I’ve been saying it for years now- How Mike Polk isn’t more nationally known is an American tragedy. By far one of the funniest guys in America today. I saw him do stand up at the Willoughby Brewing Company last year and it was incredible. Coupled with about 11 pumpkin beers (girly boy, I know) and him rattling off joke after joke I almost threw up all over the lady in front of me. Whatevs. She shouldn’t have been sitting in the splash zone.
“Their defense is old and broken and their 40 year old sex offender quarterback has no cartilage left in his body.”
This picture. NAILED IT.
Here are links to his other classics for good measure:
Johnny Manziel has owned a few cars in the last several years. He caught parking tickets at Texas A&M in a Mercedes C-Class, tooled about Cleveland at least once in a 2014 Nissan TitanSL and, according to TMZ, reportedly purchased a 2015 Nissan GT-R. One of these has to go, and it would appear the Titan was part of a trade-in Manziel finagled to get the GT-R.
Manziel’s old ride could be your gain, however, as Airport Nissan of Cleveland is selling the truck online with a listed price of $45,720.
Yep, that’ll do just fine. This truck might as well be ours. In Bottlegate’s never ending quest to take over the Cleveland sports landscape we’ve come across the usual must have items but NOTHING tops Johnny Manziel’s signed Nissan Titan. We’re HUUUUGGEE Johnny Football fans at BG so this would just be the icing on the cake. I didn’t even know this existed five minutes ago and now I’ve never needed anything more in my life. Can you imagine whipping around East 9th with this baby? “See that sig right there on the dash? That’s Johnny Manziel’s, maybe you’ve heard of him. He’s only the most electrifying college football player ever, a Hollywood heartthrob, and a former Heisman Trophy winner.”
So this is what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna set up a GoFundMe project, and you’re gonna donate to it. It’s a win-win for everyone. You donate to a good cause and get the proverbial pat on the back, and I get a sweet ride. $20 equals a 10 minute ride in the truck; $50 equals an hour drive; $100 you can tailgate in the muni lot with the truck; $500 I’ll let you drive it and take a picture of the signature: $1,000 you can borrow the truck for a day.
Click the picture and give me your money plz & thx
Cleveland.com– MAPLE HEIGHTS, Ohio — Three Maple Heights parents left five children unattended at a home on the 14000 block of Corrindon Avenue to tailgate at the Sept. 21 Browns game, police reports say.The children were between the ages of seven and 10.
A Maple Heights police officer went to the house around 2:45 p.m. after one of the children dialed 911 and hung up. The child told police he called because the group was having an argument.
The 9-year-old child told the officer that he and the other children had been at the house alone for several hours because their parents, 28-year-old Rashad Williams Sr., 28-year-old Shauntia Williams and 29-year-old Valerie Norris went to the Browns game to tailgate.
Coolest parents ever or coolest parents EVER? Are you kidding me, being alone for several hours with your buddies is probably the highlight of these kids’ young lives. I can’t even imagine the shenanigans I would’ve gotten into if I was left alone all day when I was 9. If this was me I’d spend my day doing a couple of things:
1. Search the house far and wide for any candy and smash it all. If there’s no candy I’d turn my sights to whatever pop was in the house.
2. See what kind of Rated R movies I could watch on HBO or Showtime (hopefully there’s nudity because seeing nudity when you’re 9 is like the coolest thing ever).
3. Build the most elaborate fort in the world. If you didn’t build forts when you were little you probably didn’t have many friends and/or grew up to like Lorde.
4. Order a pizza. While the pizza boy was outside my door I’d turn up the volume on the TV and have a mob movie playing in the background. When the pizza boy gave me ‘tude I’d have the movie perfectly sync up to seem like there were gunshots being fired. Ha! What a million dollar idea, don’t know how no one has ever thought of this.
And finally…
5. Empty my piggy bank onto my bedroom floor and swim around all of my change like I’m Scrooge McDuck. Anyone who says they didn’t dream of doing this while growing up is a flat out liar and someone you can’t trust.
This video clips perfectly illustrates how I pictured the conversation between each parent to go
“Uh the 10 year old is watching the 9 year old who’s watching the 8 year old who’s watching the 7 year old.”
Bottlegate 