Tag Archives: golden state warriors

NBA

ICYMI, Steph Curry is BACK

May 25, 2016 Ai Leave a comment

(h/t /u/bootum)

omg

I know everyone has bad games and you could cut up some Cavs highlights from the past few clunkers that look even worse than this….but that doesn’t change the fact that this video is hands down the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

For those of you out there still clinging on to the “It’s hard to hate Steph” train, I present to you the events of the past 72 hours. After heroically returning from basically a hangnail of the knee he suffered in the first round (or an MCL sprain depending on who you talk to), Steph proclaimed himself to be “here” as well as “back” after a 17 point overtime period in Game 4 of the WCSF against the Blazers (see above GIF). However, he was apparently lying. The Warriors have gone down 3-1 to the Thunder in tremendous fashion, and although Steph is technically “there”, he is apparently not “back”.

A report comes out after last night’s 6-20 from the field, 2-10 from three and six turnover performance that Steph is playing at 70% strength, battling to come “back” from the knee injury he already said he was “back” from. I’m “confused”.

I mean come on. This doesn’t come out if the Warriors didn’t just get emasculated on national TV two games in a row. We can all agree that he hasn’t been the same player since his return, but it’s pretty convenient timing for a report to confirm it.

Now I’m not going to straight up call Steph a liar and the Warriors sore losers because I’m a class act and that’s not how we do things at Bottlegate, but you’re all free to draw your own conclusions.

Cavs

Apparently Anderson Varejao got a standing ovation on his flight out of Cleveland

February 24, 2016 Ai 1 Comment

Big ol’ hat tip to Reddit user /u/Pacoboy09. Here’s the link to his post on /r/clevelandcavs, with the text below:

“Hey guys, My step dad was on a flight from Cleveland to Atlanta a few days ago after being traded and Andy Varejao was on the flight. He saw him in the bar and a few people came up asking for photos and autographs which he graciously agreed to. When they were boarding the flight, Andy was offered to board first but refuse to since there were two elderly passengers and a baby who he insisted go first. Later when everyone one was almost seated, Andy had to stand up, that’s when a man up front started clapping. Soon the whole plane started with an applause and cheering. My step dad said it was amazing how it happened. He then thanked everyone and said that is why he would miss all the fans in Cleveland.

Just thought I would share!”

I don’t know what they’re paying the cleaning crews in my office but whatever it is, it’s too much. So goddamn dusty in here it’s unbelievable.

What a perfect cherry on top of Andy’s dozen years in our city. This is how I’ll always remember him, as the gentle Brazilian teddy bear who lets old ladies and children board airplanes before him but also will fake take a charge and probably sack tap someone if he needs to. There may have been contract disputes, and possibly some trade requests sprinkled in there, but as that one song on the Country Gold playlist on Spotify says, we had more good years than bad or something like that.

That is, until he comes up with some sort of huge, game (probably series if we’re being honest) changing play in the Finals. Because that’s the mortal lock to beat all mortal locks if we make it there. Then he can kick rocks.

PS It’s “It All Started With A Beer” by Frankie Ballard. Listen to the chorus while thinking of Andy, I dare you.

There’s been highs and lows, fast lane freeways and bumpy roads
Cursed the devil and prayed to heaven, lost it all and we rolled some sevens
There’s been some smiles then there’s been tears, been more good than bad years
Ain’t it crazy baby how we got here, Oh, it all started with a beer

Cavs, Cleveland, ohio

According to Pornhub, Clevelanders watched a sh*t ton of porn after the Cavs lost the Finals.

June 24, 2015 Mike Leave a comment

Via Pornhub Insights

…the really impressive climbs took place once the game ended. In both the winning Bay Area and the losing city of Cleveland, traffic shot way up. The State of Ohio was easing their pain with traffic rates at 25% above average in the hours following the game, while folks in the victorious metropolitan area were celebrating on Pornhub, as noted with the 20% increase in traffic observed a few hours after the game ended.

Silver linings, people. Sure the Cavs lost in the Finals and sure Cleveland hasn’t won a championship in 51 years… but for those 2 hours after the loss there were tons of Clevelanders feeling better about themselves and having sex (with themselves). That’s pretty cool. So after we saw our team get fucked on TV, we opened up our laptops to watch someone… get fucked. Common coping mechanism.

I always love when Pornhub puts these charts out after a big game a la the Super Bowl, or the most recent diagram detailing when Ohio State crushed the soul of every Alabaman with their Sugar Bowl victory. It shows that no matter where you are in the world, the most common way to ease your pain after a big loss isn’t with food, alcohol or drugs, it’s with porn.

I emailed the fine people at Pornhub (what a time to be alive) to see if they have any information like this for us to use. A kind gentleman by the name of Matt promptly responded and sent me this chart (as did a few of out esteemed Twitter followers). It’s not the same % change that Alabama had after the Sugar Bowl loss, but it’s still damn impressive.

Favorite part was at 11 pm Cleveland was around -25% below normal and at 1 am we were +15%. That’s a crazzzy 40% jump. We were definitely All In.