Browns

I Am Officially Betting On The Browns Every Game For The Rest Of The Season

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Yep. It’s been decided and written in stone.

I will officially be betting on the Browns to cover in every game for the rest of the 2016 season. I’m removing all emotion from the actual outcome of the game and just focusing on the spread and if the Browns cover that spread. As the Browns continue to lose this season, the betting lines will continue to get more favorable for the Browns. I can totally see them being two touchdown underdogs at home in week 5 when Tom Brady comes back.

Most likely the Browns won’t be favored in any game during the 2016 season aside from MAYBE when they host the Chargers. That way, when they actually fall ass backwards into somehow winning a game, I’ll have double satisfaction that weekend; a win and a cover. Even if they lose the actual game but cover that +11 spread, it’ll still be a win for me and I won’t get that “fuck everything I want to jump off a bridge” feeling on Mondays. It’s possibly the best attempt to find some happiness in this Season of Nothingness.

Is this a smart and sound betting strategy? Nope. It’s all emotional and zero mental. In reality, the Browns will probably go 6-9-1 against the spread this year and I’ll lose hundreds of dollars… but those 6 wins will be so so sweet.

money burn cash burning shovel

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Browns season record against the spread the past 4 years:

  • 2012:  8-7-1
  • 2013: 6-10
  • 2014: 9-5-2
  • 2015: 5-10-1
  • 4 year total: 28-32-4

Not the best history but then again no team has ever come back from a 3-1 NBA Finals deficit so maybe things will fall into place.

GIVE ME THE BROWNS +7 OR GIVE ME DEATH

mccownwitness

 

Morning Mishmash

Mishmash- Car hits 3 cops on purpose; Steph endorses Hillary; Browns are 27th most valuable NFL franchise; Dicking bimbos

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Cleveland pic of the day

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3 police officers were intentionally hit by a car in Arizona

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Some idiot girl in Australia is suing her parents because they posted childhood pictures of her on Facebook and she was embarrassed

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John Harbaugh swears that his brother Jim has never eaten a booger (cleveland.com)

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Colin Powell said Bill Clinton is still “dicking bimbos”

https://twitter.com/willrahn/status/776100071658098688

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According to Forbes, the Browns are the 27th most valuable franchise

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A couple of moms got in trouble for smoking a celebratory joint in their car after dropping their kids off at their first day of school

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Steph Curry is endorsing Hillary Clinton. Not good for Hillary. (Ayesha definitely tells him who he’s voting for)

Indians

Brandon Guyer is actually starting to scare me

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Getting hit with a baseball sucks.

It’s a piece of cork/rubber wrapped in yarn. It weighs five ounces. And when someone throws it as hard as they can and it hits you flush, it hurts.

From a 2012 Tim Kurkjian article about what it feels like to get hit by a major league pitcher:

The pain is excruciating. “Anyone who says it doesn’t hurt is insane,” [Tigers outfielder Brennan] Boesch said. “It hurts, but adrenaline helps. The game is on national TV. Everyone sees you. Don’t show it.”

[Angels outfielder Torii Hunter] “If it’s going to hit you in the knee, you turn so it hits you in the back of the leg. It’s amazing how quickly the human body can move when you’re trying to avoid something hitting you. You have to know your soft spots.”

“If it’s going to hit you in the knee, you turn so it hits you in the back of the leg.”

Hm.

More from Kurkjian:

The Braves’ Eric Hinske said, “Sidney Ponson hit me on the inside of the knee with a 95 [mph fastball]. I thought I had been shot with a gun. I went down like a sack of potatoes. But I stayed in the game. You wrap it up and keep playing. The lump on my shin was there at least a month.”

“That’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt on a baseball field,” LaRoche said. (after taking one to the back of the knee.)  “The ball hit me so hard, it bounced halfway back to the pitcher’s mound. I went straight to the ground after that one. When I got back up, I had to take a knee. I was just trying not to throw up.“

The pitch from White Sox starter Jose Quintana that hit Guyer last night was a little over 93 MPH. The ball came off his knee at around a Josh Tomlin change up.

Watch the vine and cover up his lower half with your finger. Looks like the most nonchalant ball 4 of all time. Someone probably had to tell him he’d actually been hit.

Guyer now leads all of MLB in hit by pitches with 30. That’s eight more than the guy in second place (St. Ignatius product Derek Dietrich), or the same number that separates numbers 2 and 7 on the leader board.

The Oakland Athletics have 32 as a team.

Hughie Jennings holds the single season record with 51 in 1896 but there have been just five players to record more than 30 in a single season since 1900.

He also eats crickets.

 

KEEP THE CHIEF

Cleveland