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Part 3 of Bottlegate’s 2014 Cleveland Browns Season Preview

September 7, 2014 Mike Leave a comment

Browns Betting Guide

Odds to win the Super Bowl: 70/1. Throw 10 bucks on it and hope for a God damn miracle.

Odds to win the AFC Championship: 45/1. Hey, at least we’re not last. Oakland is at 100/1 and Jacksonville is at 125/1.

Win Total: Over/Under: 6.5. For me this whole bet hinges on if Josh Gordon’s suspension is lifted or not. If Gordon doesn’t see the field this season I’m betting the Under. If Gordon suits up, I think everything with the Browns changes drastically and I HAMMER the over.

Against the spread in 2013 the Browns were a pretty bad 6-10. 3-5 at home and 3-5 away. 9 of their games went Over and 7 went Under. 5 home games went over and 3 games went under. They were 4-4 on Over/Unders on the road.

Proposition Bet	Yes	No
Johnny Manziel wins MVP	75/1
Manziel leads NFL in passing	150/1
Manziel wins Off. ROY	14/1
Justin Gilbert wins Def. ROY	25/1
Manziel is fined in regular season	+200	-300
Manziel wins ROY and makes the playoffs	+2000

The only prop bet here worth looking at is Manziel getting fined in the regular season. I could see his uniform not being up to code or him getting a penalty for taunting after doing the Money sign in some chump defender’s ugly face.

Proposition Bet	O/U
Ben Tate – Total Rushing Yards	800.5
Ben Tate – Total Touchdowns	6.5
Jordan Cameron – Total Receiving TDs	6
Jordan Cameron – Total Rec Yards	850.5
Paul Kruger – Total Sacks	6
Joe Haden – Total Interceptions	3.5

Ben Tate total rushing yards- WAYY OVER. Lock of the year… Ben Tate has never had more than 4 touchdowns in a season, so I wouldn’t touch that. I like Jordan Cameron OVER 850 total yards (that’s only 53 yards a game) and like Joe Haden OVER 3.5 interceptions.\

SEASON OUTLOOK

Cleveland has the 7th easiest schedule according to opponents winning percentage. I expect the Browns to surprise this year. IF Josh Gordon gets his suspension lifted, this team is loaded with legitimate NFL talent. Shit, we have 5 pro bowlers returning this season. This isn’t the same 4-12 Browns. In my heart I truly believe the Browns surprise people this year.

In the NFL, games can go either way, so many games are decided by one play here and there or by a field goal as time expires. For once in my lifetime why can’t the Browns be on the winning side of these games? Well this year they will be. I don’t know if it’s the hype videos talking or what but I think the Browns will have a successful season. How “successful” is defined, I don’t know. A lot of the games won’t be pretty. Defensive battles till the final whistle, games of field goals and field position, 3 and outs galore. But I’m calling it. This year the ball bounces in the Browns favor more than it doesn’t. If the Browns can make it through their first 3 games without going 0-3, there should be real optimism for this team. They don’t have a hard schedule and the AFC North is actually pretty average. If EVERYTHING goes right and players play up to their potential, I see the Browns sticking around till the end. I don’t think this team is a 4-12 or 5-11 team of old.

My Prediction: Browns finish 8-8 and are one of the teams ESPN labels as “In the hunt” till the final week or so of the regular season.

But in typical Cleveland fashion, everything can go to shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if 10 starters simultaneously blew out their ACLs on the same play, Swagger gets loose and bites Mike Pettine in the dick, and First Energy Stadium spontaneously combusts. Only in Cleveland.

Browns 17

Pittsburgh 14

Browns

Pt 2 of Bottlegate’s 2014 Cleveland Browns Season Preview- Awards and Superlatives

September 6, 2014 Mike 1 Comment

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the “Brownies”, get it? Kinda like “Grammys.” Ha! …Please dont X out.

Now introducing your 2014 winners.

