Tag Archives: Johnny Manziel

Pt 2 of Bottlegate’s 2014 Cleveland Browns Season Preview- Awards and Superlatives

September 6, 2014 Mike 1 Comment

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the “Brownies”, get it? Kinda like “Grammys.” Ha! …Please dont X out.

Now introducing your 2014 winners.

PRESEASON AWARDS AND HONORS

Most improved (defense)– Armonty Bryant and Barkevious Mingo. If preseason was any sort of indication, these two 2013 picks are poised for breakout seasons. I truly belive that both of them will end up with double digit sack totals.

Most Improved (offense)– Jordan Cameron. “Wait but Mike, wasn’t Jordan Cameron a pro bowler last year?” Yes. He was. But the first couple of weeks he went bananas and surprised all of us. The combination of defenses recognizing his ability and soul-less Brandon Weeden throwing him the ball hindered the second part of his season. Expect Jordan to put together a strong, full season.

Most underrated (defense)– Karlos Dansby. The self proclaimed “best linebacker in the NFL” is going to have to step up big if this defensive unit wants to be one of the best in the league. Dansby is the anchor of the front seven. He may not blow you away with his stats, but the defense runs through him.

Most underrated (offense)– Joel Bitonio. Bitonio was drafted to fill the void of the left guard spot. He is the missing link that will allow the left side of the offensive line to be one of this team’s strengths.

Defensive Player of the Year– Joe Haden. After Josh Gordon, Joe Haden is the most talented player on the team. He’ll earn that big contact this year and expect him to be back in the pro bowl.

Offensive Player of the Year– Ben Tate. With a decimated receiving corps, look for the Browns to run. A lot. This means carry after carry for Ben Tate who has looked the part of a #1 back during the preseason. He’s the workhorse back that thrives in Kyle Shanahan’s offense.

MVP (Excluding Joe Thomas)– Ben Tate. If this team has ANY chance of winning, it will have to depend on Tate. Barring injury, Tate has a big year and is the best running back the Browns have trotted out since 1999.

PRESEASON SUPERLATIVES

Player most likely to get thrown out of a game for fighting:

Winner: Phil Taylor. RIP to the other guy.

Player most likely to pass out because he was too hyped up for player introductions

Winner: Joe Haden. Plays with the most emotion and passion on the team. I’m legit worried he’ll get dizzy running out of the tunnel vs. the Saints.

Player most likely to singlehandedly cost us a game (besides quarterbacks)

Winner: Mitchell Schwartz. OLE!

First player to jump into the Dawg Pound

Winner: Ben Tate

Class Clown

Winner: Alex Mack. No rhyme or reason to this one, he just seems like the type of goofball to pull pranks on rookies or rub Icy Hot in a teammates jock strap.

First player to hit the Shmoney Dance

Winner: Terrance West

Player most likely to be fined for an illegal hit on defense

Winner: Donte Whitner. No brainer here. He might actually be trying to murder Antonio Brown the first game.

Best Hair

Winner: Travis Benjamin. Just fantastic lettuce.

Best Looking

Winner: Jordan Cameron. Best looking guy in the league bar none. Expect a future Bottlegate post expressing my man crush on him.

Most exciting player

Winner: Johnny Manziel. The only thing more electric than his play on the field is when him and I became best friends for life at the Barley House.

If anyone was wondering, I just brushed shoulders with @JManziel2 at Barley House. Couldnt react though, had to act like I'd been there b4.

— Bottlegate Mike (@MikeRJohanns) August 31, 2014

Fan of the year

Winner: Pumpkinhead. This dude eats, sleeps, and breathes Cleveland Browns football. Love him. Anyone who can remain this optimistic after all the shit sandwiches Browns fans have eaten over the years deserves a freaking Nobel Peace Prize.

This guy below was runner up

Most likely to shit on the field

Winner: Swagger.

Runner-Up: Alex Mack. I don’t know, he’s the class clown and just kinda reminds me of a guy who would poop on the field and find it hilarious. I like those types of guys. You win with those guys.

And those are your winners, folks. Check back tomorrow for the Bottlegate Browns Preview Part 3- Gambling and Season Predictions.

You can view Part 1 HERE

Browns

Your semi annual reminder why Merril Hoge is the biggest joke in sports media

September 3, 2014 Mike Leave a comment

From CBS Sports – “If you’re the Steelers defense you want No. 2 to walk out on that field. You want him on that field,” Hoge said. “He has no business being on the field right now. This is the one thing that probably burns me more about the NFL more than anything, is when a player like Johnny Manziel is drafted based on hype and excitement, not a true football skill.

“He really had no business being drafted in the first round. When I was doing the draft and I was going through and studying him. I actually got done and it’s the first time, aside from when Tim Tebow came out, there’s nothing, nothing he does that transitions to the National Football League. There’s not one skill set he had where you say ‘Gosh he’s a first-rounder.’ Really nothing.”

——-

Hoge continued to go off on Manziel’s text to coaches about wanting to “wreck this league” and then concluded on the lengthy interview (after a diatribe about Jerry Jones and theDallas Cowboys) by predicting the “saddest, quickest ending” to an NFL career “in quite some time.”

