This Week In Cleveland Craigslist Missed Connections

After a 12 day hiatus we’re back with a vengeance this week with our Cleveland Craiglist Missed Connections weekly feature. Searching the depths of Craigslist to bring you the finest missed connections postings from the finest Northeast Ohioans on the Internet. Some posts are looking for love, some are looking to hook up, none of them will work.

Let’s go

Continuing our theme of “gas station or convenience store postings.” I’ll tell ya, these NE Ohio gas stations must be a breeding place for love or something because after sifting through these posts I’d say about 40% of these occur in line at a gas station.

BRO. You’re posting about something from several YEARS ago?? Do you know how unlikely it is for someone to search Craigslist and make a connection with someone they saw an hour ago? But you think the random girl at Barley House (I think) will somehow remember that she smiled at you in 2012?!? This one has to be fake. I cannot believe someone as stupid as this exists.

Haha. Dork. Take your poetry somewhere else you weirdo.

Could this guy be any more clueless? Here, let this Family Guy clip break it down for you:

I don’t know what you guys were talking about in regards to Playboy but I’d sure like to get your thoughts on their decision to stop showing nudity.

“Would definitely kiss you.” Uh, thanks?

“Hey you’re a fucking awful at playing the instrument that you probably spend hours upon hours practicing and devoting your life to… wanna go on a date?”

MORE GAS STATIONS. Love this dude just casually slipping in “import sports car.” Hey, if I had an import sports car and didn’t drive a POS with no air conditioning and a radio that doesn’t get FM channels, I’d reference “my import sports car” so much it’d make your head spin.

“Just the right amount of junk in the trunk.” Sure dude, let’s traumatize your kids once they find their dad hooking up with their teammate’s mom in the soccer field bathrooms.