MMDB: Kevin Hogan’s Got Wheels, Hue Is Terrible With Timeouts, And The Browns Still Stink

Here’s to another edition of the Monday Morning Disappointment Blog. After a multi week hiatus because of laptop problems, we are back. Hue Jackson is back to making questionable coaching decisions, the defense is back to giving up big plays, and the offense is back to having another quarterback under center. Just another winless Cleveland Browns Sunday.

Let’s look at some Game Tape

Tim Couch was there

Vontaze Burfict continued his reign as the biggest scumbag in the NFL 


Cody Favre?


We realized that Kevin Hogan has some pretty gross upper arm hair

But if he’s gonna have runs like this, he can have all the arm hair in the world


Just watch the angle the safety takes on Jeremy Hill’s 74 yard touchdown and try not to puke on yourself. I think it was Ibraheim Campbell but I couldn’t make out the number


13 things I believe I believe

  1. You’re not going to believe this. Are you sitting down? OK good. The Browns gave up an opening drive touchdown to the other team. Shocking, I know. That makes 5 out of 7 games the Browns have started down 7-0 after the first possession. Not good!
  2. It’s a little problematic when your quarterback keeps getting knocked out of games. 5 different QBs under center (not counting Pryor) in 7 games is incredible. This has to be some sort of record.
  3. If Kevin Hogan is going to be in the NFL he’s going to have to wax/shave his upper arms, get some Under Armour or wear the Sam Bradford sleeves. Just can’t be a QB in 2016 and have that hair.
  4. The offensive playcalling failed to get Isaiah Crowell enough carries once again. 12 carries for The Crow while he’s averaging 5.3 per tote is not enough.
  5.  As of right now I’m not giving up Joe Thomas for anything less than a first round pick. Did you guys see the game last night between the Seahawks and Cardinals? Get a first rounder from one of them.
  6. The Browns need to win a game. Just one. Just fall ass backwards into a win. Please.
  7. If you’re in a survivor elimination league and pick against the Browns each week you’re in a pretty good spot. It’s such a simple but effective strategy.
  8. Have a day, Emmanuel Ogbah. 6 tackles, 2 sacks, 2 tackles for loss, and 2 QB hits. Not a bad day for the rook.
  9. I kind of hate the NFL for having the Browns play all of these early season games on the road thus robbing us of prime Muni Lot weather. Fuck you Goodell.
  10. Cam Erving is really not helping his public reputation by sitting out the second half with an “illness.” As of typing this, I’m not sure what illness he had but from judging from the reaction of Twitter, people aren’t too happy with him right now.
  11. Don’t quote me on this but I’m pretty sure the Browns have won exactly one game in the past calendar year (counting the preseason)
  12. So I skimmed through the Browns game last night at about 9 pm. Ya know, just seeing if there was anything important I missed and whatnot… And then I stumbled upon something that puzzled the shit outta me- What the hell was Hue Jackson thinking before the end of the first half? The Browns had the ball 4th and 3ish at the Bengals 38. Instead of trying for a long field goal or running a play to try and get the first down, the Browns let the clock run out and took a 5 yard penalty to back them up to the 43. Why? The Browns had some momentum at this point and they also, um, haven’t won a game this entire season. Why not go for it at this point? Hue is supposedly this aggressive offensive mastermind, surely he could draw up a play to get three yards. C’mon coach, you refer to yourself in the third person. Have some faith in your guys. If you don’t get it, fine. The Bengals get the ball at the 38. You’re 0-6.
  13. So the Browns ended up punting the ball and downing it at the 15. Not a very good punt. Whatever. At this point the Bengals weren’t moving the ball too well and it seemed like they would be happy to run a few plays, run out the clock, and go to halftime. Browns would get the ball to start the second half… The Bengals ran a play and gained 5 yards… AND THEN HUE CALLED A TIMEOUT. With under a minute left.  Did he suddenly realize his team is 0-6 and he should be aggressive? Why. Why stop the clock after a 5 yard run? It’d make sense to call a timeout if the stout Browns defense sacked Andy Dalton or tackled Jeremy Hill in the backfield. But after a 5 yard gain? And he only had 1 timeout after that. It’s not like the Browns could have gotten the ball back anyway. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY ZERO POINT IN CALLING THIS TIMEOUT. It was basically just for shits and giggles. I repeat. There. was. no. point. in. calling. this. timeout. they. couldn’t. have. gotten. the. ball. back. anyway… Now would the Bengals have completed that Hail Mary if Hue wouldn’t have called the timeout? Perhaps. But this team is so devoid of talent, they can’t afford bad coaching decisions if they want to stay in a game. I don’t know if anyone really noticed this at the time because I didn’t really see anyone else make a big deal about it, but it’s little bad decisions like this that can cost a team a game.

0-7. Bring on the God damn Jets.

Go Tribe

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