Cedar Point announces it’s keeping The Mantis. Weird because Bottlegate told you this 3 weeks ago.

I mean I don’t want to pump my tires too much but who was the first one to say The Mantis was sticking around at Cedar Point? That Cedar Point was trying to pull a fast one on all of us by saying they’re tearing down a rollercoaster that’s not even 20 years old?

People laughed. People scoffed. I was turned into a punching bag. A laughingstock. “Mike you idiot, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” “Mike don’t quit your day job.” But I kept my head down and kept chuggin along because that’s just how I’m wired. I didn’t give up and took the advice of the one and only J. Biebs and I said “Never Say Never.” I was backed into a corner but I always knew deep down in my heart of hearts that one day I’d be exonerated. And that day is today.

Now it’s technically not “The Mantis” because they’re changing it from a stand up, testicle busting coaster to a sit down, floorless coaster. They’re also changing the name and calling it “Rougarou” which in French folklore is/was a werewolf creature who prowled the swamps of New Orleans, Louisiana. Great decision by Cedar Point. Stand up rollercoasters SUCK.

(If anyone was wondering, the werewolf is BY FAR the best mythical monster. Fuck Twilight and Edward and Bella. #TeamJacob till I die.)

See, this is the kind of hard hitting stuff you’ll find here on Bottlegate. We’re not going to bore you with statistics and numbers till your eyes fall out. We’ll entertain you, make you laugh, cry, smile, and make you think. We’re more than just a box score. What other “sports” site in Cleveland will have your back like Bottlegate will? Answer: None.

Here’s my original post on Cedar Point and The Mantis

You’ll see that the post was about 97% right. If Cedar Point didn’t bitch out with not naming the coaster after Lebron, that 97% becomes 100%.

Take a virtual ride on Rougarou

If You Think This Indians Season Is A Failure, Take A Hike

Wake up people. We’re from Cleveland. We don’t have the luxury of saying a season is a complete and utter failure if we miss the playoffs. We’re not the fucking New England Patriots. Sure, last season was a blast. Giambi’s walk-offs. The ten game win streak to end September. Actually seeing people sitting in the upper deck at The Prog for the wild card game. It was fun. Absolutely. But that team wasn’t scaring anyone in a one game playoff, let alone a five or seven game series. Our season came down to one night in October in Cleveland and we trotted out a 23 year old kid with not even 50 major league innings under his belt to toe the rubber. Michael Brantley wasn’t fourth in majors in hitting and third in WAR. Yanny Gomes and (second half) Carlos Santana weren’t what they are this year. And this was still playing shortstop.

cabrera

I’m one million percent more excited for next year than I was for 2014 after the Rays donkey punched us last October. Going into last winter we were nervous about what our starting rotation would look like after losing Scott Kazmir and Ubaldo fucking Jiminez. Look at us now. Corey KKKluber has arguably been the best pitcher in baseball this year (.2 WAR behind Clayton Kershaw). Carlos Carrasco has been almost as good since returning from the bullpen, and according to Fangraphs has had the best slider in baseball in the second half. T.J. House has pretty much been Kazmir 2.0 and is six years younger. Trevor Bauer has gone from terrible to not that bad.  Salazar has been up and down as well but has looked a lot more like the 2013 version as of late.

The bullpen has been fantastic as well. Cody Allen has done what we all thought he could since taking over as closer. Bryan Shaw is fucking gassed, I think that’s pretty clear, but has been very good up until this past week and a half or so. Not even going to try and spell his real name but Scrabble has done his job against lefties, and Kyle Crockett has made the jump from his freshman high school team to the major leagues admirably. Nick Hagadone has had somewhat of a renaissance. Scott Atchison, who coached Crockett’s father in tee-ball, has been rock solid. I know there’s a lot of one sentence verdicts and not much statistical analysis here, but I’m just trying to get the point across that what Tito Francona and Mickey Callaway have done with this pitching staff in the past 365 days has been nothing short of a god damn miracle.

callawaytito

The only step backwards we have taken this year is with our gloves. And it hasn’t been as much of a step backwards as it has been a step backwards, off a cliff, body bouncing off boulders, breaking every single limb hitting the ground, crawl and bleed for 3 days until you finally find a cabin, smoke coming from the chimney so someone must be inside, knock on the door and Andy Dirks blows your fucking head off with a shotgun. It can only get better next year. And I’m pretty sure it will. Moving Kipnis to the outfield is something I’m sure will be discussed and I’m all for it. Jose Ramirez has proven he can play at this level, both in the batters box and on the infield dirt. Whether Francisco Lindor starts next year in the majors and we move Ramirez to second and Kip to the OF, or Lindor stays in Columbus and Ramirez continues to play short, I’m convincing myself there’s no way in hell we can be this bad defensively again.

I’m sick of reading tweets about how this year is a let down. Playoffs or no playoffs, but probably no playoffs, the Indians are in much better shape than they were a year ago, and it’s not even close. Get your shit together Cleveland. This team knows what they’re doing.

 

KEEP THE CHIEF

Josh Gordon; World’s biggest…. country music fan?

So Josh Gordon has proclaimed himself the world’s biggest country music fan. Because when you think Josh Gordon the first thing you think of is “country music loving car salesman.”

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/510222764138315776

Wednesday night he proceeded to play a little “Name that tune” game on Twitter with his followers. As expected, I nailed every question with flying colors. Really Josh? 2 Darius Rucker songs? At least add some Chase Rice or Cole Swindell, ya know, some artists who aren’t that mainstream yet.

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/512390350586261505

Wagon Wheel- Darius Rucker. EAAASSSYYYY

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/512394093952262144

Come Over- Kenny Chesney. Even easier. C’mon Josh at least challenge us a little.

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/512396460093362176

People Are Crazy- Billy Currington. Alright, this one I didn’t know at first. Had to Google the lyrics.

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/512399385549090816

Alright- Darius Rucker. Couldn’t be easier.

 

https://twitter.com/JOSH_GORDONXII/status/512400468212199425

I mean, why would we ever not peg you as a fan of country music?

I mean no offense to Josh but he just doesn’t strike me as the kind of whiskey swiggin’, boot clickin, juke box kickin, front porch swingin, tractor pullin, beer chuggin sun of a gun that’s normally associated with country music fans. Either way I’m a huge fan of the musical diversity. Plus he looks pretty good in the whole redneck environment.

joshgordoncountry

Cleveland