All posts by Mike

Last night on Twitter we asked who the Browns should draft. It didn’t go so well.

So last night on Twitter after the Indians had lost their fourth straight game, I decided to try and rev up a little discussion about the Browns and the upcoming NFL Draft. Ya know, something to get our minds off of the Tribe and how shitty they’ve been playing lately. I tried to spark up some conversation and  get a feel on what the fine people of Cleveland wanted their football team to do on Thursday. Little did I know what I was walking into. I unexpectedly walked right into a giant spiderweb filled with sarcastic assholes (my favorite type of asshole).

The answers ranged everywhere from serious answers like “Leonard Williams” to “Does it matter?” to “Colt McCoy”

Also, if you’re not following @Bottlegate on Twitter, you’re a boob.

Let’s go through the responses:

https://twitter.com/MRuttig67/status/593228575748173825

A couple years ago I would’ve agreed with you. Not this year. Don’t want “RG-ME” (cc:pftcommeter) on my team.

https://twitter.com/MarronMatt/status/593228914996056065

Can Scott Atchison fill the A gap and make a tackle behind the line of scrimmage? Can Cody Allen catch a punt?

Got a decent amount of Indians responses which I wasn’t expecting at all.

Agreed. Football players who are on the football field are generally a good thing.

https://twitter.com/M_Bauer10/status/593229686890717185

Two very good qualifications to have if you want to play in today’s NFL.

Low blow, bro. Low blow.

https://twitter.com/huffer_24/status/593229728582115328

Really trying to convince myself that I don’t want DGB and I can’t do it. I want him and I want him bad. Sorry, some men just want to watch the world burn.

https://twitter.com/thespazdawg/status/593229886501818369

He’s probably a little too old & slow right now but can you imagine Perk at DT or DE about 6-7 years ago? THAT would be fun.

https://twitter.com/nolreb937/status/593230229725843456

What’s one more quarterback? Bring him in!

Another quarterback? SIGN HIM UP!

https://twitter.com/j_spacek/status/593231249998753793

Have you guys seen Coach Blatt’s daughters? Not bad. Not bad at all. (related: I actually have no idea if these are his daughters but this pic is floating around Twitter and everyone assumes they’re his daughters so they’re his daughters)

Embedded image permalink

https://twitter.com/fieds69/status/593232608382820352

True. Tim Couch has a wayyy brighter future than Donovan McNabb. Also another quarterback. BRING HIM IN!

Big, strong, good hands. Used to the cold midwest weather. BRING HIM IN!

https://twitter.com/msms792012/status/593233828316991488

DING DING DING!

gary busey animated GIF

Now we get into 3 of the more depressing responses of the night:

Yes. But no. But yes. It does matter. I need a new jersey.

Damn. That one hit all 3 teams at once. Not gonna lie, this stung a bit. Not sure if 48 beers are enough.

And now for the most depressing response of the whole night:

https://twitter.com/cycle_jim/status/593228680765267968

What makes this so depressing is that it’s probably true.

See you Thursday!!!

sad animated GIF

Mishmash- Professor fails entire class because they were mean to him; Ted 2; LEGO car; Bad face tattoo

Cleveland pic of the day

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Guy builds car out of Legos

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Ted 2 red band trailer

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Butthurt Texas A&M professor fails entire class because they were mean to him

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A guy in Texas got a totally not noticable face tattoo of his kid

baby tattoo

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Taco Bell Fritos shell. Yes.

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Batter catches pitch and casually tosses it back to the catches. Boss shit.

Cavs sweep Celtics Monday Game Tape; It was a damn street fight

The Cavs completed the sweep of the overmatched Celtics like everyone said they would but it wasn’t without two huge losses. Kevin Love got his arm ripped off and JR Smith slipped and accidentally hit Jae Crowder in the face. Both probably won’t be available at the beginning of the series against the Bulls and that SUCKS. As for this game… meh. The Cavs did what they needed to do and got out of Boston with the W. We saw firsthand what happens when a team is as overmatched by talent and class like the Celtics were in this series.

We’ve got the Bulls next and it’s no time to feel sorry for ourselves.

There was a certain other team from Ohio recently who faced an immense amount of adversity in the playoffs:

Let’s look at the game tape

clebos4

In a totally not dirty or intentional play, noted mouth breather Kelly Olynyk dislocated Kevin Love’s shoulder while they battled for a rebound

No really though. There wasn’t any intent at all as you can clearly see from this picture. Totally clean. Just your normal everyday basketball play that happens every trip down the court.

Kyrie gave poor Tyler Zeller the okey doke and made him look like a damn fool

Perk set a screen for LeBron and somehow got whistled for the foul. Seemed clean to me.

