So Jimmy Fallon did this last week:

To save you 3 minutes I’ll sum it up for you: A bunch of cute, slobbering, naive, dumb, young puppies incorrectly picked a food dish to eat their dinner out of. Ho hum how cute blah blah blah. How Jimmy can even leave such a monumental decision in the paws of some dumb young pups is beyond me. That’s like having a bunch of Kindergartners decide Roe V. Wade. They’re just not mentally and emotionally cut out to make that kind of decision.

What you need is a regal, sophisticated, classy, intelligent animal to make these kinds of decisions. Someone who is colorblind (literally) to school colors and preconceived notions. And that someone is this: