There are certain choices in your life that make so much sense that sometimes you tend to overthink things and end up making the wrong decision. Instead of sticking to the KISS principle, we always try to outdo ourselves and try to please everyone. This is one of those times. It doesn’t have to be. The answer is right here. Right in front of our faces.
Charlie Sheen aka Ricky Vaughn aka Wild Thing needs to throw out the first pitch before game one of the World Series. Case closed. No one else.
Just imagine the scene at Progressive Field when you hear that first chord to “Wild Thing,” the center field gate opens up, and you see Charlie Sheen emerge and jog to the pitcher’s mound in his thick rimmed glasses.
And you know Chuck would bring it. Forget about the curveball, he’s throwing the heater. The crowd (me because I’ll be there) would go absolutely bonkers and lose their shit. I tried to think of other worthy people, and there are a lot, but I don’t think someone else would elicit the same reaction as Sheen would.
OK, so maybe he doesn’t look as young as he used to
And mayyyyyybe he might have some little ailment they refer to as “HIV.” So what. As long as he doesn’t pull a Bauer and start leaking all over the mound, then it’s no harm no foul. It’s just Tiger Blood anyway.
The Tribe players have already adopted a “Major League” theme for this season, why not have it culminate with the Wild Thing throwing out the first pitch before the biggest game of their lives?
Other GREAT choices: Superpimp. Or Mall Guy. Or Leebow. Maybe even Johnny Manziel.