From newsnet5.com:

“WILLOUGHBY, Ohio – Two people found intoxicated in a parked car by Willoughby police over the weekend thought they were in Pennsylvania. 

According to Willoughby police, officers responded Sunday for a report of a suspicious car parked in the area of Lost Nation Road and State Route 2 around 5:30 a.m.

When officers got there, they found a Chevrolet Trax stopped in the center turn lane. 

The female driver and male passenger were passed out with a bottle of whiskey in between them, according to police.

Police said both thought they were in Pennsylvania when they were arrested. They said they were heading to Pymatuning State Park.”

That sure is something man. I’ve had many a morning where I’ve woken up without my bearings but that usually goes away within like 10 seconds. Oh and also it comes after I had shut it down for the night and been sleeping for hours. This girl had a BAC of .194 at 5:30 AM and was sitting behind the wheel of a stopped car (not parked!) in the center lane of the road. Jack Daniels 1, these two idiots 0.

So the woman driver is from Elizabeth, PA and the passenger is from West Newton, PA. Looks like she would have had to backtrack about 15 minutes to go swoop her boyfriend, who I’m just going to assume either has a suspended license or hasn’t been able to crack that damn driver’s test yet.

They said they were on their way to Pymatunig State Park. I was completely prepared to go into this whole long thing about how they must have been telling the truth because nobody makes up a story about going to a weirdly specific place that no one has ever heard of, but turns out this place is actually the biggest state park in Pennsylvania, so, now you know. Regardless, it’s a little over two hours away from them.

And here’s where they lose me. It’d be one thing if it was just one road and they missed the exit and accidentally drove for another hour or so. I guess that’d be pretty easy to do given what this chick’s BAC was just before sunrise the next day. But this was 76W to I-376 to PA 18-N to US-322 W to OH-86N to 44N to Route 2. At what point do you think the guy finally snapped and stopped trying to help with directions? Absolutely was passed out well before Painesville.

In all seriousness though, these two are idiots and shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle again for a very long time.