All posts by Mike

Snoop Dogg is back to bitching about the Steelers

I guess when you’re not getting into bitch fits with Iggy Azalea on Instagram you have to turn your attention to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Can someone please tell Snoop that Roethlisberger just threw for like 50 TDs combined in the past 2 weeks and that even shitty teams in the NFL can beat good teams? Relax bro. Didn’t the Steelers lose to the winless Buccaneers earlier this year? He should know better. Oh nevermind, he complained about that too. Poor Snoop. I wonder how he likes the AFC North standings?

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In the dumbest video you’ll see all day, crazy lady says Monster Energy drinks are the work of Satan

Well that was… AWESOME. I had no idea Monster Energy drinks were the work of the Antichrist. You learn something new everyday I guess. Back in college I used to pound these babies, averaged about 2 a day (Only the blue ones though, had to watch my figure obvs). I had no idea I was supporting the prince of darkness by slugging these back Friday mornings after a Thirsty Thursday. And now that I know that I’m literally drinking the devil’s blood once I crack open a can, you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna go to Speedway and grab a couple more cans just for kicks. If that’s supporting the devil then whatever, guess I”ll change my name to Lucifer too while I’m at it.***

What’s next? Are you going to tell me the “Bull” in “Red Bull” is actually the Devil’s pet bull? Or that Amp energy drink is sinful because it has the letter “A” in it… you know what else has the letter A in it? SATAN. And it has two A’s! Amp is Satan. Satan is Amp.
Bull Devil

Now admittedly I’m not the biggest Religion guy, and that’s fine. If you’re someone that goes to church every Sunday that’s fine too, more power to you. I have a problem with this lady however. To know that there actual, living, breathing people in this world that believe this sort of stuff in the video is just mind boggling to me. It’s nuts that someone that age who probably has a family and children can honestly stand there and say to you with a straight face “Bottoms up. And the devil laughs.”

You know there’s some backwoods family from Alabama who just outlawed all energy drinks in their household because of this video too. “That gosh darn lady there in them youtube movies said the “M” in “Monster” isn’t connected and it stands for 666!” Sucks for that trailer because Monsters are delicious.

Pretty sure I saw this lady before though when she played the mom from The Waterboy:

PS: “Do you know what a MILF is?” was laugh out loud funny

PPS: This is 100% only going to make people want to drink Monster more so this lady’s master plan blew up right in her face

*** Bottlegate.com does not support the devil.