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Browns

Browns v Colts Monday Game Tape. Sigh.

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Shit.

Abandon

Welp.

Quick one this week because every time I think of yesterday’s game my heart hurts and I get physically ill.

Let’s look at the game tape

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The day started out with so much promise. The D was flying around like their hair was on fire.

Luck responded

The crow flew home to the Dawg Pound

Brian Hoyer overthrew a streaking Josh Gordon by a mile and Johnny was shown on the sidelines mouthing “I would have fucking hit him.” Maybe. Probably not.

Justin Gilbert finally showed up in a big way with a pick 6

Paul Kruger pushed Andrew Luck with his arms and got called for a personal foul? Bullshit call. Uh, sorry he’s stronger than you?

Even though he got called for a foul, his symphony celebration was gold

Sigh.

Sure this kid may be a douche. But I laughed.

Couple quick thoughts:

– First of all… Fuck.

– Why didn’t this whole notion of Gordon being “out of shape” come up after the Atlanta game?

– And why don’t we try those quick hitters to Gordon more often? We tried one on the first drive and gained an easy 9 yards. When you have a horse, you ride it.

– Craig Robertson- Man’s game.

-Cut Billy Cundiff right now. He’s a liability. Can’t afford to not get three points when you have a struggling offense.

-Kickoff and Punt team were an  A+++

– Anyone else see Mingo making actual plays? Let’s hope that continues.

– I wanted Hoyer to start the whole season, that quickly changed with the past 4 games. If they get something, anything, from the QB position yesterday, the Browns win that game. It’s time for #2.

Browns

Johnny Manziel mouthed the words “I would’ve f*cking hit him” after Hoyer had his 19th overthrow of the game

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I’m no lip reader but the fine inhabitants all over the great Internet seem to be sure that Johnny Manziel 100% mouthed the words “I would’ve fucking hit him” in reference to Brian Hoyer overthrowing Josh Gordon for a sure touchdown.

I think he’s saying “I have no fucking idea” more than “I would’ve fucking hit him”

I’m sure every esteemed member in Cleveland sports media will pull the ol’ “Johnny should be a better teammate, he shouldn’t be mouthing swear words on the sidelines. Grow up. How dare him?!”

Do you really disagree with Johnny here? I’m a former very average high school quarterback, I would’ve fucking hit him too. If you were keeping score at home, that was Hoyer’s second deep pass that he overthrew that would have been a guaranteed six points. Can’t miss opportunities like that in the NFL if you’re a starting quarterback.

The Hoyer experiment is officially over, it’s time for the rook to get us back into this thing. Hopefully it’s not too late.

PS- 100% of all the lip readings of NFL players and coaches are always right

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GIFs via The Big Lead comment section

Browns

Browns v Bills Monday Game Tape

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Sigh.

Let’s look at the game tape.

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Before the game things got so so weird at some Browns fans’ tailgate

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And there were Bills fans dressed up as large mammals

Cool scene here as Jim Kelly greeted the Bills on the field wearing a Darryl Talley jersey

(Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports)

The first half was gross. Nothing worthwhile happened in the first half aside from a Billy Cundiff field and a Billy Cundiff missed field goal. The only thing I pray is that a game down the road doesn’t rest on Billy’s right leg. I have more confidence in Phil Taylor kicking field goals right now and Phil Taylor is in a wheelchair.

The third quarter…. oh, the third quarter. This is where things started getting bad.

It started off well when Haden put another interception notch on his belt. But then a couple bad plays and a Hoyer sack gave the ball right back to the Bills and we weren’t able to capitalize on it…

Right after the Bills scored their first TD, things went from 0-100 real quick and Terrance West fumbled; Jerry Hughes picked it up; and the Bills sealed the game. Turning point right here.

Hoyer’s day ended after he threw his second interception of the day. Insert some guy named Johnny.

Johnny hit Josh Gordon over the middle for a nice gain

https://twitter.com/Coll_Crowley/status/539157952041451521

A couple plays later he did this

If you wanna win, let Johnny spin

https://twitter.com/Coll_Crowley/status/539160136690847745

Which left all of the households in Cleveland with a pretty hefty cleaning bill

Sidenote: I ripped my pants after he scored. Literally. My pants got ripped after Johnny Manziel scored his first NFL touchdown.

And then Will Burge constructed the tweet of the year calling out the hypocrisy of all the JFF detractors

https://twitter.com/WillBurge/status/539159787548966913

My old college roommate and Bottlegate contributor locked eyes with Johnny as he celebrated (that’s him to the left of Johnny’s helmet) #BottlegateWorldwide?

On Johnny’s second drive, he got an early snap, tried to pick the ball up and throw it and was promptly decapitated and killed.

And the internet did internet things and Johnny was immortalized into a meme

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https://twitter.com/WorldofIsaac/status/539164985084370944

Meet Bottlegate’s new #1 enemy

The game ended and Kyle Orton decided to throw in a dip on the sidelines. This vine we posted went viral and broke the internet, NBD

Couple quick thoughts:

What was up with Joe Thomas? 3 holding calls? Could have been called for a lot more too.

How late is too late when it comes to signing a new kicker? I don’t trust Billy Cundiff over 35 yards.

Hoyer and Gordon weren’t on the same page all game. I don’t know whose fault that is but apparently the coaches thought it was Brian’s.

I like Brian Hoyer, I really do… But 9 interceptions and 4 touchdowns since the Steelers win isn’t going to cut it. If Hoyer didn’t have the whole “hometown kid” thing going on, I think there’d be a unanimous clamoring for Manziel.

Speaking of Manziel, that was fun, wasn’t it? There’s just a certain excitement when he takes a snap. I wasn’t crazy about him being inserted vs. that defensive front but he looked pretty comfortable directing the offense (sidenote: Merrill Hoge is a jackass). If the Browns hand the reigns to Johnny, I think I’m comfortable with it. We need to get something out of the QB.

I thought the defense played their asses off. Buffalo’s longest run from scrimmage was 8 yards. You’d think that’d be enough to win a game.

Jim Leonhard impressed me. He played solid just as he was expected to do. He’s a “pro’s pro”

How about Joe Haden? Interceptions in 3 straight games; a blocked field goal in this one; and he held Sammy Watkins to 14 yards receiving. Joe is playing at a Pro Bowl level.

Speaking of Pro Bowl, does anyone really stand out as a lock to make the Pro Bowl besides Joe Thomas? If he wasn’t injured I’d say Tashaun Gipson. Joel Bitonio? Haden?

Gotta be encouraged by the youth of our playermakers on offense- Manziel, Crowell, West, Gordon, Gabriel. The future seems bright.

I wish Marqueis Gray was still on the Browns.

At least most of the other AFC North teams lost?

Random thought but I question the decision to run a screen with Jim Dray. I know we gained positive yardage but why not try that with one of our backs or Andrew Hawkins?

I miss you, Jordan.

PS- if you needed to feel worse about the loss, this is the quarterback that beat us.

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