Cleveland Browns | Bottlegate

Ah, the 4th preseason game. The most meaningless football game (on any level) of the year. The game where starters don’t play a down yet a backup’s livelihood can depend on if they can hold their block on the punt team. While the Browns will most likely play their starters for a portion of the first quarter, the Bears have already announced that their starters won’t see the field. With tons of questions still unanswered about this team, these are a few of the ones I want to figure out:

1. Can the Browns 1st team offense pass the 50 yard line vs the Bears second team defense?

The offense has left much to be desired so far this preseason. Hopefully Brian Hoyer and Co. can pull their heads out of their asses and try and get some cohesion going into the regular season. I’d love to see a throw or two downfield so when teams scout us during the regular season they’ll see that we actually CAN throw the ball over 25 yards. I know in the grand scheme of things preseason football doesn’t mean shit but I think it’d be good for the Browns and their fans if the first team offense looks semi competent and maybe, just maybe, can get into the end zone.

2. Is Johnny Manziel’s new Snickers commercial the best commercial of the year or of the decade?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0_aBMgBo_k#t=12

The Budweiser Clydesdales, Terry Tate Office Linebacker, Cindy Crawford drinking a Pepsi, Johnny Manziel teaching aerobics. All-time classic commercials. Add this one to the list. Are there an Academy Awards for commercials? Because if so, Johnny just won them all.

3. Can Mike Pettine’s vaunted defense stop Jimmy Clausen and his cast of misfit toys offense?

The first team defense VASTLY underperformed vs. the Rams on Saturday, making teammates Shaun Hill and Austin Davis look like the 2nd coming of Joe Montana and Steve Young. The secondary got exposed and the front seven allowed Hill and Davis to sit in the pocket and sling it all over the field. Hopefully Pettine and DC Jim O’neill can draw up some blitzes to get to Jimmy Clausen and knock that stupid ugly look off his face.

4. Who will step up and claim the last receiver spot(s)?

Miles Austin, Andrew Hawkins, Nate Burleson (I think) and Travis Benjamin will all make the team. Now that Josh Gordon is officially not coming back, that means Charles Johnson, Willie Snead, Marlon Moore, and Taylor Gabriel are all fighting for the final spots. Gun to my head I say Charles Johnson and Willie Snead make the 53 man roster but we’ll see.

5. How sexy will Rex Grossman look in his Browns game uniform?

Answer: Real fucking sexy.

6. Can Johnny Manziel continue to progress?

The main thing I’ll be keeping an eye on is how comfortable Manziel looks on the field. I felt he made some good strides last week and hopefully he can continue to do just that. I’ll be extremely upset if he gets a rushing or passing touchdown and this isn’t his celebration:

7. Will the Browns go winless in the preseason?

I know I’ve preached time and time again that the preseason is pretty pointless but According to FootballOutsiders.com, 68 percent of winless teams go on to have a losing record in the regular season. Even if the Browns finish the preseason 1-3 it still looks A LOT better than having a zero in the win column. Hopefully tonight will be the first of 20 straight wins culminating in a Super Bowl trophy.

PS- After the first half is over I will 100% be tuning into Texas A&M vs. South Carolina.

1. The new video boards are fantastic. They completely change the dynamic of the stadium and it feels like a brand new place. The sound system is also an enormous upgrade. For the past couple seasons I usually sat in the upper deck (because I’m poor) and the sound system was AWFUL. It was a nice change hearing some hip hop music and not hearing a rattling sound while your seat vibrates.

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2. Why the Browns chose to defer to the second half after winning the coin toss might have been the most asinine move of the night. When your offense clearly needs work, wouldn’t you want to maximize your offensive possessions against the Rams first team defense? Very questionable decision to start the game.

3. I really think we’ll have a solid run game. I do. But when there is no deep threat on the field/when you don’t throw the ball more than 11 yards, how do you keep a defense honest? When the weather starts to turn why won’t teams decide to stack 8 in the box on every play and dare the Browns to throw?

4. Is Nate Burleson going to make the team? He’s missed every preseason game, isn’t practicing, and just turned 33. Unless he plays in the 4th preseason game and actually makes an impact my prediciton is he gets cut. He’s basically this year’s David Nelson.

5. Every time you hear and see this on third down-

Automatically means the opposing team will be getting a first down. It’s automatic. Death/taxes/Opposing teams converting on third down vs. the Browns.

6. The only bright spots during the whole game were the rookie Chris Kirksey and the kick return team. It seemed like every person they put back there to return a kick was getting between a 30-50 yard return. Hopefully Travis Benjamin can break a couple big returns while handling permanent return duties. If we’re being honest, he’ll probably have A LOT of chances.

7. Even though it was vs. the 2s and 3s, Johnny looked a lot more poised and confident this game than last. He had a couple balls dropped and wasn’t helped by the 2nd team offensive line. When he first came into the game you could feel the energy and excitement in the stadium. It was quite the contrast from the overall feeling of apathy in the 1st half.

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I squealed like a girl

8. If the Browns 1st team defense looked like that against Shaun Hill and Austin freaking Davis imagine what they’ll look like against Ben Roethlisberger, Drew Brees, and Joe Flacco. Heh. I know its preseason but c’mon, you made Hill and Davis look like they were playing 7 on 7. I know there was no Joe Haden but still.

9. I love the Browns new dog Swagger.

I don’t appreciate Butler’s bulldog talking shit though.

I offered consulting. RT @sjackson0328: The @browns seriously need @ButlerBlue3 to help w Swagger! Not nearly as cool as it could be.

— Butler Blue III (@ButlerBlue3) August 24, 2014

Found a picture of Swagger in the future after a week 14 loss to the Colts