Browns

Josh Gordon back to work this season… as a car salesman… Huh?

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Pro Football Talk– Josh Gordon has a year off from football, so he needed a job.And now he has one. A league source tells PFT that Gordon is going to work as a “goodwill ambassador” for the Sarchione Auto Group in Ohio.He will work in all aspects of the dealership, including selling cars. He’ll also represent them at community events, including for the Wounded Warrior Project.

 

Huge day for the Sarchione Auto Group. Interesting day for Josh Gordon. From being one of the most exciting players in football and leading the NFL in receiving yards to hustling around a car dealership using terms like “APR,” “back end,” “buyback,” and “laundered lemon.” It’s certainly a fall from grace. But if anyone can do it, I think it’s Josh. It only took him 2 years before he was the best wideout in the NFL. 2 years from now, he’ll be like Jeremy Piven from “The Goods” (underrated movie) running around the place selling Lemons and landing that Three Pounder (that’s car salesmen lingo FYI).

Josh is going from this:

 

To this:

 

SELL THE METAL, JOSH!!!

 

 

In all honesty, this is a good thing for him. He’ll get to spend some time away from the game and hopefully realize just how good he has it. A year of working 40 hour weeks and having to depend on commission checks should open up his eyes. One more failed drug test and he’ll be living week to week depending on that paycheck just like the rest of us.

But maybe he just needs some extra cash to finance his own car

 

Or maybe he wants to fly his favorite escort (ALLEGEDLY!!) up to Cleveland a few more times during his suspension. I can imagine things probably get pretty lonesome being away from your teammates for a full year.

 

*Puke*

 

 

 

 

 

 

Browns

Your semi annual reminder why Merril Hoge is the biggest joke in sports media

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From CBS Sports –  “If you’re the Steelers defense you want No. 2 to walk out on that field. You want him on that field,” Hoge said. “He has no business being on the field right now. This is the one thing that probably burns me more about the NFL more than anything, is when a player like Johnny Manziel is drafted based on hype and excitement, not a true football skill.

“He really had no business being drafted in the first round. When I was doing the draft and I was going through and studying him. I actually got done and it’s the first time, aside from when Tim Tebow came out, there’s nothing, nothing he does that transitions to the National Football League. There’s not one skill set he had where you say ‘Gosh he’s a first-rounder.’ Really nothing.”

——-

Hoge continued to go off on Manziel’s text to coaches about wanting to “wreck this league” and then concluded on the lengthy interview (after a diatribe about Jerry Jones and theDallas Cowboys) by predicting the “saddest, quickest ending” to an NFL career “in quite some time.”

“This will be the saddest, quickest ending we’ve seen in quite some time. It’ll be like a Tim Tebow,” Hoge said. “He is exciting. They keep coming back to it, and I go that’s great but it’s not a skill set that transitions in our league.”

 

So ESPN’s Merril Hoge had some comments about Johnny Manziel. Those of you that know me, probably know my exact feelings after reading this.

 

But I’m not gonna get mad. I’m going to take a couple deep breaths and I’m going to calmly talk about the aforementioned Merril Hoge.

I’m not going to sit here and defend Johnny Manziel from this idiot because that’s just getting tiresome… But what I will do is drag Merril Hoge’s name through the mud and show what a fraud he is. Time and time again he’s been incredibly wrong in prior statements he’s made. Seriously, I haven’t the slightest clue why he’s actually allowed to state his opinion in a public forum and why ESPN continues to keep him under contract. Unlike Skip Bayless (who is a professional troll) Hoge’s tiny little brain actually thinks what he’s saying is right. Well Merril, good thing I’m here to keep you in line.

Merril on the best QBs in the NFL

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Yep. Nailed it. Especially the no Peyton Manning or Drew Brees part.

Merril from the 2008 draft: 

“I do like Brohm better than Aaron Rodgers”

Rodgers lacks anticipation and waits to see a route come open, Brohm throws it with anticipation, that’s a huge advantage

This tweet that has since been deleted by ESPN

hogetweet

Sure, I would also rather have a 7th round pick who barely made a practice squad over arguably the best prospect in the last decade.

Merril also wears his ties like this. On purpose.

Now this I especially just don’t understand. I don’t know if he’s trying to make this his thing or if he genuinely thinks this is a good look. Also, Merril, I think your face is stupid.

And these are just a few statements that Hoge has made. It’s truly amazing how someone can actually get paid to give their opinion to the world while being so consistently inaccurate time and time again. His analysis is crap and is easily one of the most disliked people at ESPN. At this point though I don’t even know whether to be mad or to just laugh at the Factor Back.

General

Remember when Wes Welker was handing out money at the Kentucky Derby? Yeah, he was on Molly.

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From PFT- Broncos receiver Wes Welker has been suspended for the first four games of the season for violating the NFL’s policy against performance-enhancing drugs.

According to multiple reports, Welker tested positive for a banned amphetamine.

 

Whoops! Doesn’t surprise me one bit. Have you ever been to the Kentucky Derby? The place is one big shitshow with fancy hats and Mint Juleps. My only advice for Wes is next time you go to the derby, go to the infield. You won’t find any of those high class drugs there. No sir. None of that rich boy fancy stuff. The only thing you’ll find on the infield is whiskey, Bud Light, and the occasional pile of vomit. And maybe some of these people:

Cleveland