3 games played. 3 games decided by last second field goals. I don’t know if my poor heart can handle any more games that come down to the last second. I think the most frustrating thing is that just when you think your team is turning the corner, they just. can’t. do. it… Special teams. Run defense. Penalties. The 4th quarter. The same ol Browns snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

A couple quick thoughts-

-2 missed field goals (1 blocked). Make one of those and you force Baltimore to have to score a touchdown on that last drive. The right side of our field goal unit is struggling. Go back and look at Billy Cundiff’s game winner against the Saints and you’ll see it was dangerously close to being blocked.

-Travis Benjamin should not be allowed to return punts anymore. Everyone can see he’s afraid of getting hurt. How do you not fair catch a ball that lands at the freaking 23 yard line? It’s pathetic. Put Marlon Moore or Jim Leonhard back there. Have Benjamin be our deep ball threat and that’s it.

-Why stop throwing to Jordan Cameron? In the fourth quarter why wouldn’t you ride your best offensive player?

-Andrew Hawkins continues to impress me. Guy is such a waterbug.

-The Browns defense made Lorenzo Taliaferro look like Adrian Peterson. So far this season the Browns have faced some pretty average to subpar rushing attacks. Imagine what’ll happen when they face a team who has a good running game.

-How many times can one team be called for “12 men in the huddle?”

-Would it hurt to run a screen pass with our running backs?

-After 3 games I’ve yet to see Donte Whitner make an impact play.

-So far Joe Haden has not been worth his big contract that he was awarded this offseason. Big time cornerbacks don’t get beat like that late in games…

Let’s look at the game tape:

 

The day started off with Josh Gordon waking up and Instagramming a picture that said “My gawd that yellow thing comes to the same spot every damn day.. ☀️” Hey Josh that yellow thing is the sun, dude. Duh!

http://instagram.com/p/tNTcyywjXJ/?modal=true

And then he poured a bowl of cereal but forgot he didn’t have milk. HATE when that happens

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/513669890935246848

Sidenote: When I was a kid I would use those little Hug juice things in my cereal instead of milk. That’s why I turned out the way I am.

These fans brought the LOLs starting right at kickoff. Real original, guys.

 

The best Isaiah Crowell song ever was written. CAW CAW CAW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T02WlCgf_II

There were a lot of Lebron touchdown celebrations

Johnny came off the field after this handoff

Coaches were pissed at him

But wait, it’s a fake!

Kyle Shanahan and Johnny deserve an Oscar for this performance

MAN”S STIFF ARM!!

But the 36 yard reception was wiped out by an illegal shift by Terrance West. Idiot. This play was being developed for 2 weeks and it’s ruined by a stupid penalty. So Browns.

A couple fans saluted the Ravens. Cleveland always has practiced good sportsmanship.

And Tha Crow showed why he should be the every down back

Helluva block by Cameron

Miles Austin showed he still has some gas left in the tank

Thought the game was over when Tashaun Gibson picked off Joe Flacco

But Cundiff doinked it… Do we need a new long snapper?

If Taylor Gabriel doesn’t fall down here, it’s an easy 6 and the Browns win. Sigh.

This was NOT a penalty. Hoyer was CLEARLY behind the line…

eh…

The Browns were ready to put the game away late in the fourth. A couple of first downs and this would move the Browns to 2-1 going into the bye week. So when big time players make big time plays in big time games the Browns did this:

And totally shit down their leg

And in the end, the Browns beat the Browns

Wonder what this guy’s postgame remedy consists of?

Johnny Manziel’s sister was not happy. I’m sure no one in the media will mention this.

I don’t think Meri and I watched the same game

Game Balls: Brian Hoyer, Andrew Hawkins, Tashaun Gipson

Alright. So we’re 1-2 and our 2 losses have come from last second field goals. We could easily be 3-0 but at the same time could easily be 0-3. The hardest part of the schedule is over so there’s no choice but to look ahead to the next few games…. And they’re all very very winnable. If we’re not at least 4-4 after the Buccaneers game then we have a real problem.

It’s not all bad news however…

(press play and let the music build at least 20 seconds before you keep scrolling)

Fear not Cleveland. Through the hallowed depths of the Muni Lot pavement rose a figure from the ashes. Half man, half bottle of whiskey. A little puffy and very inebriated. A hero. Not the hero we deserved, but a hero we needed… Nothing less than a knight. Shining… We’ll hunt him. We’ll condemn him. Set the dogs on him.

Because that’s what needs to happen.

Because he’s the hero Cleveland deserves. But not the one it needs right now.

So we’ll hunt him. Because he can take it.

Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. The Drunk Johnny Fan.