Tag Archives: Browns

Browns v Steelers Monday Rehash

September 8, 2014 Mike Leave a comment

Frustrating game to say the least. But damn, it was kind of fun, right? How many other Browns teams would have just packed it up when down 27-3 at half? No Josh Gordon, Ben Tate out for the game, Jordan Cameron out for the game and yet you score 24 second half points on the road vs. the “vaunted” Steeler defense. Obviously not the outcome everyone wanted, but it’s something to build on. Let’s look at the tape.

Copycat Steelers fans with the ol “hang the quarterback with a noose”

But we already did this. And did it way better.

This guy does not like the Browns 1st half effort or Mike Pettine

We watched a football game and a karate match broke out

So disrespectful.

And then the internet did internet things

Thankfully Spencer had a sense of humor about the whole thing

Wait, wait, wait…

When did this happen?!? pic.twitter.com/SzU9wDVx23

— Spencer Lanning (@LanningSpencer) September 7, 2014

Mike Pettine got a C+ coaching debut from me

Mitchell Schwartz doing Mitchell Schwartz things

In all I thought the line played pretty well. They gave Hoyer time and we were able to run the ball at will in the second half. They gave up a VERY untimely sack on the Browns last drive though.

Brett Keisel’s whole “I have a long beard hehehe” thing is so played out. Get a new shtick you Brian Wilson wannabe.

I loved what I saw out of all 3 of our running backs

And my all time favorite running back agrees with me

@Terrancewest_20 Keep ballin no matter what! #DeuceEightStyle

— Marshall Faulk (@marshallfaulk) September 7, 2014

Alright guys, we get it. You don’t like our backup QB

If Jordan Cameron stays on his feet here, this is a whole different ballgame

This one… This one hurt. For some reason Antonio Brown just has Joe Haden’s number

Justin Gilbert had a ROUGH first game in the NFL. But don’t worry, Justin. You only have to face Drew Brees next week.

I actually thought we were going to pull it out after Benjamin’s TD catch

But in the end, as always the Browns start the season 0-1

Tough loss.. Heads up though, we are back to work tomorrow. Browns are gonna make a run for you Cleveland.

— Paul Kruger (@pkruger99) September 7, 2014

Have 2 start better! But I would go 2 battle with these dudes every Sunday! #beatNO

— Joe Haden (@joehaden23) September 8, 2014

Spine of steel. #DawgPound

— DonteHitner31 (@DonteWhitner) September 8, 2014

Blessed to play in my first NFL game today got the butterflies out God is good n ready to ball out next week #DawgPound

— Taylor Gabriel (@TGdadon1) September 7, 2014

https://twitter.com/j_bademosi24/status/508751781376327680

Game balls- Paul Kruger, Karlos Dansby, every running back, Andrew Hawkins, Brian Hoyer

Even in the loss there’s a lot to be optimistic about. Will the first half Browns show up or will the second half Browns show up vs New Orleans? The saints are coming off an OT loss to the Falcons and it’s going to be tough to think New Orleans starts the season 0-2.

Can’t wait for the Muni Lot Sunday morning.

Browns

Part 3 of Bottlegate’s 2014 Cleveland Browns Season Preview

September 7, 2014 Mike Leave a comment

Browns Betting Guide

Odds to win the Super Bowl: 70/1. Throw 10 bucks on it and hope for a God damn miracle.

Odds to win the AFC Championship: 45/1. Hey, at least we’re not last. Oakland is at 100/1 and Jacksonville is at 125/1.

Win Total: Over/Under: 6.5. For me this whole bet hinges on if Josh Gordon’s suspension is lifted or not. If Gordon doesn’t see the field this season I’m betting the Under. If Gordon suits up, I think everything with the Browns changes drastically and I HAMMER the over.

Against the spread in 2013 the Browns were a pretty bad 6-10. 3-5 at home and 3-5 away. 9 of their games went Over and 7 went Under. 5 home games went over and 3 games went under. They were 4-4 on Over/Unders on the road.

Proposition Bet	Yes	No
Johnny Manziel wins MVP	75/1
Manziel leads NFL in passing	150/1
Manziel wins Off. ROY	14/1
Justin Gilbert wins Def. ROY	25/1
Manziel is fined in regular season	+200	-300
Manziel wins ROY and makes the playoffs	+2000

The only prop bet here worth looking at is Manziel getting fined in the regular season. I could see his uniform not being up to code or him getting a penalty for taunting after doing the Money sign in some chump defender’s ugly face.

Proposition Bet	O/U
Ben Tate – Total Rushing Yards	800.5
Ben Tate – Total Touchdowns	6.5
Jordan Cameron – Total Receiving TDs	6
Jordan Cameron – Total Rec Yards	850.5
Paul Kruger – Total Sacks	6
Joe Haden – Total Interceptions	3.5

Ben Tate total rushing yards- WAYY OVER. Lock of the year… Ben Tate has never had more than 4 touchdowns in a season, so I wouldn’t touch that. I like Jordan Cameron OVER 850 total yards (that’s only 53 yards a game) and like Joe Haden OVER 3.5 interceptions.\

SEASON OUTLOOK

Cleveland has the 7th easiest schedule according to opponents winning percentage. I expect the Browns to surprise this year. IF Josh Gordon gets his suspension lifted, this team is loaded with legitimate NFL talent. Shit, we have 5 pro bowlers returning this season. This isn’t the same 4-12 Browns. In my heart I truly believe the Browns surprise people this year.

