The Browns Should Hire Matt Patricia To Be The Next Head Coach And Here’s Why

So with the Browns recent opening at head coach, lots of names have been flying around. The usual “no way they ever come here” guys like Jon Gruden, Saban, Urban Meyer, etc. The “people we interviewed/were interested in during the last coaching search like Adam Gase and Doug Marrone. But there’s one guy that I’ve had my mind on for awhile now now and that guy is the Defensive Coordinator of the New England Patriots; Matt Patricia.

Now I’m not going to bore you with statistics, numbers and how & why he’s succeeded as a Patriots Defensive Coordinator (but he sure figured out how to use Jabaal Sheard, eh?). I will convey what I’ve learned about him through my extensive research (clicking on the first 3 results on Google after typing in “Matt Patricia”).

Patriot fans seem to think Patricia is the heir to Belichick’s throne in New England. Not sure if that’s the shared belief among all Pats fans but there’s a lot on the Internet that believe it. One ex: This Reddit thread.

For one, the guy just looks like Cleveland. Thick ass beard, not too fat, but not skinny. The type of weight you need to have when you coach next to Lake Erie in November and December. To me he looks like a guy who’d be at the Horseshoe Casino in a flannel on a Tuesday night from 6 pm-2 am posting the minimum bets at a Blackjack table… and then going to B Spot on the second floor to end his night with a cheeseburger… Then driving to Berea at 4 am, slamming 4 Red Bulls and spending the entire day watching film and devising a game plan.

The guy is pretty much a rocket scientist. No, like a real rocket scientist. He graduated from the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and earned his degree in Aeronautical Engineering.

Via NESN, Bill Belichick had this to say about him:

“Matt’s really smart,” Belichick said. “He’s had a lot of different experiences. He’s coached in college, he’s coached on the offensive side of the ball, coached on the defensive side of the ball, has been in this situation, this program for a long time so he has a pretty good understanding historically of things like the (Mike) Vrabels and the (Tedy) Bruschis and the Troy Browns and all things like that that can have some relationship to sometimes current situations. “He’s really smart. This guy could probably build a plane and fly it — like this guy is smart-smart. He’s got great recall and a really high IQ level in terms of just processing a lot of information. He’s the kind of guy that he’s got 10 projects going at once and then you’re like, ‘Hey Matt can you do this and do that’ — ‘oh yeah, no problem.’ He’s got 12 going at once.       

Knows both sides of the ball? Check.

Can build an airplane if he’s ever stuck at Hopkins and needs to get to a pro day? Check.

Can deal with the numerous responsibilities that a head coach has to deal with and can multitask? Check and check.

He’s young. Only 41 years old but has spent 12 years with the Patriots. He’ll have spent 20+ years in the NFL by the time he’s 50.

He’s a “relentless” coach who has the respect of his players (Boston Globe)

“He’s relentless in trying to put us in the best possible position,” Ninkovich said. “The hours that he puts in — unbelievable, and he’s never satisfied. He’s always trying to push me to be a better football player, and he knows how to push my buttons.”

Patricia said, “I like that word [relentless]. I think for me, it’s all about work ethic and just trying to get in there and make sure that I do everything that I can to help those guys be productive on the field. That’s really my biggest – I don’t want to say panic – but that’s the thing that drives me the most, is just making sure that I’ve given those guys all the information they need to be prepared to win. That’s what keeps me up at night.”

“We’ve been together a long time now, and he knows how to get me a little bit angry and play to my best,” Ninkovich said. “I guess that’s what a coach is supposed to do, is get his players to play to their best, and he does that.”

He eats, breathes, and sleeps football and drinks A LOT of caffeine. According to the Boston Globe, he doesn’t sleep either

“He doesn’t require a lot of sleep. I don’t know exactly how much, I don’t go home with him,” Graham said, laughing.

Patricia said, “Four hours is a good night. I enjoy sleep, there’s just really not a lot of opportunity to get it. It depends, it could be a couple hours, it could be an hour, it could be three. Four hours is nice, but it doesn’t happen all the time.

“It’s more, did we get everything covered, what’s got to be done for tomorrow, what’s going to help these guys win, and not really being able to settle down until that’s all taken care of,” he said.


Bonus points for the Game of Thrones/NWO Barstool shirts.


He played Center in college. By the sound of things, the Browns will need to replace the Center position. MP knows how important that position is. Hell, maybe he can even jump in if things get dire.

He’s American.

How’d he celebrate after winning the Super Bowl last season after he basically predicted what play the Seahawks were going to run at the goal line?

He draped himself in our nation’s colors.

He comes from a winning organization and knows how to deal with media shitstorms (Deflategate). I know, I know, everyone shits on the idea of Belichick coordinators as head coaches and that’s definitely fair. But you can’t hold the past failures of another man against him.

Just think of the rocket scientist, Sashi, & Mr. Moneyball talking analytics until their heads fall off. If there’s a guy who fits with this “analytics theme” the Browns seem to be implementing, it’s Matt Patricia.

Most likely Patricia is only doing this Browns interview out of courtesy and this will be a “practice interview” for him.

We’ll probably go the “sexy hire” route and get Doug Marrone. Sigh.

And if we’re being 100% honest, I’ll probably just repost this article in 2 years when we’re in the midst of another coaching search.


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