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Browns luck out, finally get DL Dylan Sutcliffe to put pen to paper

June 3, 2015 Ai Leave a comment

“BEREA, Ohio – The Cleveland Browns on Tuesday signed 9-year old Dylan Sutcliffe to a one-day contract as the team celebrates the one-year anniversary of its First and Ten volunteering initiative this week. Sutcliffe, who was diagnosed with ataxia telangiectasia (A-T), joins the Browns for OTAs today after he told Make-A-Wish Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana that his dream was to play football with the Browns. General Manager Ray Farmer made the announcement.

“We’re excited to add another quality player to our roster as we prepare for the 2015 season,” said Farmer. “When we first connected with Dylan, it was clear he was a competitor who had all of the right attributes to be a contributor to our team.”

“Dylan is definitely a young man who has all of the ‘Play Like a Brown’ traits, particularly through his passion, toughness and relentlessness.” said Head Coach Mike Pettine. “We look forward to seeing him bring that energy to practice this afternoon.”

Ataxia telangiectasia (A-T) is a primary immunodeficiency disease that affects a number of different organs in the body. A rare, recessive genetic disorder that affects between one out of every 40,000-100,000 children worldwide, A-T is a progressive ailment that is characterized by neurological problems, particularly abnormalities of balance, recurrent sinus and respiratory infections and dilated blood vessels in the eyes and on the surface of the skin. Patients also typically have immune system abnormalities and are very sensitive to the effects of radiation.”

A day late but an awesome, awesome story. Our buddy over at @SC_Cleveland and his fiance initially met Dylan at the Browns jersey reveal back in April, when his Make-A-Wish was apparently stuck in the mud:

https://twitter.com/SC_Cleveland/status/588154194957303808

https://twitter.com/princinxo/status/588343979252527104

Thanks to their (and many others) efforts, his wish eventually made it to the front office and finally became a reality yesterday. They held a presser, Dylan got to break it down at practice, the whole nine yards. For a franchise that has been scrutinized so much over the past few years/forever, this was a really cool move. Impossible not to smile when you see a kid who’s had as tough a draw as Dylan’s dream come true.

Here’s the links to Make-A-Wish’s national website and the Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana chapter if you want to learn more about the program or donate.

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Had the honor to meet DYLAN SUTCLIFFE and welcome him to the team. DAWG# Salaute

— Dwayne Bowe (@moneybomusic) June 2, 2015

Hey @joehaden23, how do you like your new neighbor? #give10 pic.twitter.com/FsXYRWkUyO

— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) June 2, 2015

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PS Love the signing from a football perspective too. Gotta be able to stop the run in this division.

Indians

Much To My Chagrin, Your First Place Minnesota Twins: Tribe Notes 6/2

June 2, 2015 Ai Leave a comment

Rock the (2015 MLB All-Star Game) Vote, fools

https://twitter.com/pikestaff/status/605141865642520578

https://twitter.com/peerishere/status/605125982614396929

The Indians suck because they designated someone hitting .375 for assignment

— Matthew (@MatthewR2415) May 31, 2015

What’s the Damage?

This week in “Only In Cleveland”: The Indians go 17-12 in May, have possibly the AL Pitcher and Player of the month, don’t have even close to the best month in the division, are still two games below .500 and in fourth place. Swag.

I don’t know what’s gotten into the Minnesota Twins lately but I’ll tell you one thing, I do not like it. Not one bit. Some people would probably argue they over-achieved in April when they went 10-12. I’m not sure how else to describe what this team did in May other than “the apocalypse”. 20-7. Only lost one series the entire month. They now sport the second best record in the American League behind the Houston Astros. What planet am I on?

And just like the last three weekly recaps, I’m at a loss as to how they’re doing it. Their starting pitching is just below average, sitting at 19th in the league with a 4.13 FIP. Kyle Gibson and Mike Pelfrey both have sub-3 ERAs, but they also both have sub-5 K/9s (!!!!!). The bullpen is probably where their greatest strength lies, between closer Glen Perkins (19 SV) and setup man Blaine Boyer (10 holds). Offensively, it’s the usual suspects of Dozier, Hunter and (did I say “usual”?) Plouffe. Other than that, not a whole lot. This team has to go away eventually, right? Not if top-prospects-waiting-in-the-wings Byron Buxton, Miguel Sano and starter Ervin Santana, who’ll be able to pitch around July 4th after serving an 80 game suspension for PEDs, have anything to say about it.

It WAS kinda nice to not have to write about the Royals first though. Those sons of guns are finally starting to struggle a bit, 5-5 in their last ten and 1-5 in their last six. Even so, if the All-Star game was today they’d have five starters (Perez, Moustakas, Escobar, Cain and Gordon) and the American League’s leading vote getter (Perez). That, my friends, is absolutely absurd. Sally Perez having the most votes in the entire league makes me long for a world in which fans do not vote for shit. Also, this is still a thing:

Rios has played in one game in the past 48 days.