LeBron went choo choo and barreled his way down the lane for 2 before the half. When ‘Bron is in “Fuck You” mode there’s no stopping him. We’ll need that vs. the Bulls.

JR Smith was getting shoved by Jae Crowder and he put his arm out and accidentally hit Crowder in the face.

Tristan went after a loose ball and laid the wood on some Celtics fans and their seats in the process

In the end the Cavs won 101-93.

Couple thoughts:

– Hey Kelly Olynyk,

FUCK YOU DUDE

All these national writers and analysts on TV saying it wasn’t “intentional” and wasn’t “dirty” can kiss my ass. Now was Kelly’s intent to dislocate Love’s shoulder and jeopardize the rest of his playoffs? Probably not. But the “intent” was clearly there. He wanted to make his presence known. He knew what he was doing. We’ve all been in that moment while we’re playing hoops. Sometimes it’s a shove before you box out, sometimes it’s a hard foul disguised as you trying to block a shot. This was worse. This was equivalent to being at the bottom of a pile during a football game and grabbing another player’s nuts and twisting. The Celtics knew they couldn’t go talent on talent vs. the Cavs so they had to resort to this bullshit and it could end up costing the Cavs dearly in the long run. It’s like getting hurt in the 4th NFL preseason game, just completely unnecessary.

We speak in hyperbole on here A LOT but I don’t think I’m that crazy when I say Kelly Olynyk may go down in Cleveland sports lore as being as big of a villain as John Elway or Art Modell. What he did was unforgivable. Depending on how this season shakes out we may be looking at another head to add to the “Cleveland hates you Mount Rushmore.” And that sucks. Because a hippy looking bench player for an under .500 team doesn’t deserve to be there.

– If JR Smith gets suspended for a substantial amount of time the NBA has gone completely soft. There’s no one to blame but Adam Silver for this. The refs were officiating this way the entire series and something like this was bound to happen. If you “let ’em play” this is what you get. And let’s not try to anoint Jae Crowder as some sympathy figure either. The dude got what was coming to him (the punch, not the sprained knee, never like to see guys get injured)… maybe next time JR shouldn’t use a closed fist but whatevs

– So many people across the Internet saying the Cavs have no chance vs. the Bulls is HILARIOUS. We have the two best players in the series. Noah and Mirotic both have bum knees and Derrick Rose is a complete wildcard every night…  This Bulls-Bucks series could easily be 2-2 right now.

– The Cavs may have just become the Bad Boys of the NBA right under our nose. Perk, JR, Moz, etc. are all ready to throw down at the drop of a hat. Even Kyrie was sticking his nose in there. Let’s just not get suspended, K? We’ll need everyone for the Bulls. NWO 4 LIFE

lebronNWO

Related: We may have to make wine and gold Cavs NWO shirts. Stay tuned

– Man you’ve gotta feel for Kevin Love. Never been to the playoffs in his career; comes to the Cavs and is unfairly scrutinized the entire season; makes the playoffs for the first time; KILLS IT in his first 3 postseason games and looks like he’s finally starting to find his groove; gets his shoulder dislocated on a dirty play at the beginning of his 4th career playoff game. Damn, man. Damn.

– This is why you have Perk on your team. Guys want to act tough? Send him in. We need to work on on how blatant he is though. I’m already foaming at the mouth thinking about Perk setting on a hard screen on Joakim Noah.

– How ’bout your boy Shump? What’d he have, about 100 combined rebounds and steals? It’ll be interesting to see if he guards Derrick Rose or Jimmy Butler next series. Shump on Rose, LeBron on Jimmy Butler is how I’d play it but I think either one sounds good to me.

– After watching these first 4 games of the Bucks-Bulls series, it’s clear that D-Rose is a liability on defense for the Bulls. He’s getting beat like he stole something on the Bucks’ pick and rolls. We’re gonna need Kyrie and LeBron to expose this with a lot of pick and rolls/pops sprinkled in there.

– How about that no-call at the end of the game when LeBron was inbounding the ball and Isaiah Thomas bumped him while he was passing the ball? Looked totally legal.

– Speaking of Isaiah Thomas, these were his postgame comments:

isaiahthomasquote

 Seems like it was a direct shot at Love, no? Enjoy your offseason, lil guy!

– Perk’s foul on Jae Crowder wasn’t a message to the Celtics. It was a message to the rest of the East- “You fuck with one of ours, you’ll get your ass laid out. Expect it.”

– Even with the impending loss of JR and Love for the foreseeable future I still don’t think the Bulls can hang with us. Gonna need Shump, Marion, Miller and TT to step up big.

Cavs in 4.