“This will be the saddest, quickest ending we’ve seen in quite some time. It’ll be like a Tim Tebow,” Hoge said. “He is exciting. They keep coming back to it, and I go that’s great but it’s not a skill set that transitions in our league.”

So ESPN’s Merril Hoge had some comments about Johnny Manziel. Those of you that know me, probably know my exact feelings after reading this.

But I’m not gonna get mad. I’m going to take a couple deep breaths and I’m going to calmly talk about the aforementioned Merril Hoge.

I’m not going to sit here and defend Johnny Manziel from this idiot because that’s just getting tiresome… But what I will do is drag Merril Hoge’s name through the mud and show what a fraud he is. Time and time again he’s been incredibly wrong in prior statements he’s made. Seriously, I haven’t the slightest clue why he’s actually allowed to state his opinion in a public forum and why ESPN continues to keep him under contract. Unlike Skip Bayless (who is a professional troll) Hoge’s tiny little brain actually thinks what he’s saying is right. Well Merril, good thing I’m here to keep you in line.

Merril on the best QBs in the NFL

Yep. Nailed it. Especially the no Peyton Manning or Drew Brees part.

Merril from the 2008 draft:

“I do like Brohm better than Aaron Rodgers”

Rodgers lacks anticipation and waits to see a route come open, Brohm throws it with anticipation, that’s a huge advantage

This tweet that has since been deleted by ESPN

Sure, I would also rather have a 7th round pick who barely made a practice squad over arguably the best prospect in the last decade.

Merril also wears his ties like this. On purpose.

Now this I especially just don’t understand. I don’t know if he’s trying to make this his thing or if he genuinely thinks this is a good look. Also, Merril, I think your face is stupid.

And these are just a few statements that Hoge has made. It’s truly amazing how someone can actually get paid to give their opinion to the world while being so consistently inaccurate time and time again. His analysis is crap and is easily one of the most disliked people at ESPN. At this point though I don’t even know whether to be mad or to just laugh at the Factor Back.

Browns, Cleveland

What to Watch For- Browns vs. Bears

August 28, 2014 Mike Leave a comment

Ah, the 4th preseason game. The most meaningless football game (on any level) of the year. The game where starters don’t play a down yet a backup’s livelihood can depend on if they can hold their block on the punt team. While the Browns will most likely play their starters for a portion of the first quarter, the Bears have already announced that their starters won’t see the field. With tons of questions still unanswered about this team, these are a few of the ones I want to figure out:

1. Can the Browns 1st team offense pass the 50 yard line vs the Bears second team defense?

The offense has left much to be desired so far this preseason. Hopefully Brian Hoyer and Co. can pull their heads out of their asses and try and get some cohesion going into the regular season. I’d love to see a throw or two downfield so when teams scout us during the regular season they’ll see that we actually CAN throw the ball over 25 yards. I know in the grand scheme of things preseason football doesn’t mean shit but I think it’d be good for the Browns and their fans if the first team offense looks semi competent and maybe, just maybe, can get into the end zone.

2. Is Johnny Manziel’s new Snickers commercial the best commercial of the year or of the decade?

The Budweiser Clydesdales, Terry Tate Office Linebacker, Cindy Crawford drinking a Pepsi, Johnny Manziel teaching aerobics. All-time classic commercials. Add this one to the list. Are there an Academy Awards for commercials? Because if so, Johnny just won them all.

3. Can Mike Pettine’s vaunted defense stop Jimmy Clausen and his cast of misfit toys offense?

The first team defense VASTLY underperformed vs. the Rams on Saturday, making teammates Shaun Hill and Austin Davis look like the 2nd coming of Joe Montana and Steve Young. The secondary got exposed and the front seven allowed Hill and Davis to sit in the pocket and sling it all over the field. Hopefully Pettine and DC Jim O’neill can draw up some blitzes to get to Jimmy Clausen and knock that stupid ugly look off his face.

4. Who will step up and claim the last receiver spot(s)?

Miles Austin, Andrew Hawkins, Nate Burleson (I think) and Travis Benjamin will all make the team. Now that Josh Gordon is officially not coming back, that means Charles Johnson, Willie Snead, Marlon Moore, and Taylor Gabriel are all fighting for the final spots. Gun to my head I say Charles Johnson and Willie Snead make the 53 man roster but we’ll see.

5. How sexy will Rex Grossman look in his Browns game uniform?

Answer: Real fucking sexy.

6. Can Johnny Manziel continue to progress?

The main thing I’ll be keeping an eye on is how comfortable Manziel looks on the field. I felt he made some good strides last week and hopefully he can continue to do just that. I’ll be extremely upset if he gets a rushing or passing touchdown and this isn’t his celebration:

7. Will the Browns go winless in the preseason?

I know I’ve preached time and time again that the preseason is pretty pointless but According to FootballOutsiders.com, 68 percent of winless teams go on to have a losing record in the regular season. Even if the Browns finish the preseason 1-3 it still looks A LOT better than having a zero in the win column. Hopefully tonight will be the first of 20 straight wins culminating in a Super Bowl trophy.