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Browns

Death. Taxes. The Browns losing to Jacksonville- Browns v Jags Monday Game Tape

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Well that… sucked. I was terrified of this game going in and for good reason. The Browns were coming off of a big, emotional win vs. the Steelers last week and traveling to Jacksonville to face a winless “not as bad as their record shows” Jaguars team. Shit. 4-2 sounds so much better than 3-3 right now. I don’t even know where to start. That was bad all around (aside from Tashaun Gipson) Let’s look at the Game Tape.

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Honest statement: I had NO IDEA what “highlights” to put in here from the Browns side. When a game produces SIX offensive points, your options are limited.

This guy knows what I’m talking about

Here's An Unconscious Browns Fan In The Jacksonville Parking Lot

Ben Tate’s longest run of the game

If Brian completes this pass we go up 10-0 and it’s a whole different ballgame. Can’t miss opportunities like this if you’re an NFL quarterback.

Tashaun Gipson continued his ballhawking ways and got his 2nd interception of the day

Regular Season Game 6: Browns vs Jaguars

Awful decision to not take the points and go up 2 possessions on the road

If Mike Pettine followd the Bottlegate Twitter, he’d have gotten the right advice

And instead of being up 9-0 at half we’re down 7-6. Pettine’s first coaching blunder of the year.

Our favorite Browns fan ever made a nice halftime video commending Mike Pettine and Brian Hoyer for the good job they did in the first half

I want to disagree with him… but I just can’t. His Terrance West impression was pretty spot on too.

Nothing really happened in the 3rd quarter but the 4th quarter started out with the worst football play I’ve ever seen in my life. And to think I thought Brandon Weeden’s flip pass last year was bad.

Andrew Hawkins with a nice 65 yard catch and run

But then McQuistan decided to give an “Olé” block and got Tha Crow killed

Mingo punched Denard Robinson in the dick. Whatever, he went to Michigan and he should be used to it after losing to OSU all those years.

How much pee do you think is in this pool? 20-25 gallons?

Jordan Poyer tried catching a punt on the 2 yard line and it hit him right in the nose and Jaguars players danced

And then Walter Payton the Michigan QB takes it in for the TD

A couple plays later Hoyer threw the dagger interception. Sigh. And the Browns fall to 3-3.

The defense played well. 3 forced turnovers and only scoring 6 points is unacceptable. But I’m not gonna be all doom and gloom. This game sucked. Whatever. Gotta move on from it. Hopefully they got it out of their system. We’re 3-3 and have 2 very winnable games coming up at home. The offense needs to play better. They know that. We know that. Everyone knows that.

I don’t know what the full impact of losing Alex Mack will be but it sure looked like he was badly missed yesterday. The running game wasn’t working, Paul McQuistan looked like he’s never played football before, and Greco and Hoyer seemed to not be on the same page. I hope this can get corrected by the time Oakland comes to town.

I’m not going to be that guy but in Brian Hoyer’s last 2 games he’s a combined 24-58. Thats a 41% completion rate. Unacceptable. He threw behind receivers and missed open receivers for touchdowns. In this offense where we have to take advantage of every opportunity you can’t afford to make mistakes like that. IF Hoyer continues playing like this it’s time for #2. I think he’ll get pissed off, turn it around, and have a big game vs. Oakland next week.

PS: This picture of Joel Bitonio just makes me laugh. Love this guy.

Hitting the Road with the Browns: Jacksonville

Browns

Browns v Steelers Monday Game Tape

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I’m hungover, sunburned, my voice is gone, my hands are blistered from high fives and clapping… I’m tired. Sick. Kinda have the shakes. Might puke soon… and you know what? It’s all 100% worth it. That game yesterday was a BEATDOWN. A massacre. A bludgeoning. An extermination. A complete and utter decimation. There’s no other way to put it. The Browns were DOMINANT for 4 quarters. How many times have “dominant” and “Browns” been used in the same sentence since 1999? Once? Twice if any? It hasn’t been thrown around regularly since the 80s or early 90s I’m sure. If you’re keeping track at home, the Browns have outscored the Steelers 55-13 in the last six quarters of football. Fifty Five… To thirteen. That’s a score equivalent of the ’85 Bears playing the Permian Panthers JV team if the Permian Panthers JV team were all deaf, blind and quadruple amputees. Did I just compare the entire Steelers team to a 53 man roster of players with no arms or legs? Yup. You bet your sweet asscheeks I did.

We’re 3-2. Could easily be 5-0. Feels like 16-0. Have a realistic chance of getting to 6-2 (let’s not get ahead of ourselves though). I’m jacked up and you should be too. First Energy Stadium was rocking louder than it’s ever rocked before and good God almighty was it BANANAS in there. Let’s look at the damn game tape:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnVrSZHnvYY

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Our boy Tha Crow got things going

Lawrence Timmons, you’re too little, bro.

But you know what that means. Cue the god damn music and cue it right now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T02WlCgf_II

Jordan Cameron, nice to see you! How good does Troy P’s hair look here though? Those long, flowing, dark locks. C+ game, A+ hair.

