me watching the game

 

There was a lot of this

Andrew Hawkins died (along with my soul)

Johnny clapped

Then fell

Then he died too

Cam Newton did a lot of this

But then he did this. WTF?

 

Jordan Cameron had the longest play of the year for a TD (please re-sign Jordan Cameron. PLZ)

 

But nothing mattered because Cam came back and found Jonathan Stewart for a TD to take the lead for good… and the Browns lost 17-13… and have lost what feels like 15 in a row… and now have  end of the year question marks regarding their quarterback, coach, and general manager for the 17th year in a row… Got all that?

 

Couple quick thoughts:

– Saw a lot of “If the Browns fire Mike Pettine next week I’m done with this team!” Um, no you’re not. You know that and I know that. You’ll be back mid January salivating over mock drafts and scouting free agents. Quit being dramatic and shut up.

– With that said the Browns BETTER NOT fire Pettine

– I met Ray Farmer yesterday and he’s a lot bigger in person than people realize

– How about Pierre Desir? Doesn’t play a lick all season, comes in and throttles one of the better young receivers in football. I was very impressed with him.

– Charlotte was cold and their drumline makes ours look like a 3rd grade elementary school band

– Sooooo…. what do we do at quarterback next year?

-I stick with Johnny, give him a whole offseason to work in Berea, work with receivers, study the playbook, watch film, and get in the weight room. Hopefully this season teaches him what the NFL game is all about.

– Did he look that bad on TV? I was at the game and it seemed like he wasn’t playing THAT poorly.

-The only good thing I can say about yesterday’s game was that the players didn’t quit. We haven’t seen that in previous years.

– Hey Garrett Hartley mad a field goal. Kickers that make field goals are like, so cool.

– I really like Karlos Dansby.

– Pretty sure that Billy Winn Int and return should’ve never been blown dead. But what do I know.

– Gilbert, Manziel, and West were non factors yesterday. Bitonio, Crowell, Kirksey, and Desir played well. 15 games is way too early to tell for rookies but it’d be nice if our first round picks could contribute and/or play.

– I’m excited for the new jerseys.

 

See you in Baltimore

Breaking News: Ahtyba Rubin’s farts smell like shit and garbage

rubinfart

 

Via Kevin Jones

 

Maybe quote of the year from Billy Winn? It has to be in the conversation, right? Just throwing Rubes under the bus with that line. C’mon Billy don’t blow up someone’s spot like that. Whatever, he has gas, all guys do. No need to put it out there that the stink is so bad it’ll make your eyeballs sting and burn your brows off.

This tweet perfectly describes the lineman lifestyle. Just big, burly giants who stink and sweat and have farts so rancid that they can evacuate an entire film session with one toot. Linemen are a different breed.

Probably discussing farts

 

Guy from Comcast says Johnny Manziel will never be good because people call him “Johnny” and not “John”

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Whoa! Turn down the temperature, grab the fire extinguisher, and call the fire department, this take is smoking hot! Damn, and I thought all along that Manziel’s height and smaller stature could be a detriment to him in the NFL. Nope! Boy was I wrong, if he just drops the “Y” you’re looking at a Super Bowl caliber quarterback. Who cares about learning the intricacies of the game or getting live game reps, the real secret to being a successful QB in the NFL is how you spell your first name. Hey losers, he doesn’t go by “Andy Luck,” it’s “Andrew” thank you very much.

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Welp. I guess Teddy Bridgewater is done for. Should have stuck with Theodore. Idiot! What about Tony Romo though? Should he go by Antonio? That’s a tricky one. I bet if he went by Antonio he wouldn’t have fumbled that snap in the playoffs at Seattle.

Hey Sean, if you make a dumb statement you’re going to get dumb responses (like this blog)

 

 

PS- Bernie Kosar, Johnny Unitas, Kenny Stabler, Vinny Testaverde, Archie Manning, Boomer Esiason, Andy Dalton (cant argue with a $115 million contract), Eli Manning (Elisha), Sonny Jurgensen (in HOF), Bobby Layne (in HOF), Sammy Baugh (in HOF)… Yeah I Googled “hall of fame quarterbacks.

Oh, and Johnny Utah. Maybe the greatest QB to ever wear the Scarlet and Grey at Ohio State.

PPS: People don’t forget, Sean

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