Via Cleveland Scene

24-year-old Alexandria Mauer and 33-year-old Kenneth Gillespie were pulled over on Basset Road shortly after midnight on Saturday after reports trickled in to police that a nude couple was loitering in a nearby parking lot and later had taken off in a car that was spotted driving on a curb and through tree lawn.

When authorities approached the vehicle they found the duo clad in their birthday best, with Mauer polishing off a piece of pizza and Gillespie balancing an open container of beer between his feet. The pair was promptly arrested — Mauer for OVI and public indecency and Gillespie for public indecency and open container. Police added on disorderly conduct for Gillespie after he urinated in the back of the cruiser.

Am I the only one who doesn’t see a crime here? I mean, I did the EXACT same thing this past weekend- I drank a lot of alcohol, got drunk, then ended my night with my own large pizza from Panini’s on W. 6th (a weekend night tradition). The only difference between my night and Bonnie & Clyde’s night is that I was wearing clothes. Tomato tomahto.

C’mon Westlake PD, can’t we let these 2 live a little and just enjoy their youth? What’s better than letting your flag pole fly in the wind and enjoying a hot slice of pie? Nothing. That’s what. I refuse to live in a country where being nude, drunk, and hungry for pizza is a crime. My grandfathers didn’t fight in World War 2 for this shit.

If I had any initiative I’d start a GoFundMe for these pepperoni loving rascals to cover their court costs. Pizza lovers stick together and I can’t stand for this. I won’t stand for this.

**disregard the whole OVI and pissing in the cop car thing, those are just minor details obviously.