Tag Archives: cincinnati bengals

MMDB: Kevin Hogan’s Got Wheels, Hue Is Terrible With Timeouts, And The Browns Still Stink

Here’s to another edition of the Monday Morning Disappointment Blog. After a multi week hiatus because of laptop problems, we are back. Hue Jackson is back to making questionable coaching decisions, the defense is back to giving up big plays, and the offense is back to having another quarterback under center. Just another winless Cleveland Browns Sunday.

Let’s look at some Game Tape

Tim Couch was there

Vontaze Burfict continued his reign as the biggest scumbag in the NFL 


Cody Favre?


We realized that Kevin Hogan has some pretty gross upper arm hair

But if he’s gonna have runs like this, he can have all the arm hair in the world


Just watch the angle the safety takes on Jeremy Hill’s 74 yard touchdown and try not to puke on yourself. I think it was Ibraheim Campbell but I couldn’t make out the number


13 things I believe I believe

  1. You’re not going to believe this. Are you sitting down? OK good. The Browns gave up an opening drive touchdown to the other team. Shocking, I know. That makes 5 out of 7 games the Browns have started down 7-0 after the first possession. Not good!
  2. It’s a little problematic when your quarterback keeps getting knocked out of games. 5 different QBs under center (not counting Pryor) in 7 games is incredible. This has to be some sort of record.
  3. If Kevin Hogan is going to be in the NFL he’s going to have to wax/shave his upper arms, get some Under Armour or wear the Sam Bradford sleeves. Just can’t be a QB in 2016 and have that hair.
  4. The offensive playcalling failed to get Isaiah Crowell enough carries once again. 12 carries for The Crow while he’s averaging 5.3 per tote is not enough.
  5.  As of right now I’m not giving up Joe Thomas for anything less than a first round pick. Did you guys see the game last night between the Seahawks and Cardinals? Get a first rounder from one of them.
  6. The Browns need to win a game. Just one. Just fall ass backwards into a win. Please.
  7. If you’re in a survivor elimination league and pick against the Browns each week you’re in a pretty good spot. It’s such a simple but effective strategy.
  8. Have a day, Emmanuel Ogbah. 6 tackles, 2 sacks, 2 tackles for loss, and 2 QB hits. Not a bad day for the rook.
  9. I kind of hate the NFL for having the Browns play all of these early season games on the road thus robbing us of prime Muni Lot weather. Fuck you Goodell.
  10. Cam Erving is really not helping his public reputation by sitting out the second half with an “illness.” As of typing this, I’m not sure what illness he had but from judging from the reaction of Twitter, people aren’t too happy with him right now.
  11. Don’t quote me on this but I’m pretty sure the Browns have won exactly one game in the past calendar year (counting the preseason)
  12. So I skimmed through the Browns game last night at about 9 pm. Ya know, just seeing if there was anything important I missed and whatnot… And then I stumbled upon something that puzzled the shit outta me- What the hell was Hue Jackson thinking before the end of the first half? The Browns had the ball 4th and 3ish at the Bengals 38. Instead of trying for a long field goal or running a play to try and get the first down, the Browns let the clock run out and took a 5 yard penalty to back them up to the 43. Why? The Browns had some momentum at this point and they also, um, haven’t won a game this entire season. Why not go for it at this point? Hue is supposedly this aggressive offensive mastermind, surely he could draw up a play to get three yards. C’mon coach, you refer to yourself in the third person. Have some faith in your guys. If you don’t get it, fine. The Bengals get the ball at the 38. You’re 0-6.
  13. So the Browns ended up punting the ball and downing it at the 15. Not a very good punt. Whatever. At this point the Bengals weren’t moving the ball too well and it seemed like they would be happy to run a few plays, run out the clock, and go to halftime. Browns would get the ball to start the second half… The Bengals ran a play and gained 5 yards… AND THEN HUE CALLED A TIMEOUT. With under a minute left.  Did he suddenly realize his team is 0-6 and he should be aggressive? Why. Why stop the clock after a 5 yard run? It’d make sense to call a timeout if the stout Browns defense sacked Andy Dalton or tackled Jeremy Hill in the backfield. But after a 5 yard gain? And he only had 1 timeout after that. It’s not like the Browns could have gotten the ball back anyway. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY ZERO POINT IN CALLING THIS TIMEOUT. It was basically just for shits and giggles. I repeat. There. was. no. point. in. calling. this. timeout. they. couldn’t. have. gotten. the. ball. back. anyway… Now would the Bengals have completed that Hail Mary if Hue wouldn’t have called the timeout? Perhaps. But this team is so devoid of talent, they can’t afford bad coaching decisions if they want to stay in a game. I don’t know if anyone really noticed this at the time because I didn’t really see anyone else make a big deal about it, but it’s little bad decisions like this that can cost a team a game.

