Now, admittedly I haven’t been to Tower City in quite some time. Used to go as a kid before Indians games. I remember getting my body weight in sugary goodness at that candy store back by Gamestop and grabbing a mean ass steak at Morton’s like once a year. There was a small riffraff presence back then but nothing that wasn’t manageable with some simple route planning ahead of time.

Holy. S. This place has taken a nosedive. A once thriving (kinda) utopia (not really) has deteriorated to the point where customers are throwing objects at workers and Asians are standing on counter tops. Food court Chinese is probably my favorite thing in the world, too (Sakura in the 4th Street Arcade or GTFO.) This video makes me sad.

Also, I hope this doesn’t come off as racist cause that’s 1000% not my intent, but I did not get one single word from that entire exchange from the restaurant workers. Not one. “OK!” about 30 seconds in was it. The high pitched screaming is just not a dialect my brain can process I guess. Like Mr. Kim yelling at Sun-Li in Always Sunny.

As Mike would say…let’s take a look at the game tape.

Here we have a man requesting his money back for food I’m going to assume was contaminated. Think I caught something towards the end about rats or roaches or something. We do start out relatively civil. Outside voices, possibly, but the gentleman is simply asking to be reimbursed for a sub-par product.

“No.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the point of no return. Rule #1 of mall Chinese food: never touch the “Thank you, please” tip cup. Foolish.

And here we begin the aerial assault. Cups, napkins, pots and pans. Thank the good lord upstairs there were no small children within reach of this woman.

Tag team, back again.

This guys in full-out temper tantrum mode now. Just flailing his limbs, looking to make contact with anything and everything. I can guarantee with 100% certainly he’s broken his hand punching a wall before.

There are some boundaries in life that, once you cross, you can never go back. The food court counter is one of them. Nevertheless, like Ron Artest jumping into the stands on that fateful night in Michigan, this man must defend his honor.

The President of the United States marching to the situation room to “give the order” in every political drama ever made.

And his Chief of Staff.

And it’s at this point that homebody realized he bit off more than he could chew. Definitely did not count on these two maniacs jumping the counter and following him away from the scene. “I gotta get to work.” = “Mommyyyyyyy!”

These last two pictures remind me a whole lot of the only fight I’ve ever been in but I won’t say which person I am in this situation. Except I was covered in snow. And I’m not the girl.

“Hold me back bro!”