If JC starts getting healthy, watch the fuck out.

Then Ben Tate got in on the action

End zone meet Ben Tate. Ben Tate meet end zone.

 

Alex Mack is sitting here with a broken leg and you would have no idea. What a badass.

Just reading this tweet almost brought tears to my eyes

Hey Cam, I loved you at OSU but man up, dude

Live look in at Joe Thomas reading Cam Heyward’s comments

Looking dapper as usual on the sidelines

Antonio Brown was rocking the BMX helmet hairstyle postgame. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think this was a fire haircut. If I wasn’t white and on the verge of being obese, I’d TOTALLY have this hair.

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I actually don’t hate Brett Keisel as much after this picture. His beard is still dumb though.

Can’t help but think of the Lion King theme after seeing the above picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4efZIHtiQQ

Looks like Happy learned how to putt

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And then this happened and kinda broke the Bottlegate Twitter

Pretty proud our pic turned into an internet meme though

No cake is complete without adding some delicious Steeler tears

Steelers safety Mike Mitchell must be referring to a completely different game

Jesus Christ, guys. You’re .500. Chill the fuck out.

https://twitter.com/CaseyKulas/status/521388588299476992

Some player reactions

http://instagram.com/p/uEeDSUOCPE/?modal=true

I’d like to solve the puzzle, Phil. Um, “old fashion ass whooping“

Quick PSA

Damn that was fun. #OnToJacksonville

DJ, Play me out

PS- Saw Johnny’s girlfriend in the Muni Lot before the game. Certifiable 10.

PPS- Brought a camcorder into the Muni Lot yesterday too. Should have a nice little video posted in a week or two… It was awesome being called a perv by some girl while I was filming.

PPPS- Most of those pics are from Cleveland.com. Don’t know if I have to say that but w/e

Browns

Browns v Titans Monday Game Tape

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4 games played. 4 games decided by a TOTAL of 8 points. Could be 4-0, could easily be 0-4. I have no idea what to think of this team, all I know is that the second half of yesterday’s game was FUN. Being down 25 points to coming back and winning by 1. The largest comeback by a road team in the history in the NFL… The Music City Miracle Pt. 2?  I have a feeling it’s going to be like this all season so I think it’s time to invest in some heart medicine. What’s a good brand? …And to think I was tweeting about how I wanted Johnny Manziel to play in the second half and that Travis Benjamin sucks. Whoops! Nailed that one. Let’s look at the tape.

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Regular Season Game 4: Browns vs Titans

Even though he had a pretty underwhelming game, can you imagine trying to tackle Isaiah Crowell? No freaking thanks.

Under the circumstances (coming off a bye, playing the Titans) the 1st half was… the worst display of Browns football I’ve seen

Kyle Shanahan was not impressed

I like these two

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Hey Jake Locker, this is football. You don’t play it in a dress. Man up, dude.

GIF: Jake Locker took a nasty shot to the head in the end zone from Browns Christian Kirksey

(Def. a cheap shot, whatever. Not my team not my problem)

This led to some fights and lil Nate Washington trying to fight Phil Taylor. Now Nate, let me sit you down for a second. I admit I’m not the smartest man alive, but when you’re a 6’1 175 lb wide receiver you may not want to pick a fight with Phil Taylor. But what do I know?

Jim Dray provided the only TD of the first half

Regular Season Game 4: Browns vs Titans

So we went into the half down by 18

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But then the third quarter got prettttty interesting

And it started with this muffed punt that turned out not to be a muffed punt

Love our fans

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How this wasn’t pass interference is mind boggling

Definitely thought the game was over at this point

And I think Mike Pettine thought the same thing. Language, coach! There’s families!

Turning point in the game. Tank Carder- not good at Twitter, good at blocking punts

Ms. Johnny’s sister, just relax and be patient

Then some no name asshole tried taking out the best O lineman in the league, Joe Thomas

Hoyer showed there’s more than 1 QB who can improvise

The fans that made the trip down were great

Chaz Whitehurst tried the most pathetic QB sneak of all time. Ken Whisenhunt challenged it like an idiot and lost. Thank God we didn’t hire that guy!

So the Browns took over and Hoyer marched it right down their Titan throats

https://twitter.com/CaseyKulas/status/518857813796618241

Regular Season Game 4: Browns vs Titans

I think this is where I stopped breathing for a little bit

Good thing Clipboard Jesus is accurate downfield

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A couple plays later the clock ran out and your Cleveland Browns got to 2-2

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/518861390862614528

Game balls- Taylor Gabriel, Brian Hoyer, Ben Tate, Armonty Bryant, K’Waun Williams, Billy Cundiff

2-2 sounds SO MUCH better than 1-3. I think I love this team? When everything is stacked against them, they refuse to fold and refuse to die. I don’t know if that’s a sign of good coaching or a sign of good veteran leadership in the locker room. Either way this year just feels different, ya know? Now let’s get ready for Pittsburgh and get on a little winning streak here.

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PS- If you’re not reading the Bottlegate game previews then I guess you don’t like money

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