0-7. Bring on the God damn Jets.

Go Tribe

Cincinnati Bengals Cheerleader & Fanbase Gallery

The Browns travel to Cincinnati today in a game no one wants to watch and for every opponent the Browns play, we put together a photo gallery of the other team’s cheerleaders and fanbase. The pics could be funny, weird, hot, disturbing, etc. Here are what the fine fans of the Bengals look like:

MMDB: Burning Jerseys, Sad Kids, Bagheads, Sad Shirts, Pettine Pays For Tinder, And Empty Parking Lots

MMDB: Monday Morning Disappointment Blog

(no affiliation and not a ripoff of anything SI does every Monday, I swear)

So instead of actually recapping the game yesterday we’re going to put together a disappointment blog. Not much to work with when your only highlights are a Gary Barnidge 24 yard catch and an Isaiah Crowell 23 yard run. There’s nothing worth reliving that happened in the actual game but there were so many things that happened in Cleveland off of it.

Lets go:

This was The Pit around 3 hours before kickoff. Couple empty spots there.

via @bootsycollins6
via @bootsycollins6

We had hooligans running around on the field before the game even started. Unfortunately, this was the most rushing Cleveland would see all day

“Cleveland Curse 216”

#browns #cle #clevelandcurse216

A photo posted by Iris Goode (@goodeiris) on

We had a guy at Barley House who was literally giving away a prize package to someone if they would just please come and take his tickets

Thankfully some brave soul snatched up the tickets and swag

This guy didn’t even bother giving his tickets away

Even the shirts were sad

The stadium was packed before the game

Embedded image permalink

Some go getter said “Fuck yo concessions” and brought pizza into the stadium

via @dennyschultz2
via @dennyschultz2

The bagheads were out in full force

Team Spirit at the Browns game!

A photo posted by Micho Sahlani (@michosahlani) on

And then this happened 😔

A photo posted by Coop (@larry_coop) on

Embedded image permalink

Biggest pet peeve: Wearing a jersey of a team that’s not even playing. Makes no sense.

I probably would too

via @linder_seattle
via @linder_seattle

I really do have a special place in my heart for the diehards who dress up only to have their hearts stomped into oblivion every Sunday

I think we can all agree you’re a Grade A loser if you pay for Tinder. Nevermind his coaching record, paying for Tinder is a fireable offense by itself.

via @cazremmos
via @cazremmos

Love this guy

via @fritz_dacat
via @fritz_dacat


This dude had an entire row to himself if he wanted it

Some advice to all Browns fans out there: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER in your life buy season tickets. Worst investment ever. Buy them for a little above face value on Stubhub for the first 4 home games when there’s still hope. When November and December roll around you’ll be able to buy them for $7.00.

via @bobferrato
via @bobferrato


Johnny and Jordan Poyer’s girlfriends were interested in the game. Don’t blame them one bit, sometimes you have to create your own fun.

Half time feat. @maddi_elyse 🤓

A video posted by Colleen Crowley (@coll_crowley) on

This pic really hit home for me. Damn I feel bad for this guy. As a 27 year old I’ve never seen a winning football team so I don’t know what it feels like. I’m able to laugh off losses. These are the people I feel sorry for though- the 40 and overs who have actually seen this team win and know what the playoffs feel like.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Embedded image permalink

The fans were not impressed by the clock management

Using XXXL paper bags was a nice touch

via @chrisw31ch

It finally happened. The Browns finally lost a superfan for life. Let’s pour one out for Captain Cleveland.

pour one out asap asap crew rip yams

C’mon, you at least have to take the free stuff…

Good grief.

Embedded image permalink

The 4th quarter came and the place was packed and jumping!

Embedded image permalink

This little kid learned a good lesson yesterday. Nothing like a little father-son bonding time to teach what the term “disappointment” means.

Embedded image permalink

I mean…. damn

Embedded image permalink

Well, the game ended and we started burning jerseys

I wonder how many texts this phone number gets like this per game


via @BeardOfWonder
via @BeardOfWonder


Anyone need a real estate agent?

via @usatsportsimage
via @usatsportsimage


Helluva day at FirstEnergy Stadium.

2-10. On to San Francisco.


Play us out, Adele!