Need Indians tickets or a dime bag? Call 216-420-HITS

So I’ll keep this one short and sweet. I just had it pointed out to me last night that the phone number for the Indians executive offices is 216-420-HITS and I’m absolutely fucking flabbergasted. It’s a number you hear ALL the time if you listen to games on the radio, or watch the games on TV, or follow them on any sort of social media. Basically, if at any point in your entire life you’ve paid one ounce of attention the Tribe, you’ve seen or heard this number read aloud a couple million times. I’m 24 years old, I’ve been a fan my whole life and I had to have it pointed out to me. Last night. By Mike. I’m actually embarrassed.

It’s not like this is a new thing either. Thanks to the Wayback Machine, we can be sure this has been the Indians phone number since at least 2007 (the oldest archive available of Indians.com). Chris Perez MAILED POT TO HIS OWN DOG in 2013 and I still never saw this phone number brought up. Absolutely stunning.

Seriously, why though? Hits are just things that happen in baseball. One of many, many things. Not specific to the Indians. In fact, most of the time, not at all specific to the Indians. Why not 216-420-BATS? 216-420-DIRT? 216-420-FANS? Just so many options and they went with literally the only four letter word in the English language that pertains to both baseball and smoking weed. I, for one, can’t believe it’s lasted this long. Maybe if those god damn Dolans would spend some money on PR talent they’d realize why they get a dozen calls a week from slow talkers in Colorado.