Mishmash- FHM’s sexiest woman of 2015; Jon Jones stripped of title; 55 oz. burger in 2 minutes

Cleveland pic of the day

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FHM just named Michelle Keegan as the Sexiest Woman of 2015

The Official FHM 100 Sexiest Women In The World 2015: #1 Michelle Keegan

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Jon Jones was stripped of his title and suspended indefinitely by the UFC

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 If you have some time, this story of Brady Quinn’s fall on draft day is a great read

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Final Mad Max trailer

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A dude went to his wife’s friend’s house and shot him for Facebook messaging his wife

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This woman is a god damn national treasure. Watch her eat a 55 oz. burger in 2 minutes

Last night on Twitter we asked who the Browns should draft. It didn’t go so well.

So last night on Twitter after the Indians had lost their fourth straight game, I decided to try and rev up a little discussion about the Browns and the upcoming NFL Draft. Ya know, something to get our minds off of the Tribe and how shitty they’ve been playing lately. I tried to spark up some conversation and  get a feel on what the fine people of Cleveland wanted their football team to do on Thursday. Little did I know what I was walking into. I unexpectedly walked right into a giant spiderweb filled with sarcastic assholes (my favorite type of asshole).

The answers ranged everywhere from serious answers like “Leonard Williams” to “Does it matter?” to “Colt McCoy”

Also, if you’re not following @Bottlegate on Twitter, you’re a boob.

Let’s go through the responses:

https://twitter.com/MRuttig67/status/593228575748173825

A couple years ago I would’ve agreed with you. Not this year. Don’t want “RG-ME” (cc:pftcommeter) on my team.

https://twitter.com/MarronMatt/status/593228914996056065

Can Scott Atchison fill the A gap and make a tackle behind the line of scrimmage? Can Cody Allen catch a punt?

Got a decent amount of Indians responses which I wasn’t expecting at all.

Agreed. Football players who are on the football field are generally a good thing.

https://twitter.com/M_Bauer10/status/593229686890717185

Two very good qualifications to have if you want to play in today’s NFL.

Low blow, bro. Low blow.

https://twitter.com/huffer_24/status/593229728582115328

Really trying to convince myself that I don’t want DGB and I can’t do it. I want him and I want him bad. Sorry, some men just want to watch the world burn.

https://twitter.com/thespazdawg/status/593229886501818369

He’s probably a little too old & slow right now but can you imagine Perk at DT or DE about 6-7 years ago? THAT would be fun.

https://twitter.com/nolreb937/status/593230229725843456

What’s one more quarterback? Bring him in!

Another quarterback? SIGN HIM UP!

https://twitter.com/j_spacek/status/593231249998753793

Have you guys seen Coach Blatt’s daughters? Not bad. Not bad at all. (related: I actually have no idea if these are his daughters but this pic is floating around Twitter and everyone assumes they’re his daughters so they’re his daughters)

Embedded image permalink

https://twitter.com/fieds69/status/593232608382820352

True. Tim Couch has a wayyy brighter future than Donovan McNabb. Also another quarterback. BRING HIM IN!

Big, strong, good hands. Used to the cold midwest weather. BRING HIM IN!

https://twitter.com/msms792012/status/593233828316991488

DING DING DING!

gary busey animated GIF

Now we get into 3 of the more depressing responses of the night:

Yes. But no. But yes. It does matter. I need a new jersey.

Damn. That one hit all 3 teams at once. Not gonna lie, this stung a bit. Not sure if 48 beers are enough.

And now for the most depressing response of the whole night:

https://twitter.com/cycle_jim/status/593228680765267968

What makes this so depressing is that it’s probably true.

See you Thursday!!!

sad animated GIF

At least we’re not Milwaukee: Tribe Notes 4/28

18 games into the 2015 season and your Cleveland Indians have six wins. 97% of the 30 Major League Baseball teams have more than that (the Brewers are the only team with less). Take those six instances where we accidentally had more runs than the other team at the end of the game, add one, and that’s how many games we are out of first place in the AL Central. Our .232 team batting average puts us at 21st in the majors. In terms of offensive WAR, the good guys have posted a 0.7 for the entire team. So if we dumped our entire squad and replaced them with league average players, we’d pretty much have the exact same record. Our ace gave up 6 earned runs and struck out 25 batters in his first three starts. He got zero, six (bullpen gave up 7) and two runs of support. Since then he’s given up ten earned runs in two starts. The good news is, our defense has improved. After being last in the league in every measurable statistic in 2014, the Tribe defense has absolutely blown the doors off the place with a -1.7 UZR this season. 0 is considered average.

In all seriousness though, one of the most encouraging parts to this dismal start has been Trevor Bauer. He’s currently 2-0 with a 0.95 ERA, 1.00 WHIP and 26 strikeouts in 19 innings. And not only have his starts been one of the few things to look forward to when watching the Tribe, he’s hijacking your TV sets on his off days with some Grade A Royals trolling:

bauer

 

Get it? Cause the Royals got in a brawl with the White Sox last week? Oh Trevor, you slay me.

A couple more thoughts heading into tonight’s 6:10er:

  • Tell you what, I’ve been sort of trolling the #FreeLindor movement for quite some time now, but I’m beginning to question whether or not I should be. As it stands today, April 28, I’m still not on the Lindor bandwagon. But I might start checking ticket prices online. Jose Ramirez isn’t hitting a lick, and he already has as many errors (4) in 16 games this season than he had in 56 games in 2014. I’m certainly not ready to give up on him, and I know Tito isn’t either. I’ve always thought the best move when they bring him up would be to shift Jose to 2B and Kipnis, a former NCAA All-American outfielder, to RF. This would free Brandon Moss to DH, and I’m sorry Jerry Sands, I was there for your two double show, it was magical, but teams are going to throw as many lefties as they can against this club and you really shouldn’t be getting regular major league ABs. Lindor is finally starting to hit the ball in Columbus (.284/.360/.403) and we all already know his glove is ready. I’m not saying the next time I tweet #FreeLindor I’ll be 100% serious. But I’m getting pretty close.
  • Two other semi-bright spots so far have been mini-renaissances of Mike Aviles and Ryan Raburn. Handsome Mike has a couple bombs, a 6/3 BB/K and an OBP of .366 while doing some time in the 2 hole. Raburn has been able to get back to hitting lefties, posting a .385 clip with a bomb and 8 RBI against them. You were counting on comeback years from Kip and Swish, but so far it’s been Aviles and Raburn.
  • The Miami Marlins designated catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia for assignment yesterday, just over a year into the 3-year, $21 million deal he inked with the club in 2014. They have ten days to find a suitable trade partner, which apparently they’re already well into the process of doing, or the backstop will become a free agent. He’s been absolutely brutal this season (2-33 at the dish) and last year was a disappointment as well (.220, 11 HR, 44 RBI), but the guy hit 55 bombs from 2011-13 in Boston and hits from both sides of the plate (although I waited until right now in the blog to look at his splits and he is about one thousand times better hitting left handed). Salty played for Tito in 2011, so there’s some history there. The Marlins will have to eat quite a bit of his contract for anyone to take a risk on him. If they’re willing to eat enough, I wouldn’t hate to see the Tribe make a run at him. Granted, I would like to see if Roberto Perez can blossom a bit playing every day, but at the very least this would give them a backup catcher (Perez or Salty on any given day) that could actually play a little bit and a veteran with a World Series ring to handle this pitching staff. We’ll see.

That’s all for now. Come out to section 181 in the bleachers tonight and chat/cry/buy me a beer.

CI_040615-090.CR2

KEEP THE CHIEF

 

Cleveland