Garfield Heights woman punched by stranger hiding in her car

Killer-in-the-backseat

From Cleveland.com:

“The woman parked her van in a lot on the 4000 block of Turney Road and returned with her 11-year-old son about 8 p.m. Oct. 11.

She opened the sliding door and a teenage boy wearing all black jumped out of the van, punched her in the stomach and then ran away.”

Yes, I kept the headline from cleveland.com because it made me laugh out loud.

And you’re all free to make your own decisions, but I’m probably avoiding the 4000 block of Turney Road for the time being. Two weeks ago a sweet 16 birthday party ended in pepper spray and looting. Now they have kids in all black hiding in cars and punching people in the stomach. In my head they’re like their own state, governing among themselves and following their own laws. Everybody else stays out and lets them do their thing. The 4000 block of Turney Road is pretty much the Vatican. Except they have no laws and don’t govern shit.

PS This had to be a dare or an initiation to the least violent gang of all time, right? Jumping out of the van and punching a lady in the stomach is much more like “Haha I hid in your car and scared you and your kid you stupid idiot” than “I’m hiding in your van because I’m going to fucking murder you.” Basically glorified flirting.

PPS I don’t give a shit how many times I get made fun of, THAT is why you always check your car for strangers in the back seat before getting in. And you’re goddamn right I check behind the shower curtain before going to the bathroom too.

This Michigan guy giving a pump up speech while tailgating is the funniest thing I’ve seen all month

This was BRUTAL. Dude, relax. You’re 3-4. You’re not a good football team and neither is Penn State. I don’t understand who he’s talking to either. Does he think he’s Bo Schembechler and he’s actually firing up his players?  I know this type too. About 5’4 and when he gets a few beers in him he thinks he’s 6’4. Probably used to tear up the college intramural flag football circuit back when he was in college. Still thinks he has a chance to go pro and make it big.

It’s almost kind of sad what Michigan has been reduced to.

Go Blue 😦

Here Is A Sad Gallery Of Sad, Sad Michigan Fans

Friday Feels: Browns OL Nick McDonald

first

From Cleveland.com:

“Over the next few weeks, (Nick) McDonald might be pressed into service to replace the great Alex Mack — who’s likely lost for the season with a broken fibula — but nothing that happens to him on the football field will be tougher than what’s occurred in real life.

When McDonald was 14, his mom, Irene, died of colon cancer that spread to her liver. An admitted mama’s boy, McDonald was crushed by her death.”

“His father, William, was so devastated that he left McDonald and his three siblings alone in their Sterling Heights, Mich., home and bolted for Louisiana.”

“The McDonald children, three boys and a girl, were left alone in the house to fend for themselves. At the time, they were 18, 17, 14 and 11.”

Trying a new thing here at Bottlegate (and probably for the majority of the city of Cleveland if we’re being honest). Starting today, every Friday we’re going to stray from the pessimistic analysis of our sports teams and the alarmingly bleak public interest pieces to bring you a feel-good story for the week. Something to hopefully get you smiling before you wake up hungover tomorrow and want to kill yourself.

This inaugural Friday Feel comes from our girl Mary Kay Cabot. Now I know we all love to use MKC as our go-to Cleveland media punching bag, myself included, but she actually did a really nice job with this story. And what a story it is.

You hear the rags-to-riches bit in professional sports all the time. Tough childhood, no father figure, hardly recruited, went undrafted, etc. But from the sounds of it, Nick McDonald saw both sides of the coin. Yeah he moved a lot as a kid with both his parents being in the military, but it’s not like he was living on the streets. He had a mother who he was very close with, and a father. He had the family. But when his mother died, his father left him and his siblings and he had all of that taken away. To even survive that, let alone make it to the NFL and win a Super Bowl ring, is nothing short of extraordinary.

I’m 24 years old and still trying to figure out the “real world”. Grocery shopping fucking terrifies me. Can you imagine being his oldest brother, trying to provide and put food on the table for your siblings as an 18 year old? Or Nick, working odd jobs to make money to pay for things you literally need to survive when you’ve only been alive for 14 years? Good lord. I would have been TOAST if that was me.

I’ll tell you what though, if we have to replace our Pro Bowl center, give me Nick McDonald all day every day. I want a guy out there that has been through what he has and did whatever it took to survive, because you know he’ll do whatever it takes to win. When that tough SOB is barking out orders, I don’t care if you’re rookie Joel Bitonio or seven time Pro Bowler Joe Thomas, you’re gonna listen.

 

PS Dad leaves, son becomes NFL player, dad comes back. I’m not gonna say scumbag because I’m a class act and I don’t judge people, but scumbag.