Category Archives: Browns

Browns

Browns-Titans Monday Game Tape; Undefeated At Home

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Oh shit.

https://twitter.com/mikedyce/status/645688034801942528

Hey guys! Sup? Anything good happen yesterday? Any quarterbacks with #2 on their jersey play? Any guys named “Johnny” finish  8-15 for 172 yards and 2 TDs? Did anyone have  a 133.9 QB Rating? Was it the highest QB rating for a Browns player since 2007? Is that good? Did he break it? Are we still alive? Has anyone given him an ounce of credit? No? OK. The more things change the more they stay the same.

Johnny played well yesterday, folks, and if you think otherwise “your a idiot.” The offense as a whole was OK. 3 offensive touchdowns, a special teams touchdown, and no turnovers. Not going to lose many games like that. We actually had some semblance of a running game and that was pretty pretty cool to see.

The defense harassed Golden Boy Marcus all. day. long. 7 sacks and about a BILLION pressures and hits. It was a rough go for the NFL’s new flavor of the week. He looked off his game in the first half and you could tell every time he dropped back to pass he knew in the back of his mind that he’d be getting hit. The Browns mentally beat down Mariota until the clock hit zero. Seeing it live in the stands was delightful. The Browns were able to corral him and make sure he didn’t come close to the game he had last week.

Gee, I don’t know, maybe it’s stupid to crown or rip apart young quarterbacks in their first couple of starts?

1-1 let’s look at the damn game tape

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The day started off with a few ISIS and Jay-Z jokes

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The colors were flying high and proud

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Then the keg bowling started

And we took some shots

And a guy jumped off of a roof

We hula hoop harder than you party. In the least pervy sounding way possible, I was absolutely mesmerized by this showmanship

Spotted on the way to the stadium:

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Inside the stadium was even more fun when Manziel hit Travis Benjamin on a 60 yard bomb in stride

Crow found his way to the goal line for 6

https://twitter.com/sopitasdeportes/status/645653991301480448

The defense was allllll over Mariota all game. Welcome to the NFL kid, now go pick up your helmet and shoe

Travis Benjamin caught a punt, dipped and dodged, and scampered his way in the end zone with under a minute left to play in the first half. HUUUGEE to go into half with a 21 point lead. You knew the game was basically over when this happened

I know how it feels when your punter gets embarrassed (Spencer Lanning/Antonio Brown) but if you’re the Titans punter do you even show your face today?

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Tennessee scored a few TDs on a couple nice throws from Mariota in the second half (that throw to DGB was a beaut) but the Browns were able to put one last touchdown on the board when this happened:

Big boy play right there at a crucial moment. It was great to be there live.

Johnny Postgame

https://twitter.com/FredGreetham/status/645699308814118916

Couple quick thoughts:

  • The Muni Lot remains my favorite place in the world
  • Getting through the gate into the game took about 3 seconds. Very impressed by how much less waiting there is in the lines to get into the stadium.
  • I wasn’t able to re-watch the game but a few defensive players that stood out during the game were Armonty Bryant, Desmond Bryant, Craig Robertson, and Tramon Williams.
  • Even though they gave up 50 more yards more in week 2, the defense was MUCH better this game.
  • Giving up 166 yards on the ground is still unacceptable though.
  • The Browns only had a 24 minute time of possession. Guess that’s what happens when you throw 50 & 60 yard touchdowns. Would like to see the offense put together a nice, grind it out 10 play 75 yard scoring drive.
  • Things seem to be going pretty pretty well with Dwayne Bowe.
  • Have a day, Rabbit
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  • Johnny has undoubtedly progressed in every game we’ve seen him play this year. If he can continue to do that…. then we may have a quarterback?
  • No turnovers, timely throws, 2 long touchdowns, 28 points (special team aided)… what more could you want out of a guy in his 3rd career start?

See you guys next Sunday at 7 am in the Muni Lot

#OnToOakland

 

Browns

Paul Kruger jumped in a pond to save his puppy from drowning

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If ever there was a football game that was over before it even started, it’s the Browns and Titans on Sunday. Holy shit. Don’t even bother showing up you Music City manginas . Paul Kruger jumped in a pond to save his puppy from drowning and you think you’re gonna come into the DAWG POUND and win a football game? No shot. It’s very basic science, really. Our mascot is a dog. Kruger saved a dog’s life. Thus, Kruger is going to save our season on Sunday. KRUGER JUMPED INTO A POND TO SAVE THE BROWNS.

