Category Archives: Cavs

Cavs

The Cavs preseason intro video will give you a Cleveland boner

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A nice ode to the 2008-2009 season with the Jeezy music.

Here’s the ’08-’09 verson:

Let’s compare the two:

08-09 roster (in order of appearance)

  • LeBron James (decent player)
  • Zydrunas Ilgauskas (Cavs hall of famer, 2x all star)
  • Terrance Kinsey (who?)
  • Wally Sczerbiak (good looking white guy who could shoot)
  • Delonte West (had an affinity for moms or something)
  • Lorenzen Wright (12x NBA all star)
  • JJ Hickson (broken jump shot)
  • Mo Williams (decent, choked in the playoffs)
  • Ben Wallace (great defender, skills diminished while in Cleveland)
  • Sasha Pavlovic (bum)
  • Darnell Jackson (umm..played at Kansas?)
  • Anderson Varejao (the Wild thing, fan favorite)
  • Jawad Williams (saw him on West 6th one night)
  • Boobie Gibson (parlayed 1 good ECF game into a fat contract, married a nice, proper, professional young woman)

Related: Kyrie and Kevin Love freestyling in Brazil

2014 Intro Video roster

  • Kyrie Irving (2x all star, All star MVP, FIBA world championship MVP)
  • Dion Waiters (4th pick in 2012 NBA draft)
  • Kevin Love (too many accolades to list. really really good)
  • Anderson Varejao (one of 2 players from the 08-09 team)
  • Mike Miller (deadly 3 point shooter)
  • Brendan Haywood (serviceable big man)
  • LeBron James (has blossomed into an above average player)
  • James Jones (3 point champ in 2011)
  • Joe Harris (good looking white rookie from Virginia)
  • Matthew Dellavedova (Aussie hustle)
  • Shawn Marion (4x NBA all star)
  • Tristan Thompson (selected 4th in 2011 NBA draft)
  • Ray Allen (soon)

Incredible. The fact that the 2008-2009 team went 66-16 may be the biggest miracle in sports history. Look at that squad! Compare the two rosters and it’s honestly hard to see the Cavs finishing below 70 wins this season. Vegas has the OVER/UNDER on Cavs wins this season set at 58.5. Here’s a little Bottlegate advice for you- HAMMER the over and thank me later while we’re Scrooge McDucking into our riches.

PS- The second all of our posts go live, they’re posted HERE. We’re fun I swear.

PPS- If someone doesn’t buy me this Kevin Love shirt, then I have lost faith in all of our readers

PPPS- Hi new readers, welcome to Bottlegate. Can I get you something to drink? Take your shoes off, stay awhile and explore the site.

Cavs

Cavs Thursday Game Tape… for a scrimmage. Get ready for Showtime.

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So the Cavs had a little intrasquad pick up game last night. It was attended by a few Cleveland fans. And when I say a few fans I mean it was attended by more fans than what 50% of the other teams in the league average per home game. A few 17,000-plus fans packed the Q to watch Kevin Love, Kyrie, Lebron, and Co. put on a nice little dazzling performance and showed what they’re capable of looking like this season.

“But Mike it was only a scrimmage, why are you posting a Game Tape?”

Because when you have a championship caliber team in a city starving for a championship, we’re going to post everything they do. Bottlegate is gonna cover the SHIT out of the Cavs this season.

https://twitter.com/JeffDLowe/status/517439873322844160

If you don’t get chills hearing “ST VINCENT ST MARY!!” then you’re probably a robot.

http://instagram.com/p/toNrSVmSz2/

GOOOOD LUCK guarding Kyrie this year. Good freaking luck.

I have a feeling Dion is gonna make around 700 three pointers this year. And that may be an understatement.

https://twitter.com/JeffDLowe/status/517461598529536000

Think we’ll score a couple baskets in transition this season? I think so.

OH HELL YEAH

Sweet video the NBA put out

The new floor is an absolute 12/10.

But the best moment of the night came after the game

Fucking awesome.

Get ready for Showtime.

PS- This was supposed to be a 10 am post but yesterday was my birthday and I spent all night at the vet because my dog had a blocked intestine. Happy 26th I guess.

Cavs

Everyone on the internet is wondering what happened to Lebron’s hairline. The answer is so incredibly obvious.

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At his shoe reveal 2 weeks ago

Screen Shot 2014-09-16 at 11.21.51 PM

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Practice from this weekend. Where’d his hair go?

 

After practice today

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Everyone and their sister is freaking out about Lebron’s hairline today. “Did Lebron get hairplugs?” “What happened to Lebron’s hairplugs?” “Is Lebron painting his head to look like he has hair?” Blah blah blah blah. The answer to the Lebron hairline riddle is so obvious it’s not even funny.

Let me set the scene: Saturday night after the Cavs first practice LeBron probably had his new teammates over to celebrate the start of a successful season. The beer and liquor started flowing. They were probably watching the Notre Dame-Syracuse game and every time Notre Dame scored, everyone would take a shot. The shots were pouring at a breakneck pace. Everyone was having a great time.

Now it’s been well documented that LeBron lost a lot of weight this season. Because of his weight loss, he’s unable to process alcohol like he used to. Since he was doing shot after shot he most likely passed out early at the party. Following LeBron’s house rules, his teammates (led by Mike Miller because he seems like the type) thought it’d be HILARIOUS to shave some of LeBron’s hair while he was passed out drunk. Can’t blame them one bit, they were only honoring House Rules. It was the noble thing to do.

Tags: drunk christmas head-shave prank elf

We all had that one friend in high school that didn’t know how to drink and would get his hair cut or get an eyebrow shaved off every time he passed out drunk. That’s exactly the same thing that happened to LeBron here. If anything it’s just some team bonding and will only make the Cavs stronger in the long run. Building team camaraderie in September equals championships and trophies in June. Love it.

PS- How good was that Buzzfeed title of this post? Stay tuned later this week, “You won’t believe what happens next!”