This is the Isaiah Crowell hype video we deserve and the one we need.
First off, this music BANGS. I’m not lying when I say that was the most entertaining player highlight video I’ve ever seen. I literally jumped out of my seat when I read “Throw Dem Pizza Lunchables on the Field!”
I don’t even know what that means but you can bet your ass I’m gonna be yelling it all day Sunday in the Muni Lot and inside the stadium. There’s just so many one liners here that can be used in everyday life. Someone cuts you off in traffic? “Take a ride in the slam sedan….BITCH!” At the gas station and see some guy wearing jorts? #SoNotCrow!
Isaiah Crowell is quickly becoming the new cult favorite Cleveland athlete and I’m A OK with that. All aboard the Tha Crow bandwagon!
#SoFuckinCrow
UPDATE: The music is actually Raven’s (the wrestler) entrance theme
Frustrating game to say the least. But damn, it was kind of fun, right? How many other Browns teams would have just packed it up when down 27-3 at half? No Josh Gordon, Ben Tate out for the game, Jordan Cameron out for the game and yet you score 24 second half points on the road vs. the “vaunted” Steeler defense. Obviously not the outcome everyone wanted, but it’s something to build on. Let’s look at the tape.
Copycat Steelers fans with the ol “hang the quarterback with a noose”
But we already did this. And did it way better.
This guy does not like the Browns 1st half effort or Mike Pettine
We watched a football game and a karate match broke out
So disrespectful.
And then the internet did internet things
Thankfully Spencer had a sense of humor about the whole thing
In all I thought the line played pretty well. They gave Hoyer time and we were able to run the ball at will in the second half. They gave up a VERY untimely sack on the Browns last drive though.
Brett Keisel’s whole “I have a long beard hehehe” thing is so played out. Get a new shtick you Brian Wilson wannabe.
I loved what I saw out of all 3 of our running backs
And my all time favorite running back agrees with me
Game balls- Paul Kruger, Karlos Dansby, every running back, Andrew Hawkins, Brian Hoyer
Even in the loss there’s a lot to be optimistic about. Will the first half Browns show up or will the second half Browns show up vs New Orleans? The saints are coming off an OT loss to the Falcons and it’s going to be tough to think New Orleans starts the season 0-2.
Odds to win the Super Bowl: 70/1. Throw 10 bucks on it and hope for a God damn miracle.
Odds to win the AFC Championship: 45/1. Hey, at least we’re not last. Oakland is at 100/1 and Jacksonville is at 125/1.
Win Total: Over/Under: 6.5. For me this whole bet hinges on if Josh Gordon’s suspension is lifted or not. If Gordon doesn’t see the field this season I’m betting the Under. If Gordon suits up, I think everything with the Browns changes drastically and I HAMMER the over.
Against the spread in 2013 the Browns were a pretty bad 6-10. 3-5 at home and 3-5 away. 9 of their games went Over and 7 went Under. 5 home games went over and 3 games went under. They were 4-4 on Over/Unders on the road.
Proposition Bet
Yes
No
Johnny Manziel wins MVP
75/1
Manziel leads NFL in passing
150/1
Manziel wins Off. ROY
14/1
Justin Gilbert wins Def. ROY
25/1
Manziel is fined in regular season
+200
-300
Manziel wins ROY and makes the playoffs
+2000
The only prop bet here worth looking at is Manziel getting fined in the regular season. I could see his uniform not being up to code or him getting a penalty for taunting after doing the Money sign in some chump defender’s ugly face.
Proposition Bet
O/U
Ben Tate – Total Rushing Yards
800.5
Ben Tate – Total Touchdowns
6.5
Jordan Cameron – Total Receiving TDs
6
Jordan Cameron – Total Rec Yards
850.5
Paul Kruger – Total Sacks
6
Joe Haden – Total Interceptions
3.5
Ben Tate total rushing yards- WAYY OVER. Lock of the year… Ben Tate has never had more than 4 touchdowns in a season, so I wouldn’t touch that. I like Jordan Cameron OVER 850 total yards (that’s only 53 yards a game) and like Joe Haden OVER 3.5 interceptions.\
SEASON OUTLOOK
Cleveland has the 7th easiest schedule according to opponents winning percentage. I expect the Browns to surprise this year. IF Josh Gordon gets his suspension lifted, this team is loaded with legitimate NFL talent. Shit, we have 5 pro bowlers returning this season. This isn’t the same 4-12 Browns. In my heart I truly believe the Browns surprise people this year.
In the NFL, games can go either way, so many games are decided by one play here and there or by a field goal as time expires. For once in my lifetime why can’t the Browns be on the winning side of these games? Well this year they will be. I don’t know if it’s the hype videos talking or what but I think the Browns will have a successful season. How “successful” is defined, I don’t know. A lot of the games won’t be pretty. Defensive battles till the final whistle, games of field goals and field position, 3 and outs galore. But I’m calling it. This year the ball bounces in the Browns favor more than it doesn’t. If the Browns can make it through their first 3 games without going 0-3, there should be real optimism for this team. They don’t have a hard schedule and the AFC North is actually pretty average. If EVERYTHING goes right and players play up to their potential, I see the Browns sticking around till the end. I don’t think this team is a 4-12 or 5-11 team of old.
My Prediction: Browns finish 8-8 and are one of the teams ESPN labels as “In the hunt” till the final week or so of the regular season.
But in typical Cleveland fashion, everything can go to shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if 10 starters simultaneously blew out their ACLs on the same play, Swagger gets loose and bites Mike Pettine in the dick, and First Energy Stadium spontaneously combusts. Only in Cleveland.
Bottlegate 