See you dawgs in the Muni. Find us, maybe get one of these puppies. I am on FIRE.

koozie

Browns

Your Cleveland Browns Week 1 Heroes And Zeroes

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Totally new and original concept here on Bottlegate dot com. Every Tuesday or so we’ll be posting what was good and what was bad about the Browns game from Sunday. You could say we’re a bunch of Internet content trailblazers and you’d probably be right.

As you may have guessed, there are A LOT of zeroes when you lose 31-10.

And we’re off!

 

HEROES

Andy Lee: When you start a blog post about what was good about the Browns on Sunday and it leads off with the punter, you know you’re in for a treat. Like I said in the Game Tape, Andy Lee has a fucking bazooka as a leg. Just look at these numbers:

via @wjcgibson
via @wjcgibson

Might even have to get me a Lee jersey.

 

Brian Hartline: 2 catches for 20 yards doesn’t do anything to make it move but that one hander was super nice. Also, we need to have a serious talk. If I hear one more person refer to Hartline as a “professional,” I’m going to blow my brains out.

Travis Benjamin: 3 catches 89 yards with a 54 yard bomb from Manziel. Travis carried his solid preseason over to game one. He’s on pace for 1,424 receiving yards and 16 touchdowns this season. He’ll obviously probably get that.

 

1st half Johnny Manziel: Manziel ended the first half 4-6 for 93 yards 1 TD and had a 149.3 passer rating. He looked in control and confident. I’d murder someone if my quarterback could put up those numbers every half.

Austin Davis: If McCown is unable to go on Sunday then we’ll be one play away from Austin Davis leading us to the promised land.

Physics and gravity: We all know F=MA so when Josh McCown is running full speed and a 6’2 240 linebacker is running full speed, the linebacker will usually win. Add in the fact that McCown was airborne which means the linebacker will always win and Josh will always get a concussion.

The Muni Lot: Heard from our Snapchat correspondents that the Jets tailgate scene sucks and the Muni Lot shits on whatever thing they do outside of MetLife. No surprise. Lose the game, win the party. Always.

ZEROES

2nd half Johnny Manziel: 9-18 89 yards one interception and two fumbles. The ol’ Jekyll and Hyde. Obviously the lack of running game hurt our passing attack but Johnny has to take care of the football. This team can’t afford to have 3 turnovers in a half. 99% of teams in the NFL can’t afford to have 3 turnovers in a half.

Joe Haden: Brandon Marshall didn’t put up huge numbers but there was a stretch in the 3rd quarter when everything was snowballing and we needed someone to make a play on defense. Instead, Brandon Marshall started big dicking around and decided to catch everything thrown his way. Marshall only finished with 6 catches for 62 yards receiving but it was the timing of those catches while being guarded by Haden that really stood out.

Offensive line: Yuck. Puke. The Jets have a very formidable front seven but there were no holes to be seen. When your leading rushers are your quarterbacks when they scramble, you know your rushing offense needs work.

My friends who went to NYC for the weekend: Hey idiots way to waste all your money just to see the Browns lose by 21 points! Hope that Saturday morning 6:30 am flight out of Akron-Canton was worth it, chumps.

Pass rush: It’ll be a lonnnngggg season if the defense is unable to put pressure on the quarterback. If we give Flacco, Dalton, or Big Ben the time we gave Fitzpatrick on Sunday we won’t win one divisional game. Pass rush needs to step up in a big way next weekend when they go up against a rookie quarterback.

Anyone who watched: Self explanatory. We’re all zeroes.

My waistline: When the Browns lose I get depressed. When I get depressed I eat and drink beer as a coping mechanism. Don’t think the Browns win many games this season so my 10-15 lb weight gain in the fall is inevitable. When November and December roll around I’ll have a beard and be permanently living in baggy hoodies. Can’t see a double chin under a beard or fat rolls under baggy hoodies.

 

Bring on the Titans!