PRESEASON AWARDS AND HONORS

Most improved (defense)– Armonty Bryant and Barkevious Mingo. If preseason was any sort of indication, these two 2013 picks are poised for breakout seasons. I truly belive that both of them will end up with double digit sack totals.

Most Improved (offense)– Jordan Cameron. “Wait but Mike, wasn’t Jordan Cameron a pro bowler last year?” Yes. He was. But the first couple of weeks he went bananas and surprised all of us. The combination of defenses recognizing his ability and soul-less Brandon Weeden throwing him the ball hindered the second part of his season. Expect Jordan to put together a strong, full season.

Most underrated (defense)– Karlos Dansby. The self proclaimed “best linebacker in the NFL” is going to have to step up big if this defensive unit wants to be one of the best in the league. Dansby is the anchor of the front seven. He may not blow you away with his stats, but the defense runs through him.

Most underrated (offense)– Joel Bitonio. Bitonio was drafted to fill the void of the left guard spot. He is the missing link that will allow the left side of the offensive line to be one of this team’s strengths.

Defensive Player of the Year– Joe Haden. After Josh Gordon, Joe Haden is the most talented player on the team. He’ll earn that big contact this year and expect him to be back in the pro bowl.

Offensive Player of the Year– Ben Tate. With a decimated receiving corps, look for the Browns to run. A lot. This means carry after carry for Ben Tate who has looked the part of a #1 back during the preseason. He’s the workhorse back that thrives in Kyle Shanahan’s offense.

MVP (Excluding Joe Thomas)– Ben Tate. If this team has ANY chance of winning, it will have to depend on Tate. Barring injury, Tate has a big year and is the best running back the Browns have trotted out since 1999.

PRESEASON SUPERLATIVES

Player most likely to get thrown out of a game for fighting:

Winner: Phil Taylor. RIP to the other guy.

Player most likely to pass out because he was too hyped up for player introductions

Winner: Joe Haden. Plays with the most emotion and passion on the team. I’m legit worried he’ll get dizzy running out of the tunnel vs. the Saints.

Player most likely to singlehandedly cost us a game (besides quarterbacks)

Winner: Mitchell Schwartz. OLE!

First player to jump into the Dawg Pound

Winner: Ben Tate

Class Clown

Winner: Alex Mack. No rhyme or reason to this one, he just seems like the type of goofball to pull pranks on rookies or rub Icy Hot in a teammates jock strap.

First player to hit the Shmoney Dance

Winner: Terrance West

Player most likely to be fined for an illegal hit on defense

Winner: Donte Whitner. No brainer here. He might actually be trying to murder Antonio Brown the first game.

Best Hair

Winner: Travis Benjamin. Just fantastic lettuce.

Best Looking

Winner: Jordan Cameron. Best looking guy in the league bar none. Expect a future Bottlegate post expressing my man crush on him.

Most exciting player

Winner: Johnny Manziel. The only thing more electric than his play on the field is when him and I became best friends for life at the Barley House.

If anyone was wondering, I just brushed shoulders with @JManziel2 at Barley House. Couldnt react though, had to act like I'd been there b4.

— Bottlegate Mike (@MikeRJohanns) August 31, 2014

Fan of the year

Winner: Pumpkinhead. This dude eats, sleeps, and breathes Cleveland Browns football. Love him. Anyone who can remain this optimistic after all the shit sandwiches Browns fans have eaten over the years deserves a freaking Nobel Peace Prize.

This guy below was runner up

Most likely to shit on the field

Winner: Swagger.

Runner-Up: Alex Mack. I don’t know, he’s the class clown and just kinda reminds me of a guy who would poop on the field and find it hilarious. I like those types of guys. You win with those guys.

And those are your winners, folks. Check back tomorrow for the Bottlegate Browns Preview Part 3- Gambling and Season Predictions.

