Category Archives: Cleveland

Video: The Fox 8 News Broadcast Drew A Penis On Live TV

I’m a simple man with simple tastes. Simple things stimulate my simple brain. I like fart jokes. Love a cold glass of water and the smell of a freshly cut lawn. A full tank of gas brings a full smile to my face. I still enjoy the occasional crying Jordan or clever 3-1 joke. So OF COURSE I’m going to laugh my ass off when a news anchor “accidentally” draws a large male penis during a live news broadcast. And OF COURSE I’m going to post a blog about it.

It’s been a weird week around the country so maybe, just maybe, Fox 8 did this on purpose to bring some levity to our lives. You can’t watch that video and think that that news anchor didn’t know exactly what he was doing. The precision and accuracy were just too on point.

 So we’ll heal with laughter and if you can’t laugh at a giant dick drawing on your TV, then what can you laugh at?

 

[h/t @twkovach]

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The 25th of October

imd

Cleveland will be the center of attention tonight for sports fans all across the country. It’s an obvious statement, we’ve been hearing about it for weeks now. That phrase, “center of attention,” is usually a subjective distinction. This time it isn’t. This time it’s a fact.

The Indians are one of two Major League Baseball teams still standing and the Cavaliers are one of two teams getting the new NBA season started, and they’re doing so 30 minutes and a couple hundred yards away from each other. So just by the numbers, out of all the people out there that have an interest in sports, a vast majority of them will be watching what happens in the Gateway District tonight.

But it’s a lot more than that.

The Cavaliers were step 1. They famously ended our city’s 52 year championship drought in June, and did so in historic fashion. Just in case any of the rest of the country had forgotten that Cleveland is an NBA Champion or that the Golden State Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals, there’s going to be a ceremony with a shitload of television cameras everywhere tonight to remind them.

The Indians though, they weren’t supposed to be here. A talented team, sure. But to do what they’ve done, the way they’ve done it, and the players they’ve done it without? If we win the World Series that would be like the Cavs winning it all in 2015 without Kyrie and Kevin. And LeBron. And Joe Harris putting up 20 with a buzzer beater to win the Eastern Conference Finals.

And that makes tonight even sweeter. The Cavs run was absolutely incredible and tonight will be absolutely incredible at the Q. The folks next door will be experiencing something incredible, too. But for reasons a little different.

There’s nothing more satisfying than doing something other people don’t think you can do. The Indians did it all season long, they did it by sweeping the Red Sox in the ALDS, they did it by beating the Blue Jays in the ALCS and they’ve done it by advancing to their first World Series since 1997. They’ve done it without some of their best players, and they’ve done it against some of the best teams. They’ve done it. And now they only have to do it four more times.

Tito said it best. “I just think if you look too far back, or you look too far forward, you miss what’s right in front of you.”

So whether you’re at the game or at a bar or on your couch tonight…try not to be on your phone that much. Give too many high fives. Cheers your Bud Lights with strangers. Scoot over to make more than enough room for your fellow feather heads at The Corner or in the bleachers. Just take some time to look around you and take everything in.

Conventional baseball knowledge tells you the Cubs will win this World Series. Conventional baseball knowledge also told you the Blue Jays would win the Championship series, and that the Red Sox would win the Division Series. Conventional baseball knowledge can go to hell.

We’re playing with house money. A lot of it. And our seat is on fire.

 

KEEP THE CHIEF

The Kardashian Curse Has Officially Infected Cleveland Sports

CLEVELAND, Ohio– The Indians won a ballgame Thursday night, but their postseason dreams ended.

CLEVELAND, Ohio- The Browns lost a heartbreaker on Sunday, but their postseason dreams were over before they began.

CLEVELAND, Ohio- The Cavs started workouts this week, but their season is probably over before it even started.

Why are all teams done, you ask?

khloetristan

September 2: The Day Every Cleveland Team’s Dreams Ended Before They Began.

Image result for khloe tristan thompson

Image result for khloe tristan thompson

So let’s start there, September 2nd. It was a nice Friday before Labor Day Weekend. Carlos Carrasco was on the mound for the Indians and he threw 7.1 innings of shutout ball vs. the Marlins. Little did we know that Carlos would be making one of his last starts of the year.

September 2nd was the day before the Browns would be cutting down their roster to 53 players.

September 2nd was the day it was announced on the Internet that Khloe Kardashian and our beloved NBA champion power forward Tristan Thompson were dating. Nothing good would come of this.

See, the Kardashians are kind of like Lupus. One minute you think you’re healthy and everything is going great. You’re happy. You’re loving life. Then BOOM, the next minute you can’t get out of bed, your leg has swollen up like a balloon, and your immune system is attacking your body from within.

And that’s the Kardashians. They sneak up on you like Lupus. No symptoms, no warning signs, nothing. Within a few days or weeks your immune system  or your team could be totally fucked. It doesn’t matter how dominant your starting rotation was supposed to be in the playoffs, or how good your stud rookies were looking (even if the team as a whole is a pile of shit), once the Kardashians reach your team and city, it’s a wrap.

Let’s take a look at the numbers. Since Khloe and Tristan were first rumored to be an item, the Indians lost 40% of their starting rotation and their starting catcher. The Browns lost a quarterback. Then another quarterback. And a center. And their rookie starting defensive end. And their rookie first round wide receiver who was coming off of a 5 catch 104 yards and 2 TD game.

  1. Carrasco
  2. Salazar
  3. Gomes
  4. Griffin III
  5. McCown
  6. Erving
  7. Nassib
  8. Coleman

EIGHT starting players in like 2 weeks. That’s absurd.

This isn’t a coincidence, guys. If any Cavalier tweaks something in the preseason I’m writing to our local congressman and starting a Change.org petition to put an end to this relationship. I’m not having THAT family be the reason the Cavs don’t repeat as champions. Hopefully it’s not too late but it probably is. 

Lupus has infected our city and we are so, so screwed.