MMDB: Terrelle Pryor Is Awesome, Cody Parkey Stinks, And We’re 0-3

Monday Morning Disappointment Blog

It was bad but it wasn’t that bad and I don’t feel bad.

The Browns outplayed, outcoached, and outclassed the Dolphins yesterday but unfortunately, they also out-Brownsed them as well. Three missed field goals, crucial penalties, a right tackle who got called for about 600 penalties. Hell, man. This should have been our first win of the year but instead it’s our third loss.

Cody Kessler looked like he could play a little bit and Terrelle Fucking Pryor literally did everything he could to try and help his team win. Obviously it’s not showing in the win column but this young team is making strides each week. I’m confident that things are going in the right direction.

Let’s look at some game tape

The Browns started the game off by getting a delay of game penalty because they lined up in this formation and couldn’t shift before the play clock hit zero. Yeah that’s Joe Thomas as a wideout.


This guy got burned by DeVante Parker for the Dolphins first touchdown

But then we found out who Briean Boddy-Calhoun was when he intercepted Ryan Tannehill and pick sixed it to the house

and approximately 600 people responded to my above tweet saying “he’s the guy who just scored a touchdown”


Terrelle Pryor literally did everything. He threw passes, he caught passes, he ran for touchdowns. It was pretty awesome.


The Browns allowed Jarvis Landy to get loose and he celebrated a TD by breaking his nuts on the goalpost


This was one of the more depressing pics of the game. #SlingGang for life



The Browns forced a Ryan Tannehill fumble, got the ball in Dolphins territory, and lined up for the game winning kick…

annnnnd Cody Parkey missed his 3rd field goal of the game, leaving 9 points on the board.

The Browns would lose in overtime and fall to 0-3.



13 Things I Believe I Believe About The Browns

  1. Sign Terrelle Pryor to an extension right now. I’ve seen enough and it’s not like the Browns don’t have the space.
  2. Cut this kicker (I refuse to type his name) and sign someone who can make 50% of his 40 yarders. Hell, go down the road to St. Ignatius and borrow one from Chuck Kyle, he can’t be any worse.
  3. I can’t help thinking about what a receiving corps of Pryor, Gordon, and Coleman would look like. Let’s hope we see it sometime this season.
  4. Ryan Tannehill sucks. This might be a hot take but I’d rather have the Browns QB situation than the Dolphins situation. The Phins are going nowhere with Tannehill under center and signed him to a 6 year $95 million extension last season. He’s really just not a good quarterback.
  5. Cody got the shit kicked out of him yesterday but it’s nice to wake up on a Monday morning and know that your starting quarterback isn’t out for an extended period of time.
  6. If we see a Terrelle Pryor to Josh Gordon touchdown pass in a few weeks my head may just explode.
  7. I cannot overstate how dumb the Browns first play of the game was where they got the Delay of Game. Rookie quarterback on the road in his first NFL start and the first play of the game you line up in the Oopty Oop formation? Hated this so much. Let the rook get a little comfortable before we do the crazy formations. This is probably my biggest gripe with Hue to be honest.
  8. Shelton has been a pretty big bright spot on the defense. It’s not going to show up in the stats (he didn’t register a tackle) but I like his disruptiveness.
  9. Thought Kessler played pretty well all things considered. 21/33 for 244 yards with no touchdowns and no picks.
  10. I wish Hue would have rode the running game a little bit more. Thought he got away from the run when it seemed like Crow and Duke were averaging about 5 yards every carry in the second half.
  11. Grossi said on yesterday’s postgame show that the Browns coaching staff wanted to sign Robbie Gould but the front office decided he was too expensive so the Browns signed Cody Parkey instead. If we sign Robbie Gould, we win that game.
  12. Don’t know why Cody Kessler is coming to the line with like 9-10 seconds on the play clock before every play. Gotta get that cleaned up.
  13. If you told me at the beginning of the season that “I wish every Browns player had Terrelle Pryor’s attitude” I would have thought your were clinically insane. After three games in and hearing TP talk, I wish every player had Terrelle Pryor’s attitude.




Offensive Player of the week

Terrelle Pryor

Defensive player of the week

The Cornerback who had that pick six who I didn’t know existed until yesterday


Around the NFL

-I think the most impressive start for a team so far is the Minnesota Vikings. 3-0 without their franchise QB with wins over the Packers and Panthers. Very impressive start in Minnesota

-Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott are looking pretty solid in Dallas right now.

-Can we please not do the thing where we freak out about not drafting Carson Wentz after every Eagles game where he plays well? I can’t do this after every game.

-I think I’m coming around to the theory that all of the teams in the NFL are trash except for like 4 teams. We all praise the NFL for its parity when in reality there’s only about 4 teams that are legitimately in play to win a Super Bowl every season.

-It looks like Denver found a talented QB who can throw up 300 yards if need be. They definitely didn’t have one last year.

-The Bears may be the worst team in the league. I’ll cry if the Bears finish with a worse record than the Browns because Chicago will for sure take a QB with their first pick.

-My Jaguars have been a big disappointment this season. Blake, wyd.

-Browns are 2-1 against the spread this season. Y’all need to join me and bet on the Browns to cover in each game they play. It’s exhilarating and makes 4th quarters interesting when they usually wouldn’t be. Plus it’s basically free money. I’m thinking the line next weekend against the Redskins will be around +5/+5.5 and I’m HAMMERING the Browns. Let’s get rich. 


0-3 on to Washington

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s