Big win for the good guys last night so it’s nice to see them let off a little steam after a tough, grueling series. Kinda upset they didn’t let Delly show his moves but w/e. We’ll have more in the Game Tape later today.
This was posted on JR Smith’s Instagram and there’s a good chance once LeBron hears about it that it’ll be deleted. (luckily I saved the video)
Quick. Let’s play “What are they thinking”
Mozgov- “That’s not how we dance in Mother Russia… I wonder what my favorite bartender is up to right now…”
Joe Harris- “Played a lil bit tonight. Gotta make sure I hydrate with this Bud Light.” (he’s drinking Bud Light, right?)
GM David Griffin- “This damn guy dancing like a maniac in the middle of the aisle was the reason I was voted 2nd best executive in the NBA this season. SMH. God dammit I hope no one sees me on this video.”
LeBron- “This is my fifth straight Eastern Conference Finals. Yawn.”
“That’s what happens when you’re in Cleveland,” Gibson said. “It’s the second time in a row that they threw stuff at us. It’s classless. We’re just here to play basketball. I can’t focus on that kind of stuff.”
– Taj “Hardcore” Gibson
WAAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAH!!! WAAAAAAH!!! THE BIG BAD CLEVELAND FANS THREW SOMETHING AT ME!!! WAAAHHH!!!!!
Good thing Taj wasn’t hurt though. Can you imagine being hit with a hard object after you were just ejected for kicking a player on the home team in an emotional playoff game? Man. That’d be awful. We really have to be thankful that the hard object didn’t hit him in the head and cause extensive damage… Phew. He’s lucky he didn’t get knocked unconscious. I mean this was just a terrible and heinous crime. Bottlegate x 100.
After reviewing video of Gibson leaving the floor; only thing I saw thrown at him was a white rally towel thrown at him as he hit the tunnel
Wait a second. I thought Taj was in clear and imminent danger as he was being escorted off of the court? I thought those “classless” Cleveland fans were tossing beers/batteries/dog biscuits at him and really letting him have it…
Nah.
They weren’t.
Just one single 100% cotton towel rained down from the rafters at Quicken Loans Arena. You know the towels… About 18X12 inches. Made in China. Soft. Fluffy. White. Maybe about 4 ounces… So basically a murderous weapon.
Taj can’t be serious, can he? THAT’S what he considers “classless?”
Now I get it. Aside from hat tricks in hockey, people that throw things onto the field of play are generally assholes. And that’s fine. I’m not going to sit in my Ivory Tower and chastise people who throw things onto court/field/diamond. You see the name of this website? Without the drunk Browns fans chucking bottles of booze after referees made an officiating blunder in 2001, we wouldn’t be on this here Internet today… But to call an entire city of people “classless” for ONE COTTON TOWEL may be the most ridiculous thing an NBA player has ever done… and I suffered through two seasons of watching Dion Waiters.
Quick. Let’s play a game. Who’s tougher: Taj Gibson or my almost 2 year old dog Bodhi?
You know what Bodhi did after that? He didn’t call me “classless” and whine to the media. He smiled at me with his tail wagging. Then he turned his head around and licked his ass because being hit by a towel is basically the same feeling as a mild gust of wind.
I think it’s safe to say Taj would not have fared well in the WCW (this is an amazing clip)
So while you were sleeping last night, Miami Marlins cyborg Giancarlo Stanton did this:
114 MPH off the bat, landed on the roof of the seats in left, 475 feet away. Fourth player ever to leave Dodger Stadium entirely. Adios, senor pelota.
That got me thinking. Since I’m completely out of positive thoughts to blogthere’s no Cavs game to distract us tonight we could all use some good vibes heading into Game 2 against the Cardinals tonight, why don’t we take a look at some of the longest moonshots in Prog history? Spoiler alert – there’s a lot of this:
5. 478 ft – Jim Thome, 7/27/99 vs. Detroit Off of: Dave Borkowski
I may or may not but most certainly did not check to see if I could find videos of all these before I started writing this. 0-1 so far. So here’s a video of Thome’s first walk-off homer of his career, from 1994:
Thereeeee we go. It’s almost like we didn’t even lose 8-3 last night.
4. 479 ft – Jim Thome, 7/17/00 vs. Houston Off of: Wade Miller
…..yeah I’m 0-2 but I’ve had a couple good at-bats and have made a couple nice plays defensively. Thome went yard twice this game, both off this jabroni. On that note, here’s his bomb and FIRE bat flip from Game 5 of the 95 ALCS:
Tell it goodbye! Man that place was rockin’.
3. 481 ft – Manny Ramirez, for Boston, 7/26/07 Off of: Cliff Lee
I swear the top 2 have videos for them. But this one took some research so lay off me, I’m starving. First of all Manny hit two tank-pieces this game, one off Clifford and the other off our dear friend Jensen Lewis. I initially thought it was the one off Lewis, but it wasn’t, which is unfortunate because I had a hilarious picture to use for him, which I’ll share now:
Go Commodores. Secondly there’s some dinger debate on this one. The PDF I found from Wikipedia, so you know, gospel, listed the bomb as 481 feet. But ESPN’s Home Run Tracker (which is actually pretty cool but only goes back to 2006) had it pegged at 447. It doesn’t really matter since there’s no video and thus we’ll never know for sure so here’s Manny hitting a 3 run yackjob and setting a franchise record for RBI in a season (164) (!)
2. 485 ft – Mark McGwire, for Oakland, 4/30/97 Off of: Orel Hershiser
Check it out, a video!
That ball…might not come back. This one’s a perfect snapshot of the steroid era: long, high and goddamn entertaining. And also long. Sweet Jesus.
1. 511 ft – Jim Thome, vs. Kansas City, 7/3/99 Off of: Don Wengert
I mean we all knew that was coming. If you’ve been through the new entrance in center field you’ve definitely seen the bat-pointing statue, and probably walked right over the plaque marking where this puppy landed. Here it is, with bonus Hammy call:
“Jim Thome has just left Jacobs Field, on to Eagle Avenue.”
Something tells me that one might not be matched for a while.
But AI, what’s the longest home run hit at The Prog THIS season, you ask?
442 ft – Alex Gordon, for Kansas City, 4/28/15
God. Damnit.
That yellow circle is the ball, Red? My brother-in-law. The blue circle is not me because I had to take a piss. Overall, not a great couple minutes of my life.
Bottlegate 