Here I am, sitting in my living room in my fake Danny Shelton jersey from AliExpress, sulking about our alcoholic third-string quarterback and dreading heading downtown to attend this joke of a Monday Night Football game in a couple hours. I fire Twitter up to see what delusionally positive posts the Browns have put up on social media, only to see this.
Thank you, Melissa and Randy. Thank you. You just turned my Monday right the heck around.
This is what it’s all about right here folks. Marrying the love of your life in a parking lot surrounded by friends, family, and strangers waiting in line for porta potties. I know there’s nowhere else I’d rather do it. Is there any better metaphor for marriage than being a Browns fan? Through the ups and downs, thick and thin, in sickness and in health, you stick with both.
So congratulations to Melissa and Randy, the one positive thing that’s come out of the 2015 Cleveland Browns season. May you #ContinueOnThisJourneyTogetherLikeABrown.