Tag Archives: Cleveland

The story of Geauga Lake’s downfall is infuriating

One of the best parts for those of us growing up in the Cleveland area was having Geauga Lake/Six Flags right in our backyard in Aurora. I remember spending days upon days there during the summer months, taking school field trips there, and going in the fall for their annual Halloween Haunt/Fright Fest. Well, that is until 2007 when it closed its gates forever.

If you ever visited Geauga Lake, I highly recommend reading this article by Theme Park Tourist. If you don’t have 20 minutes to kill, here are the Sparknotes:

– Geauga Lake was founded in 1887 and started out as a picnic meadow before it was soon home to a ballroom, and a steamboat that hosted dance parties on weekends. In 1925 the Big Dipper opened and it was the fastest and tallest rollercoaster of its time. Yep, the Big Dipper was its generation’s Top Thrill Dragster.

– Sea World opened across the lake in 1970. Shamu and co. were located only hundreds of feet from Geauga Lake.

– Geauga Lake was bought by Premier Parks in 1995 and they added Mind Eraser and Grizzly Run.

-Renamed Six Flags Ohio in 2000, the park opened 20 new rides including 4 major rollercoasters. Villain, Batman Knight Flight, Superman: Ultimate Escape, and X-Flight.

-In 2001 Anheuser Busch (the owner of the adjacent Sea World) wanted to buy Six Flags Ohio. It would have probably been branded “Busch Gardens, Ohio” but we’ll never know. Six Flags countered Sea World’s offer and bought Sea World for $110 million. Sea World would be combined with Six Flags.

-The park opened up as Six Flags World Of Adventure in 2001 and became the largest amusement park in the entire world. Amazing. Largest in the world. I had no idea.

– In 2004, 4 years after the park was called Six Flags and 3 years after it combined with Sea World, Six Flags Worlds of Adventure was purchased by Cedar Fair Entertainment Company. The same people who own Cedar Point. They changed the name back to Geauga Lake and eliminated everything having to do with Looney Tunes or Marvel characters. If that wasn’t enough they also changed the names of all the popular rides and rollercoasters.

– Cedar Fair wanted nothing to do with animals so the Sea World side of the park was left with only stupid climbing nets, a 4D simulator and boring rides.

-The park changed its name in 2006 to Geauga Lake and Wildwater Kingdom and everything started going to shit.

-The park removed X-Flight and Steel Venom (Superman) from the park in hopes to give off a more local and family feel to the park. Or so they say. Everyone knew that getting rid of 2 prominent rides lessened competition with Cedar Point. The main takeaway I had from this article is that Cedar Fair really sucks.

– In 2007 the park shut down the Raging Wolf Bobs at the beginning of the season and eliminated the spring and Halloween events and closed on September 16, 2007.

-Five days later, FIVE DAYS, Geauga Lake closed it’s gates for good. “There were no goodbyes. No last rides. No apologies. No final tours or memorial events. No last chance for photos. Nothing.”

– Six years after becoming the largest park in the world, Geauga Lake was reduced to just one little rinky dink waterpark. Cedar Fair said this was best for business. No more competition to Cedar Point. Dicks.

– Geauga Lake wasn’t just closed. It was scrapped. Any relocatable coasters were moved, finding new homes at Kings Dominion, Carowinds, and Michigan’s Adventure. Flat rides, too, found their way to the chain’s other parks. The Villain – just seven years old – was scrapped. So was the Raging Wolf Bobs coaster. That’s all expected. But everything from food stands to gift shops were ransacked and cut to their foundations. Obliterated.

-The only remaining attraction at Geauga Lake today is the Big Dipper. There aren’t even any bathrooms still standing.

– But that’s all good. At least there are some sick waterslides left.

– So if you’re keeping score at home, the biggest park in the world:

Became this:

Sigh.

Pretty sure I blacked out every time on the first loop of Batman

Read the full article here

Man Dressed as Isis Terrorist (with Ebola) on a boat casually strolls into the Rock&Roll Hall of Fame

 

Before we get started, this guy-

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Total dork.

 

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, this is actually terrifying. The Rock Hall is located adjacent to First Energy Stadium. You know, the place where 70,000 people all gather at once for 8 Sundays every fall to cheer on the Browns. I imagine Ebola and/or Ricin could do some damage there. I peed a little when I saw this shot:

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So this is bad, bad news. You have to sit next to thousands of drunk, sweaty fans watching the Browns AND on top of that you get Ebola! Just think, you get to watch the Browns get outscored in the first half by 3 touchdowns…then make a sweet comeback in the second half… only to lose on a last second field goal…THEN a couple days later your eyeballs pop out of your head, you shit every organ out of your body, and you die a slow painful death from Ebola (sounds like a metaphor for watching an entire Browns game actually).  Talk about a shitty (pun intended) way to spend your Sunday afternoon. If you need me next Sunday, I’ll be sprawled out on my recliner watching Sunday Ticket in HD, drinking a Budweiser, thriving, and not getting Ebola.

PS- That was actually a VERY friendly terrorist. He could teach ISIS a thing or two about manners.

Browns v Steelers Monday Rehash

Frustrating game to say the least. But damn, it was kind of fun, right? How many other Browns teams would have just packed it up when down 27-3 at half? No Josh Gordon, Ben Tate out for the game, Jordan Cameron out for the game and yet you score 24 second half points on the road vs. the “vaunted” Steeler defense. Obviously not the outcome everyone wanted, but it’s something to build on. Let’s look at the tape.

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game stats 2

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Copycat Steelers fans with the ol “hang the quarterback with a noose”

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But we already did this. And did it way better.

This guy does not like the Browns 1st half effort or Mike Pettine

We watched a football game and a karate match broke out

Metaphors

So disrespectful.

And then the internet did internet things

Thankfully Spencer had a sense of humor about the whole thing

Mike Pettine got a C+ coaching debut from me

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Mitchell Schwartz doing Mitchell Schwartz things

In all I thought the line played pretty well. They gave Hoyer time and we were able to run the ball at will in the second half. They gave up a VERY untimely sack on the Browns last drive though.

Brett Keisel’s whole “I have a long beard hehehe” thing is so played out. Get a new shtick you Brian Wilson wannabe.

I loved what I saw out of all 3 of our running backs

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And my all time favorite running back agrees with me

Alright guys, we get it. You don’t like our backup QB

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If Jordan Cameron stays on his feet here, this is a whole different ballgame

This one… This one hurt. For some reason Antonio Brown just has Joe Haden’s number

Justin Gilbert had a ROUGH first game in the NFL. But don’t worry, Justin. You only have to face Drew Brees next week.

I actually thought we were going to pull it out after Benjamin’s TD catch

Regular Season Game 1: Browns vs. Steelers

But in the end, as always the Browns start the season 0-1

https://twitter.com/j_bademosi24/status/508751781376327680

Game balls- Paul Kruger, Karlos Dansby, every running back, Andrew Hawkins, Brian Hoyer

Even in the loss there’s a lot to be optimistic about. Will the first half Browns show up or will the second half Browns show up vs New Orleans? The saints are coming off an OT loss to the Falcons and it’s going to be tough to think New Orleans starts the season 0-2.

Can’t wait for the Muni Lot Sunday morning.