The Indians are down to a .6% chance of making the playoffs. The Browns have gone 1-2 through the “easy” part of their schedule to start the year. This media day was one giant glimmer of light in an otherwise desolate Cleveland sports landscape. The wine and gold boys were finally getting back together after a long summer. It’s a day to take pictures, look good and spit some one-liners into a microphone.

“Kevin will take questions now. Yes, man in the back who’s clearly been crying?”

“Hi Kevin. Ai, Bottlegate dot com. Why?”

Have we not suffered enough? Our baseball team was supposed to be good, they ended up stinking, our football team was supposed to stink and has stunk, and our best looking athlete in Cleveland shows up to media day looking like Superbad Jonah Hill. Mother.

It wasn’t all bad cosmetological news out of Independence today though. The King’s hairline is back. Like, really back.