Tag Archives: nba finals

Guy Makes An Absolutely Heart Pounding LeBron James NBA Finals Hype Video

SOMEBODY CALL STEHPEN AAAAAAAAA

A high octane, testosterone fueled, dazzling intoxication.

His name is Ben Metzger and he’s got a reserved seat at the table. This was posted yesterday and already has over 75,000 views.

I was browsing around YouTube last night looking for some Cavs Finals hype videos and this one caught my eye. I won’t lie, I’m incredibly confused. On one hand I want to jump out of my computer and mimic this guy’s dance moves, but on the other I’m afraid I’ll cringe so hard my face will get stuck permanently.

I don’t know why this works but it just does. I’ve never been more excited to watch a series than I am after I watched this. Cavs in 6.yPx2oE

According to Pornhub, Clevelanders watched a sh*t ton of porn after the Cavs lost the Finals.

pornhub-insights-2015-nba-finals-game-6

Via Pornhub Insights

…the really impressive climbs took place once the game ended. In both the winning Bay Area and the losing city of Cleveland, traffic shot way up. The State of Ohio was easing their pain with traffic rates at 25% above average in the hours following the game, while folks in the victorious metropolitan area were celebrating on Pornhub, as noted with the 20% increase in traffic observed a few hours after the game ended.


Silver linings, people. Sure the Cavs lost in the Finals and sure Cleveland hasn’t won a championship in 51 years… but for those 2 hours after the loss there were tons of Clevelanders feeling better about themselves and having sex (with themselves). That’s pretty cool. So after we saw our team get fucked on TV, we opened up our laptops to watch someone… get fucked. Common coping mechanism.

I always love when Pornhub puts these charts out after a big game a la the Super Bowl, or the most recent diagram detailing when Ohio State crushed the soul of every Alabaman with their Sugar Bowl victory. It shows that no matter where you are in the world, the most common way to ease your pain after a big loss isn’t with food, alcohol or drugs, it’s with porn.

I emailed the fine people at Pornhub (what a time to be alive) to see if they have any information like this for us to use. A kind gentleman by the name of Matt promptly responded and sent me this chart (as did a few of out esteemed Twitter followers). It’s not the same % change that Alabama had after the Sugar Bowl loss, but it’s still damn impressive.

Favorite part was at 11 pm Cleveland was around -25% below normal and at 1 am we were +15%. That’s a crazzzy 40% jump. We were definitely All In.

LeBron: “I feel confident because I’m the best player in the world. Simple.”

Needed that this morning. “Oh, LeBron how are you going to move forward against this Golden State Warriors team who get every foul call and have already been crowned the “greatest team of all time?”

“Ummm, I’m the best player in the world, never count me out, and this series shows that you idiots.”

There’s only a couple people in their respective profession who can say they’re the “best in the world” and not be questioned. LeBron James is one of them.

Let’s see how things shake out on Tuesday. I’m still confident as hell in this team and still think they win the series. Now we would have all preferred the Cavs closing out this series at home tomorrow but that’s not the case anymore. Tomorrow is obviously a must win and I feel great about it because we have that guy on our team. The Warriors defended their homecourt and now we have to defend ours. Simple as that. Tie this baby up at 3-3 and then ANYTHING can happen in a game 7.

Cavs in 7.

Also. Draymond Green’s mom blocked me on Twitter because I called her son a mouth breather.

Embedded image permalink

Welcome to 2015.