The Angels, in a momentary lapse of Catholicism, beat the living hell out of some Kitties this past weekend. Detroit was outscored 26 to 10 in a 4 game slaughter out west, an exclamation point on an abysmal stretch of 15 games where they scratched out just 5 wins. They’re now three-and-a-half games back of the motherloving Twins. Justin Verlander threw a rehab game in AAA Sunday and could re-join the rotation either this weekend in Chicago or next weekend at home against…Chicago. The Cubs.

The former Chicagoans from the sentence above took two of three from the best team in the American League this weekend in Houston. That was before they split a double-header in Baltimore, and won the final game of a 3-game series in Toronto. That’ll help in forgetting the fact they lost 7 of 8 before that. Chris Sale is finally getting into midseason form after struggling early due to a shortened spring training (7.2IP, 0 R, 12 K in his last start, 40K in past 4 starts), and left-handed rookie phenom Carlos Rodon has been cutting down his walks in an effort to stay in the big leagues. They’ve got some ground to make up, but don’t tell VP Kenny Williams that they won’t win the AL Central just yet.

In Other News

Ask any Indians fan what their biggest weakness has been this season and you’re bound to hear about their bullpen struggles pretty quickly. But I got a tingly feeling in my tummy Sunday evening at the end of a 12 inning tango with Seattle, courtesy of rookie reliever Austin Adams (and the General Tso’s from Emperor’s Palace). Not only did he strike out one and notch his first career major league save, but he did this:

Austin Adams threw a 100.5 MPH pitch tonight.

That's the fastest pitch thrown by an Indians pitcher in the PITCHf/x era (2008-Present)

— August Fagerstrom (@August_DF) June 1, 2015

A 5th round draft pick in 2009 by the Tribe, Adams is 28 years old and just getting his first taste of the show. While Sunday was his first outing since May 16th and just his fourth all year, he’s struck out 13 in 8.1 innings in AAA this year and has a 9.24 career K/9 in the minors. While his career BB% is not great (9.7), if he can come in, hit triple digits and put it somewhere near the plate more often, he could prove to be a useful bullpen piece here in the near future.

.@MLB @MLBGIFs pic.twitter.com/MLFcXKpGFK

— Cleveland Guardians (@CleGuardians) June 1, 2015
This cat who got on SportsCenter for catching a Robinson Chirinos dinger in the bleachers while holding a hot dog?

…..literally one row behind my season tickets.

A season of missed opportunities.

I don’t know what your plans were for this Friday, but I do know that they’re no longer your plans. TWO DOLLAR Miller Lites in the stadium from 5-7 before first pitch against the Orioles at 7:10. Oh ya it’s dollar dog and fireworks night too. And also Cardale Jones is throwing out the first pitch. Not sure what this jabroni’s deal is, but I’ll be there, and you should too.

1. We’ve won 10 of 13. We have the (likely) AL Player of the Month. #baseball
2. You’re complaining about $2 beer? https://t.co/ccvAZlJPyR

— Cleveland Guardians (@CleGuardians) June 2, 2015

KEEP THE CHIEF

General

Woman helps herself to ribs at a barbecue, is promptly stabbed in the eye with a fork

May 28, 2015 Ai Leave a comment

From Fox8.com:

“An Indiana woman was hospitalized and another woman arrested following a fight over the last rib at a backyard barbecue.

Officers got a call referencing a stabbing around 7 p.m. According to a police report obtained by the Muncie Star Press, a woman told police she had been stabbed in the eye with a fork by Sabrina Davis, a family friend.

During the confrontation, the victim said Davis was using a fork to take meat from a pan when she turned and used the fork to stab her in the eye. The victim was taken to the hospital for lacerations and a swollen eye and later released.

Davis told officers she was acting in self-defense after the victim pulled out a knife during the argument.

“Davis states she stabbed (the victim) in the eye so she wouldn’t stab her with the knife,” the officer said.”

And….wait for it…..

“It was just so ridiculous. … Barbecue’s good and all that, but it’s not worth sticking somebody in the eye with a fork, you know?” a neighbor said.

Preach, “a neighbor”. Preach.

If there’s a more legit quote than “Barbecue’s good and all that, but it’s not worth sticking somebody in the eye with a fork, you know?”, I’d like to hear it. Versatile, too. Just substitute “barbecue” with 99.9% of things that exist on planet earth. A neighbor speaks the goddamn truf.

And just a really unsanitary move by Sabrina if you ask me. That fork was clearly to be used for the meat pan and the meat pan only. Get a separate one for human eyeball toots. Some people’s kids.

Do yourself a favor and click the link to watch the video though. I didn’t right away and the story seemed a little absurd. Then I came to the pic of Sabrina.

But there’s also some FANTASTIC black-and-white History Channel-esque action shots, and even a reenactment. Production value through the roof. That intern deserves a raise.