You can view Part 1 HERE

Browns, Cleveland

Part 1 of Bottlegate’s 2014 Cleveland Browns Preview

September 5, 2014 Mike Leave a comment

It’s football time again in Northeast Ohio. The best time of the year. There’s no better feeling than waking up Sunday morning a little hungover and knowing your next 14 hours will be consumed by NFL Football. If you’re lucky enough to be tailgating in the Muni Lot, you live for Sunday home games. Waking up at 5 AM and making your way down Rt. 2 to the Shoreway is your Super Bowl. Your mindset is completely different during football season. For me I need to consume everything in my path whether it be beer, pizza, chicken wings, or Fireball. That’s why there’s always the inevitable 10-12 pound weight gain you’ll see from the months of September to January. But thats OK though, you’ll need that extra flub to handle the cold when tailgating right next to Lake Erie. If you think about it, it’s actually just a safety precaution. You(I) need that added insulation and warmth so you don’t catch a cold (is what I tell myself).

I for one am ecstatic that the offseason is coming to an end. No more training camp QB battles, no more reports of players innocently going to Vegas to enjoy their offseason, no more reports of owners going to prison, no more debate over suspensions because of secondhand smoke, no more radio and TV guys dropping hot take after hot in regards to your rookie quarterback. No more bullshit, no more draft talk, no more wondering about players on the bubble of making the team. It’s the first game of the year vs. your “rival.” It’s time to nut up or shut up.

The Browns enter the 2014 season amid a rocky (understatement) offseason and training camp. With the exhaustive coverage given to Johnny Manziel’s excursions, the Josh Gordon suspension (IF the suspension holds up), the inability to score touchdowns in preseason, and the subpar defensive showings; this season is full of uncertainty but also tons of enthusiasm and optimism. In the first post of this inaugural Bottlegate Season Preview, I’l give you an abridged roster breakdown. Parts 2 and 3 deal with preseason superlatives and awards, predictions, and gambling advice. You won’t find a preview like this anywhere else, I can promise you that.

The road to the Vince Lombardi Trophy starts now.

There weren’t a lot of hype videos to choose from. Be better, Cleveland.

OFFSEASON MOVES

ADDITIONS- The team added RB Ben Tate, WR Andrew Hawkins, WR Miles Austin, and S Donte Whitner. They took CB Justin Gilbert, QB Johnny Manziel, OL Joel Bitonio, LB Chris Kirksey, RB Terrance West, and CB Pierre Desir in the NFL Draft.

LOSSES- QB Brandon Weeden, QB Jason Campbell, WR Davone Bess, G Shawn Lauvao, G Oniel Cousins, ILB D’Qwell Jackson, CB Chris Owens and S T.J. Ward… and maybe Josh Gordon.

ROSTER BREAKDOWN

I’m not going to bore you with positional breakdowns and analysis but a couple things stood out to me when this was released Tuesday.

It’s the most Browns thing ever to release a depth chart and have a player who’s not on the team anymore as your 3rd running back (Dion Lewis) Whoops!
I had no idea Justin Gilbert was the backup kick returner. I wonder if they’ll play him on the kickoff and punt teams too
There’s only 2 players left from our 2013 draft. A first round pick (Mingo) and a 7th round pick (A. Bryant). Thanks Mike and Joe!
I’m not looking forward to our 4 wide receiver set when it’s 3rd and 23 vs Pittsburgh. Yikes. Nate Burleson would’ve absolutely helped out this receiver group.
How is Chris Kirksey going to back up Craig Robertson when he’s only 1 foot tall ?
When Desmond Bryant gets healthy, I LOVE our ability to rotate on the defensive line
Travis Benjamin is our highest drafted Wide Receiver… He was drafted in the FOURTH round.
After his breakout preseaon game, I’m intrigued to see if Isaiah Crowell sees the field at all.
Will Johnny have his own special package? And will it be that Wildcat bullshit or real offensive play calls?

Stay tuned. Part 2 of the Bottlegate preview drops Saturday and will have preseason awards and superlatives. Gambling and Season Predictions will be in Part 3 on Sunday.