In the NFL, games can go either way, so many games are decided by one play here and there or by a field goal as time expires. For once in my lifetime why can’t the Browns be on the winning side of these games? Well this year they will be. I don’t know if it’s the hype videos talking or what but I think the Browns will have a successful season. How “successful” is defined, I don’t know. A lot of the games won’t be pretty. Defensive battles till the final whistle, games of field goals and field position, 3 and outs galore. But I’m calling it. This year the ball bounces in the Browns favor more than it doesn’t. If the Browns can make it through their first 3 games without going 0-3, there should be real optimism for this team. They don’t have a hard schedule and the AFC North is actually pretty average. If EVERYTHING goes right and players play up to their potential, I see the Browns sticking around till the end. I don’t think this team is a 4-12 or 5-11 team of old.

My Prediction: Browns finish 8-8 and are one of the teams ESPN labels as “In the hunt” till the final week or so of the regular season.

But in typical Cleveland fashion, everything can go to shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if 10 starters simultaneously blew out their ACLs on the same play, Swagger gets loose and bites Mike Pettine in the dick, and First Energy Stadium spontaneously combusts. Only in Cleveland.

Browns 17

Pittsburgh 14

Browns

Pt 2 of Bottlegate’s 2014 Cleveland Browns Season Preview- Awards and Superlatives

September 6, 2014 Mike 1 Comment

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the “Brownies”, get it? Kinda like “Grammys.” Ha! …Please dont X out.

Now introducing your 2014 winners.

PRESEASON AWARDS AND HONORS

Most improved (defense)– Armonty Bryant and Barkevious Mingo. If preseason was any sort of indication, these two 2013 picks are poised for breakout seasons. I truly belive that both of them will end up with double digit sack totals.

Most Improved (offense)– Jordan Cameron. “Wait but Mike, wasn’t Jordan Cameron a pro bowler last year?” Yes. He was. But the first couple of weeks he went bananas and surprised all of us. The combination of defenses recognizing his ability and soul-less Brandon Weeden throwing him the ball hindered the second part of his season. Expect Jordan to put together a strong, full season.

Most underrated (defense)– Karlos Dansby. The self proclaimed “best linebacker in the NFL” is going to have to step up big if this defensive unit wants to be one of the best in the league. Dansby is the anchor of the front seven. He may not blow you away with his stats, but the defense runs through him.

Most underrated (offense)– Joel Bitonio. Bitonio was drafted to fill the void of the left guard spot. He is the missing link that will allow the left side of the offensive line to be one of this team’s strengths.

Defensive Player of the Year– Joe Haden. After Josh Gordon, Joe Haden is the most talented player on the team. He’ll earn that big contact this year and expect him to be back in the pro bowl.

Offensive Player of the Year– Ben Tate. With a decimated receiving corps, look for the Browns to run. A lot. This means carry after carry for Ben Tate who has looked the part of a #1 back during the preseason. He’s the workhorse back that thrives in Kyle Shanahan’s offense.

MVP (Excluding Joe Thomas)– Ben Tate. If this team has ANY chance of winning, it will have to depend on Tate. Barring injury, Tate has a big year and is the best running back the Browns have trotted out since 1999.

PRESEASON SUPERLATIVES

Player most likely to get thrown out of a game for fighting:

Winner: Phil Taylor. RIP to the other guy.

Player most likely to pass out because he was too hyped up for player introductions

Winner: Joe Haden. Plays with the most emotion and passion on the team. I’m legit worried he’ll get dizzy running out of the tunnel vs. the Saints.

Player most likely to singlehandedly cost us a game (besides quarterbacks)

Winner: Mitchell Schwartz. OLE!

First player to jump into the Dawg Pound

Winner: Ben Tate

Class Clown

Winner: Alex Mack. No rhyme or reason to this one, he just seems like the type of goofball to pull pranks on rookies or rub Icy Hot in a teammates jock strap.

First player to hit the Shmoney Dance

Winner: Terrance West

Player most likely to be fined for an illegal hit on defense

Winner: Donte Whitner. No brainer here. He might actually be trying to murder Antonio Brown the first game.

Best Hair

Winner: Travis Benjamin. Just fantastic lettuce.

Best Looking

Winner: Jordan Cameron. Best looking guy in the league bar none. Expect a future Bottlegate post expressing my man crush on him.

Most exciting player

Winner: Johnny Manziel. The only thing more electric than his play on the field is when him and I became best friends for life at the Barley House.

If anyone was wondering, I just brushed shoulders with @JManziel2 at Barley House. Couldnt react though, had to act like I'd been there b4.

— Bottlegate Mike (@MikeRJohanns) August 31, 2014

Fan of the year

Winner: Pumpkinhead. This dude eats, sleeps, and breathes Cleveland Browns football. Love him. Anyone who can remain this optimistic after all the shit sandwiches Browns fans have eaten over the years deserves a freaking Nobel Peace Prize.

This guy below was runner up

Most likely to shit on the field

Winner: Swagger.

Runner-Up: Alex Mack. I don’t know, he’s the class clown and just kinda reminds me of a guy who would poop on the field and find it hilarious. I like those types of guys. You win with those guys.