Tag Archives: review

Browns MMDB: Monday Morning Disappointment Blog. Only 1 Game Out Of First Place!

Well.

That sucked.

Giving up 29 points and 278 yards passing to a rookie quarterback whom your coach and front office deemed “not good enough” to draft is certainly a shitty way to open your season.

Botched fake punts, snaps over your quarterbacks head, Pro Bowl cornerbacks getting burned…

No rhythm on offense, 12 passes completed, a QB rating of 55…

I don’t know what we should’ve expected but I know it should’ve been better than what happened on the field yesterday. This was one of the more “winnable” games on the schedule AND THEY STILL LOST BY 19.

Let’s look at the game tape

ESPN’s Charles Woodson bold prediction was that Terrelle Pryor would go for 1,800 yards. Why you gotta troll us like that, Charles?

 

RG3 and this hairstyle showed up. Should’ve known at that point that we were in for a rough day

 

Joe Thomas carrying the flag out might’ve been the highlight of the whole day… Chances Joe is traded by the end of the season? I’d say 65%

 

There’s a lot of custom jerseys I don’t understand but this might take the cake as the weirdest custom jersey I’ve seen

 

One of the bright spots of the day

 

The Browns tried a fake punt that fooled absolutely nobody and actually lost 5 yards

 

 

AND THERE WERE ONLY 10 PLAYERS ON THE FIELD

 

Replacement refs?

 

Corey Coleman’s first NFL catch went for 58 yards.

 

RG3 flashed a little bit of rookie RG3. Would have liked to see some more read option/designed QB runs/bootlegs & rollouts from our offensive genius coaches

 

Robert. Why the hell are you doing this?

 

Jason Peters caught Ryan Mathews in mid air like it was nothing. One of the better stops on an Eagles running back all day.

 

 

Couple quick thoughts

-Gary Barnidge was pretty disappointing with 2 uncharacteristic drops. Can’t have one of our experienced pass catchers be the one dropping passes.

-Thought our offensive line played pretty well for the most part. Good pass protection and gave RG3 sufficient time in the pocket and clear passing lane

-As for the Cam Erving snap… Shit happens. Sometimes the snap goes over the QB’s head. Sometimes the QB drops the shotgun snap. Bad turnovers happen to every team in almost every game. Unfortunately this was the turning point in the game. The Browns cannot let one play ruin the entire game and have everything spiral out of control. Gotta be better than that.

-Twelve consecutive week one losses is actually incredible. Nothing you can really do except laugh.

-Bright spots: Nassib, Ogbah, Pryor, Kirksey, Duke, Coleman

-The Browns had the ball for 20:40 and the Eagles had the ball for 39:20. Gonna be a loooonnnnggg season if the opposing team doubles us in time of possession every game.

-These stupid formations are a lot more fun when they actually work

-Thought the first series for Carson Wentz was too good to be true and that he wouldn’t be able keep it up if the plays weren’t scripted for him. Whoops! Imagine when the Browns face non rookie QBs this year.

-The Browns have this habit of ruining every other game in the NFL. The Giants-Cowboys game was great and the Patriots-Cardinals game was awesome but I couldn’t enjoy either one because the Browns had already ruined my day.

-I don’t know why I was prepared for anything different. The Browns are going to stink this year by design but I was not expecting that. That said, I’m going to try my hardest this season to focus on the development of our young players rather than focusing on the final score and outcome of the games. It’s going to be hard but if we judge this team only by wins and losses I might actually lose my mind and swear off football altogether. This team is going to lose and lose a lot.

Gonna need a lot of alcohol this season

See you next week in the Muni Lot.

We’re on to Baltimore

 

 

 

Quick Food Review: McDonald’s Mac & Cheese And McDonald’s Mozzarella Sticks

So if you were following along on the Bottlegate Twitter account last night, you’ll know that I went to my local McDonald’s and tried out a couple new menu items. I totally lucked out, the location on Mayfield Road and 271 is one of the 18 locations in the Cleveland area that sells mac and cheese. I originally went in to get some chicken McNuggets to eat during the Cavs-Nuggets game because apparently that’s a thing that people do. To my delight, the old man in front of me ordered mac and cheese which opened the door for me. I got mac and cheese, 3 mozzarella sticks, and 10 McNuggets.

Oh, and I also stopped at Burger King right before for a Double Whopper. Hey, we only have a few days before our New Years Resolutions, might as well get all the shit food in now.

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Mozzarella Sticks

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I can honestly say that besides the introduction of Taco Bell’s breakfast, I’ve never been more excited for a fast food item to hit the menu. Sigh. It was a complete letdown. It was like a Browns season- So much hope at the beginning (when you’re ordering), that turns into apprehension (seeing the sticks in real life), that turns into disappointment and regret (after the Baltimore kick-six). The mozz sticks were VERY underwhelming. Small, cold, not a lot of flavor. They were honestly the size of a toddler’s finger, not the size of a good stick from somewhere like Applebee’s. I’m willing to give McD’s the benefit of the doubt that maybe I got a bad batch, but I gave them a 3/10. I’ll try them again but as of right now it’s not looking promising for the Mickey D’s mozzarella sticks.

