Dude. Shut up. Enough with all the scorned ex-girlfriend shit that Chris Bosh seems to be throwing around lately. LeBron left because your team blows, Dwyane Wade has glass ligaments in his legs, your fanbase all look like Stitches, and your coach looks like a 20 year old college student studying Security Valuations. Get over it. Kevin Love is 20x the player you’ll ever be. Now will there be growing pains for every player on the team? Yes, undoubtedly. That’s what happens when you assemble a whole new roster in the offseason. There’s going to be games lost that they should have won. Hell, there might even be a 4 or 5 game losing streak in there. It’s expected.
Related:
If anything Chris Bosh should be kissing the floor LeBron walks on. How’s that new max deal for you, Chris? You think you get that if LeBron stays? Shut up you Reptar lookalike and be thankful.
Love it. I’m sure there’ll be some talk radio snobs looking into this way too much tomorrow and saying “I don’t like the message Kevin Love is sending to the rest of the NBA by smoking a cigar BEFORE the season.” But not me. He’s on a team vacation to Brazil. Let him kick back with his teammates and enjoy a nice Cohiba on the beach while checking out some well sculpted Brazilian bums as they strut on by.
Kyrie Irving (2x all star, All star MVP, FIBA world championship MVP)
Dion Waiters (4th pick in 2012 NBA draft)
Kevin Love (too many accolades to list. really really good)
Anderson Varejao (one of 2 players from the 08-09 team)
Mike Miller (deadly 3 point shooter)
Brendan Haywood (serviceable big man)
LeBron James (has blossomed into an above average player)
James Jones (3 point champ in 2011)
Joe Harris (good looking white rookie from Virginia)
Matthew Dellavedova (Aussie hustle)
Shawn Marion (4x NBA all star)
Tristan Thompson (selected 4th in 2011 NBA draft)
Ray Allen (soon)
Incredible. The fact that the 2008-2009 team went 66-16 may be the biggest miracle in sports history. Look at that squad! Compare the two rosters and it’s honestly hard to see the Cavs finishing below 70 wins this season. Vegas has the OVER/UNDER on Cavs wins this season set at 58.5. Here’s a little Bottlegate advice for you- HAMMER the over and thank me later while we’re Scrooge McDucking into our riches.
PS- The second all of our posts go live, they’re posted HERE. We’re fun I swear.
PPS- If someone doesn’t buy me this Kevin Love shirt, then I have lost faith in all of our readers
PPPS- Hi new readers, welcome to Bottlegate. Can I get you something to drink? Take your shoes off, stay awhile and explore the site.
Bottlegate 