From Deadspin:

“Former Major League Baseball player Russell Branyan was arrested last night in Nashville, Tenn., on a charge of felony aggravated burglary, allegedly of his ex-wife’s home.

The victim of the alleged burglary is Branyan’s ex-wife, Jill Branyan. It is unclear when the two divorced, though as of 14 months ago Russell referred to her as his wife. According to a warrant that was issued for Branyan’s arrest on Oct. 31, he broke into Jill’s house while she was sleeping, stole some things, and fucked with the thermostat.

“The defendant made entry into the residence of the victim without having the legal authority. The defendant and victim are divorced and the victim is the legal resident. The defendant entered while the victim was asleep and removed various items from the home. The defendant also tampered with the thermostat inside of the home, making it extremely cold. The defendant acknowleded [sic] to the witness that he had removed the items from the residence and now wanted to return them. All events took place in Davidson County Tennessee.””

Wonder what he stole? Probably a throw pillow or two and the batteries from the TV remote. This sounds more like flirting than a domestic dispute if you ask me. Like when you would steal a girl’s notebook in middle school. 80% chance Russell let out a “He he he” as he tiptoed like the Grinch out the front door.