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Top 10 Browns Players You’d Least Like to Fight. #5 thru #1

Here are the top 5 Browns players we’d least like to fight. You can find 10-6 HERE

5.  Buster Skrine 5’9 185 lbs, 25 years old- No doubt the toughest of the bunch. What he lacks in size he makes up in toughness and heart. No one will outwork him and no one will go harder than him.

4.  Karlos Dansby 6’3 251 lbs, 33 years old- Seasoned vet. Knows the way around a ring. Under 5% body fat. Eats a shit load of lobster mashed potatoes every day. He also willingly played a number of games with a torn bicep in 2012 for the Dolphins. Pretty sure he doesn’t feel pain.

3.  Josh Gordon 6’3 225 lbs, 23 years old- Anyone with hands as big as this can pack a punch. You catch one of these paws across your jaw and you’ll end up looking like Kanye West when he recorded “Thru The Wire.” (Back when Kanye made good music and not that unlistenable pile of bum shit “Yeezus.”)

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Just look how big his hands are

 

2.  Donte Whitner 5’10 208 lbs, 29 years old- No brainer here. Donte is one of those guys who would die before he let you beat him in anything.

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1.  Joel Bitonio 6’4 305 lbs, 23 years old- Young, hard nosed, big, fast. Probably wrestled Grizzly Bears for fun when he was growing up. He guarded Kawhi Leonard and Demar DeRozan in high school basketball. He’s athletic and he comes from a fighting background. His late father was a bareknuckle MMA fighter. Fighting is in his blood.

 

Top 10 Browns Players You’d Least Like to Fight. #10 thru #6

We here at Bottlegate could give you the same old, boring, and unoriginal “Top 10 Browns players this season” or “Top 10 Browns quarterbacks since 1999” lists that have been beaten into the ground time and time again. Snore.  Or we could spice it up and not be robotic like every other Top 10 Cleveland list out there and try and generate a little fun hypothetical discussion. Which Browns players would you least like to fight inside of the octagon? Toe to toe. Man to man. Either way I know I wouldn’t want to be inside a ring with anyone player on the Browns, that’s for damn sure.

We break it down for you and also provide what we think their entrance music should be and what finishing move would suit them the best.

10.  Paul Kruger 6’4 270 lbs, 28 years old- First thought that comes to mind is Paul Bunyan. He looks like he’s got that wilderness forest strength to him. Probably spent his childhood cutting down Giant Redwoods and bench pressing Mountain Lions. He’s not higher on the list because he’s from Utah. Utah people are too weird.

  1.  Johnny Manziel 5’11 3/4 210 lbs, 21 years old- “But Mike, how are you gonna put a 5’11 twenty one year old quarterback on here?” It’s not as much about him as it is about the company he keeps. Have you seen who he hangs with? Floyd Mayweather. Ever heard of him? Only the best boxer in the world. Mess with Johnny you better believe he’s calling up his boys and you better watch your back.

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Thats a rough & rowdy crew right there

  1. Spencer Lanning 5’11 200 lbs, 26 years old- A punter? Yes. A punter. Spencer has already shown this year that he can take a brutal kick to the face. Obviously Spencer’s strength would be his leg kicks. I’ve seen MMA fights, I know the damage a well placed kick can do. And besides, anyone with this much patriotism flowing through their veins deserves a spot on this list.

  1. Phil Taylor 6’3 335 lbs, 26 years old- Would be the obvious choice for number one… but he’s currently being rolled around on Lazy Boy chairs after he underwent surgery on his leg. He still cracks the top 10 even if he is about 3 days post-surgery. You would actually lose in a fight to him while he never got up out of his recliner.

  1. Isaiah Crowell 5’11 225 lbs, 21 years old- Someone who runs with such force and reckless abandon makes this list 100 out of 100 times.

Stay tuned for the top 5 coming at ya tomorrow

Pitch Perfect 2 trailer came out and I might too

Smokes. Smokes everywhere. Anna Kendrick? Smoke. Anna Camp? Smoke. Brittany Snow? Smooooooke. Even Elizabeth Banks is a little 40-year-old minx. And Fat Amy at the end there when she’s winking at Bumper? Don’t pretend you didn’t consider it.

Girls, I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking it too. No lines from Skylar Astin in the entire 2 minutes and 28 seconds? NOT okay. I really hope they don’t drop the dudes entirely from PP2 because if I’m being honest with myself the Treblemakers were just as entertaining to me in the first one as the Barden Bellas. Adam DeVine cracks me the fuck up. Astin has a voice that could end wars. And Benji. Benji! Who doesn’t have a lovable loser friend like Benji?

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Regardless, this is a need-to-see-opening-night type film, no doubt about it. Also I had no idea David Cross was in it. He quite possibly could steal the show. Tobias was top notch on Arrested Development.

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