Final Grade: 3 out of 10

Mac & Cheese

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Now for the good stuff. Looks are definitely deceiving. The above picture looks like a bunch of cheese covered in a plastic film. But I don’t know any other way to put it- McDonald’s knocked it outta the damn park with the mac and cheese recipe. Macaroni noodles were soft and melted in your mouth and the cheese was cheesy and delicious. I know it’s probably injected full of hormones, chemicals, preservatives, and steroids, but the shit was still DELICIOUS.

I slept on it and I think I’m ready to officially give McD’s mac and cheese a 9 out of 10. It was surprisingly good and I came away feeling pretty satisfied with my purchase. It gets a 9.5 if they quit serving it in cups made for toddlers and actually give us adults a normal serving size.

Final grade: 9 out of 10

I will definitely be getting more mac and cheese in the future.

MMDB: Burning Jerseys, Sad Kids, Bagheads, Sad Shirts, Pettine Pays For Tinder, And Empty Parking Lots

MMDB: Monday Morning Disappointment Blog

(no affiliation and not a ripoff of anything SI does every Monday, I swear)

So instead of actually recapping the game yesterday we’re going to put together a disappointment blog. Not much to work with when your only highlights are a Gary Barnidge 24 yard catch and an Isaiah Crowell 23 yard run. There’s nothing worth reliving that happened in the actual game but there were so many things that happened in Cleveland off of it.

Lets go:

This was The Pit around 3 hours before kickoff. Couple empty spots there.

via @bootsycollins6
via @bootsycollins6

We had hooligans running around on the field before the game even started. Unfortunately, this was the most rushing Cleveland would see all day

“Cleveland Curse 216”

View this post on Instagram

#browns #cle #clevelandcurse216

A post shared by Iris Goode (@goodeiris) on

We had a guy at Barley House who was literally giving away a prize package to someone if they would just please come and take his tickets

Thankfully some brave soul snatched up the tickets and swag

This guy didn’t even bother giving his tickets away

Even the shirts were sad

The stadium was packed before the game

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Some go getter said “Fuck yo concessions” and brought pizza into the stadium

via @dennyschultz2
via @dennyschultz2

The bagheads were out in full force

https://www.instagram.com/p/–XRCNvvwA/

https://www.instagram.com/p/-9hHTas1Gn/

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Biggest pet peeve: Wearing a jersey of a team that’s not even playing. Makes no sense.

I probably would too

via @linder_seattle
via @linder_seattle

I really do have a special place in my heart for the diehards who dress up only to have their hearts stomped into oblivion every Sunday

I think we can all agree you’re a Grade A loser if you pay for Tinder. Nevermind his coaching record, paying for Tinder is a fireable offense by itself.

via @cazremmos
via @cazremmos

Love this guy

1
via @fritz_dacat
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via @fritz_dacat

 

This dude had an entire row to himself if he wanted it

Some advice to all Browns fans out there: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER in your life buy season tickets. Worst investment ever. Buy them for a little above face value on Stubhub for the first 4 home games when there’s still hope. When November and December roll around you’ll be able to buy them for $7.00.

via @bobferrato
via @bobferrato

 

Johnny and Jordan Poyer’s girlfriends were interested in the game. Don’t blame them one bit, sometimes you have to create your own fun.

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Half time feat. @maddi_elyse ūü§ď

A post shared by Colleen Crowley (@coll_crowley) on

This pic really hit home for me. Damn I feel bad for this guy. As a 27 year old I’ve never seen a winning football team so I don’t know what it feels like. I’m able to laugh off losses. These are the people I feel sorry for though- the 40 and overs who have actually seen this team win and know what the playoffs feel like.

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The fans were not impressed by the clock management

Using XXXL paper bags was a nice touch

paperbags
via @chrisw31ch

It finally happened. The Browns finally lost a superfan for life. Let’s pour one out for Captain Cleveland.

pour one out asap asap crew rip yams

C’mon, you at least have to take the free stuff…

Good grief.

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The 4th quarter came and the place was packed and jumping!

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This little kid learned a good lesson yesterday. Nothing like a little father-son bonding time to teach what the term “disappointment” means.

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I mean…. damn

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Well, the game ended and we started burning jerseys

I wonder how many texts this phone number gets like this per game

THINGS ARE FINE! THINGS ARE FINE!

via @BeardOfWonder
via @BeardOfWonder

 

Anyone need a real estate agent?

via @usatsportsimage
via @usatsportsimage

 

Helluva day at FirstEnergy Stadium.

2-10. On to San Francisco.

 

Play us out, Adele!