From Cleveland.com:

“The woman parked her van in a lot on the 4000 block of Turney Road and returned with her 11-year-old son about 8 p.m. Oct. 11.

She opened the sliding door and a teenage boy wearing all black jumped out of the van, punched her in the stomach and then ran away.”

Yes, I kept the headline from cleveland.com because it made me laugh out loud.

And you’re all free to make your own decisions, but I’m probably avoiding the 4000 block of Turney Road for the time being. Two weeks ago a sweet 16 birthday party ended in pepper spray and looting. Now they have kids in all black hiding in cars and punching people in the stomach. In my head they’re like their own state, governing among themselves and following their own laws. Everybody else stays out and lets them do their thing. The 4000 block of Turney Road is pretty much the Vatican. Except they have no laws and don’t govern shit.

PS This had to be a dare or an initiation to the least violent gang of all time, right? Jumping out of the van and punching a lady in the stomach is much more like “Haha I hid in your car and scared you and your kid you stupid idiot” than “I’m hiding in your van because I’m going to fucking murder you.” Basically glorified flirting.

PPS I don’t give a shit how many times I get made fun of, THAT is why you always check your car for strangers in the back seat before getting in. And you’re goddamn right I check behind the shower curtain before going to the bathroom too.