Tag Archives: drugs

I’m In Love With These Drug Kingpin Sisters From Cleveland

Via Cleveland.com

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Four suspected drug dealers — including two sisters who lived in Rocky River — were indicted by a federal grand jury Tuesday and charged with dealing large amounts of club drugs in the Cleveland area.

Rinald Turhani, Denisa Alicka, Jonida Alicka and Leka Konini each face a drug conspiracy charge. Prosecutors say that the quartet were part of a scheme that brought at least 44 pounds of MDMA and high-grade marijuana from Canada into the Cleveland area and other parts of the country.

Prosecutors and the FBI have described the conspiracy as a dangerous one. They said that some of the drugs were dealt out of the posh apartment complex where Denisa Alicka, Turhani’s girlfriend, lived in Rocky River. She and Jonida Alicka, 28, would also routinely travel from New York and Michigan to transport the drugs.


I don’t see what the big problem is here.

Remember when LeBron was drafted and he pledged to “light up” Cleveland like “Las Vegas?”

Well. What quicker way to transform Cleveland into Las Vegas than by supplying its residents with pounds upon pounds of molly? We already have casinos and gambling. We have strip clubs. We already have an outdoor club with a pool. We have Super Pimp. What else do we need?

Club drugs. Lots and lots of club drugs.

In my humble opinion these sisters were just trying to make Cleveland great again.

Plus, they’re easy on the eyes and everyone knows hot people don’t go to jail.

jonida

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Prisoners react predictably when drone drops drugs in Mansfield prison yard

Via Columbus Dispatch

“The drone deposited a package containing enough tobacco for seven packs of smokes, enough marijuana for about 70 joints and a dollop of heroin that could yield more than 100 doses at Mansfield Correctional Institution.

While the airborne delivery sparked a brawl as inmates tussled over the package, it didn’t ultimately reach its intended target. Corrections officers found it hidden in a rec-yard equipment room.

A report said a fight broke out between prisoners in the north recreation yard of the prison about the time the drone was determined to have dropped the drug package.

During the scuffle, the package was thrown over a fence from the north recreation yard to the south yard, where it was hidden in an equipment room, the report said. Officials also searched roofs for any other packages, but found none.

Corrections officers used pepper spray to douse the fighting and about 200 prisoners from both the north and south recreation yards were carefully searched before being returned to their cells.”


Tell you what…being in prison and having a drone fly over you and drop a shitload of drugs is just about as close to winning the lottery as you can get. There they are, rotting in the most miserable place imaginable with no joy or hope whatsoever when suddenly a mechanical angel appears and the one thing left on Earth that can make 99% of them happy starts raining down on their gross heads. That’d be like me sitting in my cube at 3:00 on a Wednesday afternoon and a Roomba bumps into my foot with a bottle of Jack Daniels taped to its back.

Also I know the cat in that video wants to make drones sound super complicated and difficult to use cause he’s an expert drone pilot cause he’s a nerd, but spoiler alert, there ain’t no high-rises in Mansfield, Ohio bub.

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Now admittedly I’ve never flown one myself so I don’t know how hard they are to handle but I’ve never been more confident about anything in my entire life than I am when I say, you give me a drone and put me anywhere near that prison and that sucker is gonna end up in the recreation yard.

Kudos to whoever drew this plan up though. So much more comfortable than in someone’s butt.

Need Indians tickets or a dime bag? Call 216-420-HITS

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So I’ll keep this one short and sweet. I just had it pointed out to me last night that the phone number for the Indians executive offices is 216-420-HITS and I’m absolutely fucking flabbergasted. It’s a number you hear ALL the time if you listen to games on the radio, or watch the games on TV, or follow them on any sort of social media. Basically, if at any point in your entire life you’ve paid one ounce of attention the Tribe, you’ve seen or heard this number read aloud a couple million times. I’m 24 years old, I’ve been a fan my whole life and I had to have it pointed out to me. Last night. By Mike. I’m actually embarrassed.

It’s not like this is a new thing either. Thanks to the Wayback Machine, we can be sure this has been the Indians phone number since at least 2007 (the oldest archive available of Indians.com). Chris Perez MAILED POT TO HIS OWN DOG in 2013 and I still never saw this phone number brought up. Absolutely stunning.

peres

 

Seriously, why though? Hits are just things that happen in baseball. One of many, many things. Not specific to the Indians. In fact, most of the time, not at all specific to the Indians. Why not 216-420-BATS? 216-420-DIRT? 216-420-FANS? Just so many options and they went with literally the only four letter word in the English language that pertains to both baseball and smoking weed. I, for one, can’t believe it’s lasted this long. Maybe if those god damn Dolans would spend some money on PR talent they’d realize why they get a dozen calls a week from slow talkers in Colorado.

KEEP THE CHIEF